Their faces reflected the stark reality of the moment: slack and drooped from physical and emotional exhaustion, tearful and sombre from hours of overwhelming sadness and worry, occasionally but all too briefly reflecting momentary hope resting on some about to be attempted and soon to fail medical procedure.
Elsrensia worked as a staff of one, relying on her family as amateur assistants with little training, when what she desperately needed were a staff of professional medical doctors and nurses. If she actually took precious time to wish for this, she would also wish to be at her family’s first class research centre on Arrhazon.
What Elsrensia had in its place was a cramped medical room on Chekresu. While superior to all other resources available on Arrkarhara, none of what she had to work with approached the extensive resources of K’avahra Medical Research Centre.
With limited room in the medical area in which to work, Elsrensia could have only two others present at any one time. Llhaesa and Khahishra immediately moved to assume the assistant’s duties.
Jahrae kept the other frantic and worried family members and friends at bay, trying and failing to keep their attention focused elsewhere, initially on the interactions with local police, who tried to gather information for the federal government, who would not have people on scene until later that night. After the local police finally left, Jahrae sat down in the front of Chekresu and placed a call to Gl’nsiel, catching her just as she left for the day.
“Hello, Jahrae,” the Chief of Government greeted her old friend. “You caught me on the way out the door; it has been a long day! How are you?”
“Gl’n, M’traliel has been shot.”
Silence.
“Gl’nsiel?” Jahrae asks, wondering if the connection severed.
“I am…here, Jahrae,” the Chief of Government replied after a few seconds of silence. “Is M’traliel going to be all right?”
“Elsrensia works on her now, and has been for hours, but in all honesty, there…” Jahrae broke down as she spoke, struggling to continue with her explanation. “There…it is unlikely, Gl’n.”
“Goddess of Arrhazon, I have had about enough of that world, Jahrae. We have upgraded Equality since you last travelled, and the time to reach you is now almost a month less. This is why we scheduled Equality to leave in a week, ready to bring you here and a new delegation there.
I am cancelling the new delegation, and sending Equality immediately. You are to pull your entire team off that world.”
“But…”
“Sorry, Jahrae, enough of what goes on there. I have to think about your collective safety. That Brotherhood group attacked llhaesa twice – so far; there was the mistaken bombing in Paris, and now M’traliel. It is too dangerous for Arrhazonans there, and I especially worry over the children.”
“But…we make great progress! We cannot abandon our efforts because of a few idiots.”
“There are more than a few, my dear friend.” Gl’nsiel spoke clearly now, her voice firm, resolve now evident. “Again, let me be clear: I am responsible for you, and the people of this world hold me accountable if anything happens to you. My decision is final; the team comes home.”
“Gl’nsiel,” a new and stronger voice unexpectedly joined the discussion. Llhaesa came up behind Jahrae, placing her hands on the back of the chair in which her wife sat, reacting to Jahrae’s exchange with Gl’nsiel. Llhaesa felt it was time for her to make her opinion known.
Normally llhaesa deferred to Jahrae; after all, Jahrae was technically a government employee reporting directly to Gl’nsiel, but this time llhaesa refused to hold her silence, no matter the consequences.
“This is llhaesa. I hear what you say to Jahrae, and I understand your frustration. Trust me when I say no one is more upset than we who are here, right now.
Goddess, M’traliel and I have been close friends for twenty-two years. You wish us to be clear on your position, well, I will be clear with mine. If this is your order, if you order us off this world, I choose to remain on Arrkarhara permanently.”
“What!” Jahrae exclaimed, spinning around and out of her seat, standing up to be face to face with her wife.
“You cannot be serious!” called out Gl’nsiel, her voice heavy with incredulity.
“Oh, I am quite serious. Have you ever known me to speak falsely, idly, impetuously, or out of some unthinking emotional haste?
This is the birth world of my daughters, and the people of this world work hard to find their way, to meet our challenge. We make excellent progress, success is this close, and I am not about to abandon the people now, simply because the task is formidable and we suffer a setback due to some crazed group.
How can I tell my daughters we give up on their world? How can I tell my daughters they can never see their home world again? This…is not going to happen, and yes, I am sorry.”
“Llhaesa,” Gl’nsiel spoke softly and slower as she tried to ratchet down the rhetoric and avoid confrontation. Still, she wished to be firm, making clear she would not back down. “Llhaesa, while I have no wish to, you know I can order your removal against your will. You are on another world and we have regulations on Arrhazonan citizens interfering in the affairs of another world, if that interference is not government policy.”
Gl’nsiel prayed this would be sufficient authority to end the matter, but her hope was for naught.
“If you forcibly remove me from this world, please know that in next year’s election, I will be your opponent,” llhaesa put forth an option Gl’nsiel knew she could not overcome – no one could – and wisely held her silence.
“Please know,” llhaesa decided to throw out a moderating element, “that I have long been an avid supporter of you, Gl’n. I do not wish to contest you, but people continually tease me over running for office; someone out there apparently values my opinion.
Goddess of Arrhazon, if someone values my opinion and my leadership, please allow me the courtesy to lead here. Or rather, lead in the framework of my activism. Please actually value my insight and opinion on a specific matter! I would hope my words carry some significant credibility with you, Gl’n.”
Llhaesa did not wish to sound angry, and overall she held it well, though she was quite upset inside. Gl’nsiel felt similarly, although llhaesa startled her; never before had she challenged and defied an order, which meant this was one issue on which llhaesa felt strongly in opposition, believing strongly in what they accomplished and could accomplish still.
“I will take this matter under consideration. I guess I should acknowledge your points have merit and you and your occasionally mischievous twin by your side have more credibility than even I do. We will talk tomorrow, but please let me know if there are any changes in M’traliel’s condition.”
The communications screen indicated the connection severed. Jahrae turned back to llhaesa, her eyes studying, probing, and searching for answers that would come only when llhaesa again chose to speak.
Jahrae did not wait, and spewed out her thoughts first. “You shocked me, ‘essa, I have to admit I would never ever have expected you to say what you just said to Gl’nsiel.
“What are you thinking? Might I have a say in whether I remain on this world – ‘forever’ as you put it – before you toss that out as a threat to the head of our government?”
Llhaesa wrestled with inner conflict, blaming herself for M’traliel’s shooting, blaming herself for everyone being here in the first place. She tired of people jumping to conclusions whenever something happened, and felt annoyance that Gl’nsiel gave Jahrae shit. Llhaesa was angry, and felt some inner push to be ornery and lash out. All of this prompted an unfortunate response on her part. “I spoke for me and no one else, Jahrae. I have no right or wish to speak for you, even if you are my wife.”
“Are you suggesting you would stay…without me?” Jahrae felt her insides wrench and cramp, as if she felt the regained constant of her life slipping away.
“I clearly stated that I would stay if our interaction with this world ends; that implies precisely nothing about your choice. You would decide to stay or not, based on how you feel.”
“You just said…”
“I know what I just said. Jahrae, if I choose to stay, it is you who must decide to stay with me or go, not vice versa.”
“This brings us back to how we should discuss this first, before decisions are made.”
“There is nothing to discuss.” Llhaesa abruptly cut off the discussion and walked away haughtily, headed back to the medical area, and quite unlike her, felt some pseudo-sordid satisfaction at her just concluded pompous conduct.
Jahrae collapsed in a chair, mentally and physically exhausted, now with this new twisted element to prey upon her mind. Replaying the day, she thought of their initial fun, followed by the shooting, and now llhaesa telling off Gl’nsiel, at the same time treating Jahrae as an afterthought unworthy of say or even consideration, instead of as her equal life-partner.
After scouring the memories of the day, Jahrae decided that the most logical answer was that llhaesa felt to blame for M’traliel, felt to blame and took the guilt upon her, resulting in it manifesting as the uncaring attitude exemplified by the stay or go discussion. Jahrae tried to convince herself of this, and while it worked for a few minutes at a time before requiring rethought and reinforcement, the incident nonetheless continued to sting.
Willing herself off the chair, Jahrae moved to the periphery of the medical area, watching Elsrensia and llhaesa move M’traliel to the ACR. A new flash of queasiness surged through her upon seeing llhaesa, starting yet another cycle of replay and reconcile.
“This is the last remaining possibility, Elsren?” Jahrae heard llhaesa ask, looking for an all too illusive element of reassurance.
Elsrensia never turned toward llhaesa, instead keeping her focus on-task. “Yes, ‘essa, it is the only chance, and even then it is a slim one. This machine can give us that chance to sustain, but the elaborate supporting equipment to correct and heal is not available, and won’t be for four months; that is a long time, even making use of cryogenics.”
Elsrensia pressed the closing switch, and the ACR swallowed M’traliel whole, its settings changed for new purpose, ready to form a cryogenic cocoon that would allow for the transport of M’traliel back to Arrhazon.
“Activating.”
Having verified all of the equipment worked properly and that all safety alerts were functioning, Elsrensia moved to the front cabin, her exodus from the medical area followed by llhaesa, Khahishra, and Jahrae.
Each of the exhausted group took a seat in the main cabin, the emotional wear and tear immediately washed over them almost as one, their inner will standing aside to let the sickening horror rip their emotional stability to shreds.
Khahishra unexpectedly spoke first, breaking what were several minutes of silence. “Thank you. I thank all of you for your effort today.
Elsrensia, without you here…three of us would be gone. Actually, we would have lost one other as well. Your skill, well, just know I appreciate all you have done. No one could do more.
Llhaesa…” Khahishra started to tear up, but she held a hand up palm forward in a stop gesture as llhaesa moved to provide comfort. “No, I wish to be as I am, but thank you. Llhaesa, we were roommates, you and M’traliel were partners then. The three of us were inseparable in college. Not long after graduation Jahrae joined us, and well, our bonds have been and are, close.
I must go back to Arrhazon, now. I must be there for M’tra no matter the outcome. For you, I heard your conversation earlier, what you told Gl’nsiel, you were louder and more forceful than you likely thought at the time. I wish you to know I agree with you on what you said to her. M’traliel never, ever would give up, and you are right to take that stand.
That said, and borrowing a term from this world…what in hell are you thinking?”
“Wh-what do you mean?” llhaesa asked, semi-obtusely, with a touch of innocence, not quite grasping the initial praise mixed with this sudden turnabout.
“What you said to Jahrae after – we all heard that as well. Please do not play that naiveté card, ‘essa, we have been friends for far too long for that to work with me. Sometimes – and I readily admit these are rare occurrences – you really need to shake yourself out of your own universe and see this one.
I need not even ask Jahrae if your words to her stung, because I have no doubt your statements of ‘I spoke for me and no one else’, along with ‘there is nothing to discuss’, were an emotional cruelty to her.
Goddess of Arrhazon, have you lost all appreciation for what your wife went through for fifteen years? Can you appreciate why we are here and what it took for her, and for all of us Arrhazonans, to be here right now?
Can you appreciate what Arrhazon, from Gl’nsiel right on down to all the people, did to make this rescue of you possible?
Yes, you went through hell. I get that. You lost your life; at least as it existed before…I get that as well.
But if you cannot see that your life is with and only with that dark haired goddess with the streaks of fire, I’m going to have to get up, and for once in my otherwise non-violent life, get violent and kick your sorry arse until you come to your senses.”
“Can we please change the subject?” llhaesa desperately looked for a verbal way out.
“No!” Khahishra sprang out of her seat, now driven by everything she endured that day, her hands emphasising each point she made. “You have your fucking partner alive and well and sitting right there, and you disrespect her. I might well have lost my partner today, and trust me, not in a million years would I say to her what you said today!
Damn you, ‘essa, I love you to pieces, I admire you to pieces, there have been countless times when I am in awe of you, but right now, right now I just think you are myopically pathetic and insolent.” Khahishra stormed out of Chekresu, headed off down the road, walking at a pace just short of a trot.
Elsrensia said nothing, walking out as well, leaving Jahrae and llhaesa alone – until Jahrae followed Elsrensia a minute later, without saying a word.
Llhaesa remained alone for an hour, most of the time lost in tears and siren like sputtering and recurring moans, mourning the loss of her friend, and mourning how the sum total of events consumed and disgorged her soul, resulting in her verbally taking out those she loved most in the process.
At the end of the hour, Khahishra quietly returned to Chekresu, and in an excellent and fortuitous rendering of how both felt one toward the other, each simultaneously attempted to apologise, llhaesa taking to her feet and offering Khahishra an apologetic and friendship affirming embrace.
Once separated, llhaesa closed the outer door, purposely locking it, before taking to the pilot’s chair and powering up the flight systems. With Khahishra on board, they met the requirement for the two-pilot protocol mandated for this craft, and llhaesa, pushed by impulse driven by an hour of evaluation, outlined her plan.
“Khahishra, here is what I wish to do…” llhaesa took time to go through the plan, at the end of which she asked if Khahishra was with her, if she wished to make the attempt.
“Yes, ‘essa, I am with you. If we do it this way, no one but us is at risk. If you say it might work, we have to try.”
The two desperate friends, reinforcing their desperation into a outlandish new hope, pushed forward to save their friend now cryogenically sustained in the medical area, planning something that would at once astound most of a world and piss off others in their contingent. Yet, their love and their resolve drove them beyond any usual rational and evaluative thought process and failsafe inner checkpoints.
Llhaesa took Chekresu off the ground, while Jahrae and Elsrensia, sitting slumped dejectedly on the sofa inside the home in full view of the craft, sprang from their seats and ran out on seeing the craft leave ground. Helpless, they could only stand and watch as Chekresu headed on a vertical climb, out of sight.
Not one of the earlier partiers had left the Khentavra-t’yaeli home; they just congregated inside the home, trying to stay out of the way, giving room to the others who saw to saving M’traliel. All ran out on seeing Elsrensia and Jahrae sprint for the outside.
Jesnsera and Chsensera arrived earlier that day in Mmurha, and so Jahrae and Elsrensia, now shaking off their astonishment, turned and ran for the craft, climbing in and activating systems, placing the craft on standby. Rather than call llhaesa via ship’s communication, they first tracked Chekresu, trying to get a handle on llhaesa’s destination.
“What is she attempting to do? Chekresu is now almost a million kilometres out from us, accelerating exponentially and seemingly heading into a bi-space access configuration,” Elsrensia remarked, stating aloud what Jahrae could see as well.
Jahrae leaned forward and activated the radio, calling to Chekresu. “Llhaesa, this is Jahrae; come on back, I am not angry with you. Please, do not do anything rash!”
“Hello Jahrae,” called out a surprising voice not at all that of llhaesa.
“Khahishra? Khahishra, is that you?” Jahrae asked, attempting to ascertain what she strongly suspected.
“It is. J’har…we will be all right.”
“Where are you going? What are you doing?”
“We are headed for Arrhazon.”
“What? Are you two fucking nuts? That craft has no capability to move at the speed needed across that distance; it will take you three years to get there. Equality will have us there in four months, round trip, if it leaves now.”
“J’har, this is ‘essa,” llhaesa’s voice was confident and purposeful; at last she felt she was truly doing all she could to help save her dear friend.
Jahrae failed to respond, her mind instead processing her partner’s latest ridiculous antic.
“J’har! Listen to me.”
“’Essa, get your arse back here right now, or I swear I will never speak to you again, am I clear?”
“J’har, please. Listen to me.”
“No, no I will not! Get the fuck back here, damn you!” Jahrae frantically pleaded.
“I…we…cannot do that.”
“I cannot believe Khahishra was going to kick your arse a bit over an hour ago, and now she teams with you in this freshly concocted madness. Now I have to kick both of your arses, damn!”
“Jahrae! Will you listen? ‘Damn’ is the right word. Oh hell, I do not wish to explain it now; I will just make things worse. Khahishra, can you?”
“All right, ‘essa, I will try. Jahrae, llhaesa messed with the engines on Chekresu. More than ‘messed’ in fact, she redesigned and reconfigured, improving engine efficiency and power, taking the engines from 22% efficiency to 89%. Not today, this is something she has tinkered with and done over the last few months, and she finally tested it the other day with M’traliel. It worked; M’tra told me it did.
This craft can reach Arrhazon in three weeks, not three months.”
“What?” Jahrae was pushed to say more, such was her mindset of anger, but her logical side stepped up and overran the emotional, realising and understanding that llhaesa had the ability and was more than capable of making such a momentous advance if she put her mind to it, which…she apparently had. Jahrae shook her head and smirked as her mind began to have a better grasp of what unfolded.
“We did not wish to put you or anyone else at risk, J’har, but llhaesa feels she has to do this, and I need to be, I must be, with M’traliel. Please understand why this was the only way this could be done.”
“Jahrae, this is ‘essa. Please know I would be lost without you in my life. I could not stand losing you again, ever.
What I said earlier…I was frantic over M’tra. I was pissed at Gl’nsiel for pushing you around and not listening to you, and maybe I should not have done it, but…I said those things in your defence. This is your team, and it has accomplished great things on your watch, with your oversight. You deserve better than to endure what I heard this morning.
After that, I just became emotionally obstinate, emotionally self-destructive. I wished to inflict pain upon myself, and there is no greater pain for me than to have you upset with me.
We need to get M’tra home to specialised, state of the art care. We cannot set around wondering, hoping, and praying for four months, we cannot take the chance of something else going wrong, we need to do this, we need to do this now. I will risk my life to do this, as will Khahishra; we owe this to M’tra.
Have faith in me, J’har, have faith, and practise Aailhra nightly as I have taught you.”
I…I do have faith in you, ‘essa. There is no one else who could do what you do, no one else I would trust to do what you do. Gl’n will not be happy, but I will deal with her, in my own way. You just be safe…you goof.”
Jahrae signed off, feeling as if someone had taken a scraper to the entirety of her skin. The only thing holding back tears was the last vestiges of inner overdrive, that and the fear that when what welled inside finally burst forth, it might never stop.
