Saehressa needed a change of venue. She was still relatively young, and she still wished to experience life, still wished to take risks, even if it ultimately created more pain in her life.
Saehressa was on intimate terms with emotional pain. Her first child was lost at age 6 to a negligent driver, her second was murdered by the heinous Brellian at age 25. She subsequently lost her husband and love of her life – a direct result of the death of their children, lost not that long after llhaesa. He simply could not handle the fact that llhaesa was also lost.
The pain was still present in Saehressa, still with her every day. So too were the memories of Cshrehyi and llhaesa and Mrevan, and the memories were something to cling to of them, there to savour, there to appreciate.
In Saehressa’s dreams, where her conscious mind had no control over subject matter, her family would visit regularly. Sometimes the dreams were horrific, reliving the losses; sometimes whomever the dream was about would be desperately trying to reach and comfort her.
Looking around the great room, Saehressa was flooded with memories of the better times, when it was she, Mrevan, and Cshrehyi, and after Cshrehyi’s death, with llhaesa. These memories spanned 39 years, and it was time to cap them in terms of this home, time to move on.
Two weeks before, Saehressa spoke with a realtor, looking to buy a flat intown, hopefully somewhere near the Old City park llhaesa so loved.
One flat was located not six blocks from Jahrae, not right on the park, but one block away, and one tour through Saehressa knew it was perfect. Not oversized, there were three bedrooms, each with a bath, one main bath, and a living room smaller than the great room in her current home, a well-furnished kitchen, a dining room, and one extra.
The sale of her home would produce insufficient revenue to buy in this pricy and very much in demand location, but money was no issue for Saehressa. There was just one thing she wished to do before making a final decision, which is why she would meet with Jahrae the following day.
The following afternoon, Saehressa spent the trip intown in anticipation of telling Jahrae, but she was also quite apprehensive, her hands busily searching for things on her clothing or bag that could allow them to expend fidgeting energy. Jahrae might not be crazy about having her mother in law living so close to her. If so, what then?
After she entered the building, rode the lift to Jahrae’s level and reached the door to Jahrae’s flat, Saehressa was ready to forget the whole idea. Too late, she had already signalled her presence.
Jahrae opened the door, and Saehressa’s first reaction was not a usual verbal greeting, but a lunge-and-hug, totally catching Jahrae by surprise.
“Mum? Goddess, what is wrong?” Jahrae stepped back just enough to give Saehressa room to answer and to look straight into her eyes for some tell-tale sign of what might be wrong.
Seeing Jahrae’s serious expression of concern, Saehressa could not help but laugh. “I’m sorry, Jahrae, but here I’ve been so apprehensive about telling you this that my emotions took control once I saw you. I feel rather sheepish now, but may as well tell you the story… though I should have said ‘hi, mum” upon my lunging entrance!” Saehressa was actually referring to Jahrae’s own first entrance into the T’yaeli home, a fall and roll ending with that very ‘hi, mum!’
“Anyway, I am looking to sell the T’yaeli family home and move intown. I cannot stay there any longer; the place is slowly eroding my soul, nibbling away little by little. I cannot live like this, Jahrae. Too many memories everywhere I look – especially at the baby grand.
A new start in a new place, around lots of people, it would seem the perfect setting for me to move on.
There is a nice flat for sale six blocks away from here, but do not wish to buy it until I have your blessing. If you do not wish me to be so close…” Jahrae would not let Saehressa go on, and quickly cut her off with her own words.
“Nonsense, I’d love to have you so close by. I love you, Saehressa. You are my mum and have been ever since I married llhaesa 9 years ago. We are family, we get on very well – at least I think we do – and your being closer makes everything so much more convenient! Now when can we go see this place?” Jahrae wished to leave no doubt about how she quite sincerely felt.
“The realtor said we could drop at any time, she is working there today. I’m uncertain whether she was trying to pressure me to into buying, but it is working!” Saehressa had planned things, even if she was apprehensive, on the way in.
Two hours and change later, Saehressa and Jahrae were back at Jahrae’s, secure in the knowledge the realtor had a deposit and a purchase and sale signed.
“A new beginning for you and it is well deserved, mum. I know the memories will always be with you, as they are for me.” At this, a tear dropped out of Jahrae’s eye, triggered by memories of llhaesa. Another followed, and then a third. Each slowly meandered downward along her face, taking slightly different routes; Saehressa gently reached out and lovingly wiped them away.
The two extended their arms toward each other and locked in a lengthy embrace; mother and daughter, comforting each other over the unimaginable pain they carried and would forever carry, comforting each other with their own timeless mother and daughter bonds and love. Both still wished to find joy in living life, in believing that it was better to have known and loved their lost ones than to not have known them at all.
Llhaesa, Cshrehyi, and Mrevan existed in their memories. So long as each of them lived, so too would their loved ones.
