I – Prologue

II – on the inside look out

III – post education subversion

IV – the eyes of a child

V – you get what you need

VI – I hear the music

VII – stand tall

VIII – desensitisation

IX – trouble ahead, trouble behind

X – middle of the road

XI – coming of an age

XII – I’m listening

XIII – the missing link

XIV – the four of us

XV – are we there yet

XVI – her own little nightmare

XVII – your orientation, our orientation

XVIII – there’s a riot going on

XIX – the forming of shadows

XX – what she does not know

XXI – dirty work

XXII – dinner with a side of pheromones

XXIII – there be monsters in my head

XXIV – indifferent existence

XXV – it is go

XXVI – little llhaesa

XXVII – a cause to play

XXVIII – fault sightings

XXIX – fear of insanity

XXX – party favours

XXXI – the spies have it

XXXII – I see myself

XXXIII – a beer and a movie

XXXIV – ahead of the game

XXXV – unfriendly competition

XXXVI – looking for a key

XXXVII – a rising star

XXXVIII – oblivion road

XXXXIX – building a circle

XL – we see, we worry

XLI – strategy, strategy

XLII – intentionally lost

XLIII – implementation

XLIV – first look in the window

XLV – first look to the sky

XLVI – I’m getting attuned, I’m attuned

XLVII – connectivity

XLVIII – a foundation of illusion

XLIX – dance and play

L – random act of defiance

LI – the five

LII – self-anointed enemy

LIII – a father’s worry

LIV – on the run, where to hide

LV – did you hear?

LVI – we heard the news today

LVII – brothers

LVIII – change starts at the top

LIX – natural heat

LX – red light, red list

LXI – love, support, and fear

LXII – the walls come tumbling down

LXIII – a spot of tee

LXIV – in her words I

LXV – curtailing a threat

LXVI – park, run, & play

LXVII – roaming for life

LXVIII – you need to hear this

LXIX – first steps

LXX – a mind unplugged

LXXI – building a first release

LXXII – alternate route

LXXIII – surreptitious skulduggery

LXXIV – drive time worry

LXXV – facing the truth

LXXVI – planned park practice

LXXVII – take one, take 2, take 3

LXXVIII – SEQ rescue

LXXIX – day in the park, part I

LXXX – ominous warnings

LXXXI – home studio

LXXXII – piano lessons

LXXXIII – school for a prodigy

LXXXIV – paid fans

LXXXV – gender issues, work issues

LXXXVI – retreat in writing

LXXXVII – like father, like son

LXXXVIII – obsessed

LXXXIX – her very own programme

XC – smitten and hooked

XCI – nenseru five years later

XCII – show up and… talk

XCIII – imagining the imaginary

XCIV – a day in the park part II

XCV – you will save my soul

XCVI – saved and archived

XCVII – in her words II

parental turnabout

XCIX – play time

C – nenseru woods

CI – a momentary lapse

CII – you can have your scholarship

CIII – which way is up?

CIV – creative bliss

CV – I remember

CVI – waiting for prey

CVII – returning to lead

CVIII – write to live

CIX – producing change

CX – lead the way, light the way

CXI – ethereal sleep

CXII – watch and be watched

CXIII – the brother you never knew

CXIV – traces of places

CXV – first release

CXVI – manipulating hatred

CXVII – floor play

CXVIII – ghost in the music

CXIX – in her words III

CXX – finding a way through

CXXI – close call

CXXII – dreams and trees

CXXIII – new friends, new support

CXXIV – financial assistance

CXXV – if only in our dreams

CXXVI – hold her back

CXXVII – finding sail

CXXVIII – shine a positive light

CXXIX – write at your own peril

CXXX – call to adventure

CXXXI – on the move

CXXXII – and the winner is

CXXXIII – just stay up here

CXXXIV – we cannot understand

CXXXV – co-pregnancies

CXXXVI – when life inverts, when life reverts

CXXXVII – creation in a musical world

CXXXVIII – sea life

CXXXIX – order to go

CXL – wander the woods part I

CXLI – second release

CXLII – in her words IV

CXLIII – digital record

CXLIV – seductive and sultry

CXLV – she demon

CXLVI – quiet courage

CXLVII – overture to the bay

CXLVIII – parental displays

CXLIX – images of a mind

CL – seeking and fleeing

CLI – sleepless reflection, restless redirection

CLII – and the answer is

CLIII – resettling a mind, resetting a life

CLIV – guiding faith

CLV – playful exhibition; ominous oration

CLVI – explosive meeting

CLVII – raising voices

CLVIII – reconcilable differences

CLIX – tangible intuition

CLX – the memories of illusion

CLXI – background and revelation

CLXII – reformulated reality

CLXIII – a measure of maturity

CLXIV – wandering the woods part II

CLXV – not on my watch

CLXVI – a will to love, a will to accept

CLXVII – woman of fire, women of purpose

CLXVIII – spiritual intuition

CLXIX – a will to know, a will to understand

CLXX – sussing out a story

CLXXI – a tethered memory of home

CLXXII – re-formed lives, reshuffled family

CLXXIII – a world seethes

CLXXIIV – the best mislaid plans

CLXXV – in her words V

CLXXVI – no child left to worry

CLXXVII – an unwavering commitment

CLXXVIII – economic downturn, domestic violence upswing

CLXXIX – the comfort of each other

CLXXX – the brother I never had

CLXXXI – swirling thoughts, weighing choices

the voice of America

CLXXXIII – love and surrender

CLXXXIV – a course of direction

CLXXXV – what rises from the fall

CLXXXVI – the probings of love

CLXXXVII – filmed and censored

CLXXXVIII – xenophobic inquisition

CLXXXIX – a family formed in memory

CXC – the world between the lines

CXCI – plans and partners

CXCII – uprising

CXCIII – the questions of family

CXCIV – forgiveness starts from within

CXCV – interview of provocation

CXCVI – news to the world

CXCVII – wandering the woods part III

CXCVIII – baby dykes and marriage rites

CXCIX – detonation of a mind

CC – in her words VI

CCI – rumours and seekers

CCII – dark and light

CCIII – with a little help from a friend

CCIV – revelations and connections

CCV – a world reaches the edge

CCVI – jubilation and suspense

CCVII – friends and politics

CCVIII – country air, inspirational writing

CCIX – transference and reunion

CCX – a squeaky message

CCXI – another bay, a different purpose

CCXII – altered thinking, altered future

CCXIII – lament for a fallen father

CCXIV – meet llhaesa t’yaeli

CCXV – makeover day

CCXVI – we love, we treasure, we dream

CCXVII – remembering the past, visualising the future

CCXVIII – we have pictures

CCXIX – visonary friend

CCXX – meet llhaesa t’yaeli part II

CCXXI – broadcast to the universe

CCXXII – what we lost

CCXXIII – creative writing, prescient conversation

CCXXIV – domestic violence upswing part II

CCXXV – honouring her dream part I

CCXXVI – wandering the woods part IV

CCXXVII – care and custody, if not quite control

CCXXVIII – runabout, play about, call it out

CCXXIX – while away, wile away

CCXXX – no greater shock

CCXXXI – conflicted leadership, diverging choices

CCXXXII – I guess you know who I am

CCXXXIII – stirrings

CCXXXIV – regrets, laments, and a middle name

CCXXXV – security, policy, and respect

CCXXXVI – invitation to a play

CCXXXVII – invitation to a play, continued

CCXXXVIII – alone, with friends

CCXXXIX – abstractions, reactions, and ramifications

CCXL – honouring her dream part II

CCXLI – the necessity of seclusion, the inevitability of regret

CCXLII – one week, one celebration

CCXLIII – career change

CCXLIV – seeing the world through sound

CCXLV – a watchful eye, a watchful purpose

CCXLVI – caper, cavort, and frolic

CCXLVII – watching and not quite waiting

CCXLVIII – family freedom

CCXLIX – ship tease

CCL – journey’s end

CCLI – an adoptive descent

CCLII – a new day, a new family

CCLIII – the wrath of ignorance

CCLIV – warm up to reclamation

CCLV – talk, watch, and plan

CCLVI – sisters in law, part I

CCLVII – tale of the tapes

CCLVIII – guiding grandmothers

CCLIX – wandering the woods part V

CCLX – reunion part I

CCLXI – inside, outside

CCLXII – surreptitious ceremony

CCLXIII – dawn of the day of dreams

CCLXIV – the student and the teacher

CCLXV – reunion part II

CCLXVI – reunion part III

CCLXVII – reunion part IV

CCLXVIII – settled in silk, slipping from sleep

CCLXIX – the pain of a partner

CCLXX – good day, kids day

CCLXXI – plans and visions

CCLXXII – dreams of dogs

CCLXXIII – ceremonial honours

CCLXXIV – diplomatic banter

CCLXXV – consortial affirmation

CCLXXVI – evermore

CCLXXVII – final family

CCLXXVIII – would we, should we

CCLXXIX – practise and play

CCLXXX – a world to change

CCLXXXI – music, news, and opinion

CCLXXXII – aftermath and preview

CCLXXXIII – new customs, new affirmations

CCLXXXIV – ambassadorial revolutionary

CCLXXXV – sea and sail

CCLXXXVI – the lesbian and the misogynist

CCLXXXVII – walk in the rain of our tears

CCLXXXVIII – you and me and the sea

tCCLXXXIX – the damage done part I

CCXC – the damage done part II

CCXCI – gone to the dogs

CCXCII – irreverence

CCXCIII – act upon the air, act upon the sea

CCXCIV – every child needs a home

CCXCV – choosing a choice

CCXCVI – visions of the past, a vision for the future

CCXCVII – motherly advice, motherly wishes

CCXCVIII – sisters in law part II

CCXCIX – the musician and the physician

CCC – epilogue – anticipation, regret, and discovery