Tough decisions lie ahead for Ronnie and llhaesa. They were legally married, and that issue needed addressing at some point. The partners recognised there were two major issues that would require eventual dissolution: llhaesa was married to another, albeit of another world, and Ronnie was not gay.
Aside from these two elements, Ronnie and llhaesa loved each other dearly. Gone was the expressive physical love, aside from a hug and a peck on the other’s cheek. Remaining was a love as one finds with a friend or family member. As dissolution was a technicality, they could address the matter legally in more sedate times.
In dire need of addressing was a second issue: telling the children what had happened, the new reality of their family, and what the future might hold for the Salstons collectively and individually.
Addison was thirteen soon to be fourteen, while Serada was six. Government investigators searched northern New England for both llhaesa and the girls, with the girls of almost as much interest to them as llhaesa.
Llhaesa and Ronnie wrestled with when and how and what to say, finally deciding they could no longer put off the conversation. If investigators found them, the girls would have no understanding of what unfolded, and that was blatantly unfair.
On a warm and sunny Saturday morning, llhaesa and Ronnie prepared a picnic lunch and gathered the essentials they might need during the coming day. They would pack an already prepared lunch on a ten-kilometre hike across some of the hills and fields just to their north, where they could chat with the children at their leisure and give everyone time to ponder as they walked along.
Now on their third day at the Vermont refuge, the girls already teased llhaesa and Ronnie to take them hiking. Both rose around 7:30, wandered into the kitchen downstairs, where Ronnie informed them of the day’s plan. Both switched from early morning sluggishness into an excited, livelier mode, introducing a bit of verve and vigour into their immediate actions.
Ronnie and llhaesa had breakfast prepared, and so it was a matter of finishing breakfast, clearing and cleaning up thereafter, and setting out on the trail. Dolores and Anita planned to spend their day engrossed in books found on the owner’s well-stocked shelves, and wished the family good tidings for the coming revelations.
The hikers were without proper footwear, and so the hike would be rather limited and of easy terrain. They planned to take their time, allowing for the shorter legs and young age of Serada.
The family team set out by heading away from the pond, crossing the dirt road that passed by and to the front of the secluded home. Each was dressed in tee shirt and shorts, with socks and tennies upon their feet.
Llhaesa led the way, given her extensive hiking experience. Prior to leaving, she located a compass and topographic map to help find their way along the chosen pathway and back to their home. While the maps were different from that used on Arrhazon, she well knew the earthly version, and easily plotted their course.
Each of the hikers carried water, and the girls were actively encouraged to drink water at regular intervals. As for the main reason for this excursion, Ronnie and llhaesa intended to broach the topic about halfway in, after lunch.
The halfway point came as they reached a field of grasses, daisies, and black-eyed susans – this was prime Vermont hillside pastureland, and cows were lazily grazing on the far side of the field. The field lay upon the upslope of a small hill, the chosen trail passing along the bottom edge of the field. The picnic spot afforded a modest view of the countryside to their south, back toward their temporary residence, where the fieldstone chimney was visible just above the trees.
Llhaesa spread a blanket in an area where the grass was newly hayed, avoiding damaging the higher grasses due to be harvested in the next week – a courtesy to the farmer who relied on the hay to see the dairy cows through winter. Ronnie emptied her and llhaesa’s packs of food items, plates, and utensils.
With the events of the past week and her mind and body restored, llhaesa reverted to vegetarian, though Ronnie and the girls were not. As a result, llhaesa prepared a separate lunch of various vegetables mixed with pasta and sauce; as a side accompaniment, she had the occasional piece of pineapple she snuck off the girl’s plates. As a finishing touch, she added in an energy bar as sort of a trail dessert. Ronnie, Addie, and Serry enjoyed chicken salad, a favourite of both girls, along with fresh pineapple – that which llhaesa managed to sneak several pieces, knowing in actuality the girls would not eat it all.
With lunch about done, Ronnie drew a deep breath, held back her apprehension, and began to talk before her mind rebelled. “Addison, Serada, we have an important issue to discuss with you. This is not going to be easy for you to hear, but it involves both of you and you have a right to the truth.
You know we are staying here for a reason, though you have both been very patient and understanding. The truth is, we are here in hiding.”
Both girls looked at Ronnie, surprise falling over their faces. Addie spoke first. “Why are we hiding, and who are we hiding from?”
Ronnie answered, knowing it was not yet time for llhaesa to share her thoughts. “In five short words, we hide from our government. The reason why we hide will take longer in the explaining; it will take llhaesa and me to make our way through the story.
Your dad suffered from gender dysphoria – what that means is his mind and body were different, meaning mind was female, not male. Many people deal with such unmatched body and mind, but for your dad… the issue reflected even more.
“I’m not certain I understand, mom.” Addie spoke again. Where is dad? Is he ok?” Addison was starting to panic, what they so desperately wished to avoid.
“Your dad is here with us right now, Addie.” Ronnie blurted out in an effort to stop the emotional haemorrhaging, leaving the opening for the next logical question.
“Where?” Serada gave her voice to this question.
“I… am right here,” llhaesa answered, as three sets of eyes now turned her way, with both girls uttering in unison “Huh?”
Ronnie needed to take this to explanation, not llhaesa – the girls were completely confused. “I am going to start from the beginning, but I warn you, this story reaches far away from this place. Please be patient, it will take the complete story for you to understand.
Around fifteen years ago, there was a beautiful and talented musician. Her world – that is right, this musician did not live on this planet – was a wondrous place, much like our own, and for the most part, it was very peaceful.” Ronnie started the story, with llhaesa poised to add colour commentary.
“The world considered women to not be equal to men. This musician objected to that view, and she objected to a new and vicious leader who tried to make things even worse for everyone, but particularly women. This musician spoke up and spoke out. She had sources that sent her information no one else dare reveal, but she would share it as best she could with her audiences.” Ronnie briefly paused, glancing over at llhaesa for quiet affirmation she had the facts right.
“The leader of this world did not like the fact this musician grew increasingly popular, that people actually clamoured for her to lead them toward change in that government.
Finally, they arrested her, brought her to the government’s headquarters, where unkind things were done to her.” Ronnie tried to sanitise the story for the sake of the girls.
“What unkind things did they do to her?” this question came from Serada.
Ronnie paused, biting her lip as if willing her mouth to remain closed, but the girls needed the truth in response to their questions, the only way to maintain the trust that was essential to their family. “They raped her.”
A look of horror pulled over the girl’s expressions, their minds not needing to venture very far to grasp that meaning. Llhaesa now took over, calling upon painful memories actually lived fourteen years before.
“After the rape, they brought her to a secret facility and put her in this machine – a long white tube with lights and such, with unbearable noise inside. The machine worked on her cells, the changes it made causing her to scream out from experiencing excruciating and unimaginable pain. Once done, her memory was gone, her body remade as male. They transported her to a far off world, fearing if she remained on their world – even if dead – others would go to and gather at her grave. If they did, then the people might fuel each other’s outrage and channel that into challenging the government.
On the new world, the musician lived as male for almost 15 years, not knowing of this past history.” Llhaesa paused there, allowing Ronnie to gauge reaction and continue the story. The girls were enthralled, their minds obviously trying to visualise these occurrences – and process it all.
“Slowly,” Ronnie picked up and continued the story, “some flaw in their work allowed the musician’s real thoughts to start wearing down the mask she was forced to wear and live in. At night, her past memories gnawed at the flaws, and her dreams grew more intense – memories of what they did to her many years before forcing their way through into the dreams. Now married, her partner taped the words yelled out in her native language, words that repeated over and over – the musician was crying out for her partner on that world.
You actually know this person, girls. You have met her.” Ronnie stopped, hoping the girls might quickly make the final connection, but Addie only offered up a puzzled, “we do?” while looking intently at Ronnie for the answer. The actual answer came from a different direction.
“Yes, you do, Addison. It is I.” llhaesa finished the story.
“Y-you?” Addison mulled and ciphered the meaning. “You are the person they raped, changed, and sent away…Oh. My. Gawd! That means our dad…”
“Is me.”
“How? How did you get back to… you?” Addison continued the questioning.
“The flaws in their work allowed my real self to find such a place and strength that it could cast off the reengineering of my body. This happened early this week. I will say at that time the forces welling within me were very powerful, but I will share the actual story of that day at another time.
Because of others seeing this happen, because someone in the hospital ran tests that proved my DNA is slightly different from everyone else, the government considers me of intense interest. To them, I am an alien.
There are direct implications for both of you. Because I am such, as you are my descendants, both of you are also of interest to them. We may find your DNA masked as mine was, and since I cannot study things here – I have some training in genetic science – I cannot tell if you carry the same flaws as I did – the difference being there are no underlying memories or changes that might cast off the masking. It would take advanced medical intervention, not available on this world, to remove your masking.
Anyway, for now, this is why we hide; it is why we share this with you – because you have a right to know.
There is one more thing. It was quite unbearable to pretend your father was not here these last few days, I could not long endure such pretension, and wished to have direct connection to two of the most wonderful and important people of and in my life. I am your parent, and that unconditional love, that total bond, will always be there.” Llhaesa had agonised for days pretending not to be the parent of her children, and finally that issue ended.
The girls remained quiet, this information dominating every thought in their mind, as it would for a long time to come.
“This means that Tim is gone forever, right?” Addison was starting to see the implications and consequences.
“Yes, I am afraid so, Addie. In all honesty, Tim and I are different, and I will not pretend we are identical. I just hope you come to find a place to love me as you did Tim. It is ok to mourn for him, to miss him – that is all quite natural, and an expected reaction.
I have talked with your mum some on this. Do you recall our times with the telescope, what we would look at?” llhaesa was taking her daughters back in time, via their memories.
“Yes. We would look at 51 Pegasi, where Serry hoped there were alie…” Addison stopped, realisation dawning.
“You are from there? Meaning we have ancestors there?” Addie looked deep into llhaesa’s eyes as she asked the question.
“Yes, Addie, I am from there, and you have relatives there. And when your mum talked about gathering children and telling them they were half-alien, unfortunately, we have just had that conversation.”
“I’m an alien? Kewl!” Serada chimed in, a big smile upon her face, visions of sharing this story with her classmates. Would they be impressed!
Addison got up and walked briskly away from the group, her hurried step indicating tears were forming and moving to eruption, tears she did not wish to share in front of everyone. She moved perhaps 100 metres from the group before stopping and slowly settling to the ground.
“Ronnie, I will go and see to her. Imagine what this must be like in the hearing for an adolescent. It is time we begin to form new bonds, and that starts by solving new problems, particularly those of my own creation.” Llhaesa knew she must see to this, it was as vital as any undertaking in her life.
“You did not create this problem, llhaesa,” Ronnie felt compelled to say. “You are as much a victim as everyone else and we all just have to make the best of the altered circumstances. The girls will understand that, this is just the initial shock of learning and processing.
I agree that you should see to Addie, and that it is essential new bonds be forged between you and the children. Our family will be stronger one day for your effort, and I have complete faith in you. Over the last two days, I have come to see that the friend gained balances my husband lost.”
