It was a morning filled with both regret and anticipation, and the dichotomy carried an unintended effect upon llhaesa: uncertainty over whether to stay or to go.

For her part, Jahrae maintained a brave front, but llhaesa knew better, and the hurt she sensed in her partner, combined with her own sense of foreboding over the coming separation, left her actively pondering whether to cancel her 12 week stay at E’sphara’s Artist Colony.

Llhaesa scheduled the retreat months before, planned to give llhaesa seclusion to write the lyrics and music for her second release, scheduled for release at the end of the current year – yet llhaesa had yet to formally write any new music for the project.

She discussed the matter with Jahrae, asking if Jahrae would be amenable to llhaesa leaving for three months. Jahrae agreed, though llhaesa knew it bothered her partner.

In truth, she needed the time and needed the space. Even if she were single, the hiatus and retreat would prove essential to her creative energy. Yet how do you convey to the love of your life that such a need has no bearing upon your outlook and love for them?

In a way, this would prove a worthy time for both of them, for Jahrae would adapt, would develop new skills, she would hone already developing ones, managing their collective finances and interests, learning to make decisions without first running it by llhaesa for her thoughts or suggestions.

Jahrae knew deep inside of these things, but she craved llhaesa, craved her thoughts, outlook, laughter, rare sadness, her joie de vivre, confidence, perception, vision, insight, leadership, and a hundred other things that she might cite before ever suggesting and admitting llhaesa was hot as hell and physically irresistible.

Three months was a long time, it seemed an eternity in contemplation. Yet she bit her tongue and tried not to mope about, for llhaesa needed this space – we both need space in life, Jahrae thought – to fashion her next recording. Llhaesa was an artist after all, and there are times an artist must find inspiration, must find seclusion, must work to fashion what they create into the final form presented to an anticipating public.

The Artist Colony existed to shut the usual noise of the world out, to place an artist in a framework where their attention could refocus to creativity, to seeing the world in new ways, or experience connectivity to nature.

Llhaesa talked fondly of her first Artist Colony stay, that which ended a few weeks before she and Jahrae met. In fact, that was when Olterian, representing EREGS, hired by Jahrae’s parents, sought to locate the musician to see if she would play at Nenseru Woods.

Jahrae could see the Artist Colony in her mind’s eye, drawing upon llhaesa’s vivid and detailed recollections of her stay at E’sphara’s. Part of Jahrae wished for some personal artistic inclination of sufficient skill that she could spend some time there; such was the attractiveness of the Colony.

Absent a blessing of skill overnight that she currently failed to possess, Jahrae must find a way to adapt to llhaesa’s absence. Llhaesa indicated she was apprehensive about the separation, and in order to somewhat mitigate their concerns, asked Jahrae to promise to visit for one day each weekend, and Jahrae felt a surge of happiness at this one concession in the separation.

Llhaesa packed the night before, with Jahrae attempting to assist, while working to hold back tears that near demanded release. Bedtime led to bed-play that carried a greater sense of urgency and involvement; the two partners missed each other before ever being apart.

Now it was morning, and llhaesa’s rented transport waited in the garage. Their personal transport would remain with Jahrae, this for transport in the continuing daily doings of her life, as well as to visit llhaesa on the one scheduled day of each week.

The bags were by the door, and the partners looked to each other with loving and yearning eyes, eyes that betrayed the full extent of the regret of separation. Jahrae helped llhaesa with one of the bags as they made their way to the lift, where they entered and descended to the garage 6 floors below.

The transport’s boot lid popped open as they approached, and first llhaesa and then Jahrae placed a bag inside. As the lid re-closed and the driver side door slid upward, the two again fashioned an embrace.

Jahrae felt llhaesa’s strong arms grasp more tightly than usual, and she matched this added strength with the force and passion of the kiss that followed. Well perceiving llhaesa’s emotional swirl, Jahrae melted into llhaesa’s arms.

As with all things excepting their love, this embrace and kiss came to an unwanted end, and Jahrae resorted to words to forestall the building tears within. “Write a song for me, llhaesa. Um, I don’t mean write a song about me, but one, hell I don’t know what I am trying to say…”

Llhaesa giggled slightly and knowingly, replying, “I understand, Jahrae. Write a song that has special meaning for you.”

“Yes. Thank you.”

Llhaesa hesitated a moment, trying to fashion her own words before speaking them. “Jahrae, when I write and when I play, there is a little bit of you in each, for you are always in my thoughts.

When I see a day as beautiful, it is because I know that day has you as an integral part of my experience. When I sleep, I sleep well because you are near or in my thoughts. When I sing, when my fingers are moving across a keyboard, both carry an extra element, that laced with love, love that I carry throughout my being for you.

I leave, but know I leave reluctantly. This is necessary to my profession, and to our well-being going forward. This is part of how I make a difference, and probably part of what you love about me.

Please visit next weekend; anticipating your presence will inspire me through the other days of absence.” Llhaesa stopped, fighting her own losing effort to restrain the roiling pressure of tears, while desperately trying to keep this from showing through to Jahrae.

One final hug, one final kiss; and with that, llhaesa, now feeling the first tear crawl onto her face, hurriedly moved to the rental transport and climbed in. She drove away, her audio signal calling out farewell, her mirror reflecting a waving Jahrae, blowing a kiss towards the receding transport.

Llhaesa climbed the short distance upward, and turned onto the city street –pulling into an open parking space, set the brake, and cried, self perceiving as a fool.

Five floors above, Jahrae lay upon their bed, producing and wallowing in her tears.

After fully a half hour passed, Jahrae self-pronounced as silly, and moved to go about things to occupy her mind, while llhaesa cleared her vision sufficiently as to resume her journey out of the city, heading south of west.

The journey was but a ninety-minute drive, though the distance was significant in terms of actual kilometres. Llhaesa shifted her thoughts to music, called upon her incredible willpower, while ably assisted by her well-practised skill in Aailhra, and managed to shift her thoughts to the trip’s intended purpose.

The drive unfolded quickly after this thought-shift towards forward thinking. Llhaesa pulled into E’sphara’s drive an hour after noon, and found E’sphara waiting in welcome.

The two embraced and exchanged pleasantries, and then moved inside after llhaesa accepted E’sphara’s offer of tea and a sandwich.

Llhaesa found both already prepared, marvelling at the prescient anticipation of E’sphara. The tea was llhaesa’s personal favourite, a rather strong but pleasant taste that carried a natural hint of lime, this from a peculiar tea grown on the sloping fields outside one village on the entire world.

The two friends chatted as they ate, and llhaesa made mention of her reluctance to leave Jahrae. “I would like to meet Jahrae, llhaesa. From what you have shared in correspondence, she sounds lovely – and a perfect match for you, someone to counter your impulses at times.

“Counter my impulses?” The words confused llhaesa, and she sensed a coming revelation as she visually detected the knowing smile fashioned on E’sphara’s face. As she waited for E’sphara to respond, she raised the cup of tea, steadying and guiding it by placing her left hand alongside the steaming cup.

“Child, you know most all of your strengths, and you know some of your weaknesses, but not all. We tend to learn these things last in life because we naturally shy away from them; this is not exclusive to you.

In your case, I think you know you are capable of great things. Since your last stay here, many in this world call to you for leadership, and I agree with the sentiment of those who call to you. However, you must continue to grow as a person, grow throughout your life, never go fallow, and never cast aside your will to learn.

One of those things is recognising that Jahrae is your alter ego in some ways, one who handles the things where you are weak, who helps you see the blind spots in your logic, or even a flaw in your music. From what you have shared with me, you instinctively gravitated to someone who completes you as a human being, and I dare say so too do you complete her.

“But Jahrae rarely challenges me on anything.”

E’sphara sat back in her chair, her mind working through this response, and fashioning her own.

“She is young, llhaesa. There are what – three years between you, and you are but 24. She grows into life just as you do. She is likely in your shadow – famous musician, outgoing personality, strong of opinion. She learns from you, but she also learns on her own, and there will come a time in this life where you will realise you are not the primary player in your relationship, that Jahrae is very much your equal – and on her own terms, with her own achievements.”

Llhaesa had yet another element to question. “I view Jahrae as my equal now – she is my equal. We are all equal!”

E’sphara waited a moment, politely finishing the bite of sandwich she had just taken.

“Llhaesa, you think this, and I know you believe this, but in actuality, it is not so, it cannot be so – yet. Were I to observe your interactions, I would likely fashion together a long list of where this element shows through.

It is quite natural, and the ways of most couples in their nascent stage, I guess. If partners grow together – and apart, for that too is a necessary element – then things within the partnership will equalise, or the partnership will ultimately fail.

I do not see the two of you failing – I see you succeeding brilliantly, and when that realisation comes to you, you will marvel at the strength and achievements of the person you love, in fact you may be in awe by what you see and realise.

You will realise in that moment that your love has dwarfed what it is now.”

“That is an interesting series of observations, E’sphara, and much for me to digest.” Llhaesa added sincerely, embracing E’sphara’s words – and her quiet challenge.

“It is in fact one observation with many elemental details, llhaesa.” You may not reach this point for years – perhaps for decades even. And while I fervently wish it not be so, it may even come after an extended absence.”

“Like this time away?” llhaesa asked.

E’sphara shook her head. “No, not like now, twelve weeks will not lead to such a seismic shift in relationship dynamics – but it certainly contributes to this shift over time. You both grew a little today, I think.”

Llhaesa looked at E’sphara in wonder. The woman never failed to come at llhaesa from new tangent, from new perspective, with new teaching, and llhaesa tried to absorb every ounce of the lesson.

E’sphara’s words were in fact prescient, foretelling a decade and a half of separation. When reunion came thereafter, everything E’sphara predicted for the couple unfolded in real time, leaving llhaesa to look back to this time, on this day, as she realised her love for Jahrae pushed the limits of infinity.