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worlds undone

worlds undone

Category Archives: 51 Pegasi

CCXIV – meet llhaesa t’yaeli

01 Monday Dec 2008

Posted by nelle in 51 Pegasi, Addison, Arrhazon, Barbara Millwood, Brellian, Jahrae, llhaesa, Ronnie

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blog fiction, blog novels, blog stories, blog-books, creative writing, e books, e novels, eBooks, feminism, feminist, feminist fiction, feminist literature, feminist stories, feminist writing, fiction, lesbian, lesbian books, lesbian fiction, lesbian literature, lesbian stories, lesbian writing, lesbian-novels, literature, online books, online novels, original fiction, writing

Jamila felt the warmth of llhaesa’s embrace, the warmth from equal measures of llhaesa’s earlier slight overexposure to the sun and her warm personality.

“I am honoured to meet you, llhaesa – and all of you!” Jamila offered in greeting to llhaesa, the remainder of the family, and Dolores. “You face extraordinary circumstances, and it is my hope to find a way to marshal public opinion to support a more gracious and welcoming course of action. Barbara has placed great trust in me, and I shall not let any of you down.”

Ronnie stepped forward, also offering a hug to Jamila. “Our family must hide, we are unsure who wishes us well or wishes us ill, and some seek to exploit llhaesa for their own purposes. This world needs to change, Jamila. We need to move away from the thought processes that drive us toward this madness. It is time for us to grow up.”

Jamila considered this, and quickly concurred. “As you may have been told, or probably strongly suspect, I asked to meet with you to share your story or stories. All we have circulating are wild news accounts, stories of government leaders who have widely divergent views on you, llhaesa. If it is ok with you, tomorrow I would like to do the interviews, but in such a way as to not interfere with your lives.

All other times are not interviews, and what is shared during those times will not be included on what airs publicly – I will honour your wishes on what you wish to include, and you will see everything first.

Does that sound ok?”

“Do you intend to interview the children?” llhaesa asked.

“Not if you do not wish it, Jamila forthrightly answered. “To be honest, I do not think that is a wise idea – it is preferable their image remain off public media.”

“OK, we can talk on this tomorrow. I will chat with you,” llhaesa assented. “For now, since you are our de facto guest – in a place where the rest of us are guests as well.  Ronnie and I will play co-hosts and see that the lot of us have an enjoyable evening.

First, I trust you might wish to see your cabin, drop off your things, perhaps shower, rest, etc. Addison and Serada, would you be as kind as to show Jamila to one of the open cabins?”

“Sure!” they called out in unison, rather stunned that someone they frequently saw on television was now with them on the yacht. The girls each reached for one of Jamila’s hands, and then set off for the sleeping cabins.

Ronnie used this time to verify llhaesa wished to speak. “Are you certain you wish to do this, an interview essentially broadcast to the world?”

Llhaesa replied without hesitation, “Ronnie, I have done interviews live and recorded on Arrhazon, and I am quite comfortable facing questions asked without preconditions. I welcome the opportunity to state my case, to begin to let the world get to know me.”

“I thought you might feel that way, but just wished to make certain, not assume.” Ronnie replied. Would you mind if I watched while she interviews you?”

“Of course you may watch the interview, I like encouragement!”

The gathered yacht-goers spent a wonderful evening with Jamila, sharing stories, Jamila getting a feel for the family and for llhaesa. What she saw in that time confirmed what she suspected, that this was a loving family made up of caring and considerate people, and Jamila strongly sensed what Barbara mentioned – that llhaesa projects presence, something readily evident to all those around her.

The following morning, llhaesa and Jamila set up an interview location, using blue tarps to mask any clues they were on a boat or that might reveal anything that could lead someone to locate the hidden away family.

Since they would record the interview session, editing would play a fundamental role in the final product. This rendered the interview more of an informal process than might otherwise be the case.

Sufficient lighting now in place, the digital cameras, of which Jamila used two – one facing each of them – activated, the interview began with Jamila greeting llhaesa and identifying her for the audience.

“I am at an undisclosed location, here to interview llhaesa ahrella t’yaeli – the spelling of which should scroll across the bottom of your viewing screen. Llhaesa has graciously consented to an interview, so that all of you watching might form your own opinion about the first off-worlder to come to public knowledge.

Llhaesa, lets start with basics. Where are you from?”

Home for me is the fourth planet of the star system your world identifies as 51 Pegasi. The actual name for our world is Arrhazon. We are a world of 10 billion people, cousins across space to the people here. I will not bore you with the theory as to why this is so, but your viewers already know of the DNA tests that confirm the connection.”

“Why are you here?”

I was unknowingly brought here and placed in exile, my thoughts locked away inside, my body altered to male – undoubtedly, to add insult to injury, since on Arrhazon, I worked for equal rights between men and women.

How they did this, – the genetic masking – ultimately was flawed and failed, rather spectacularly, creating our current situation.

“Tell me about your interaction with our government.”

“I would rather not discuss this matter at this time, Jamila. I am still sorting out what is happening, and who advocates for various positions. Lets agree to talk on this at another time.”

“OK, tell me about the government on your world.”

“At the time of my exile, one man worked to assume dictatorial power, and also to promote even more stringent rules and law that restricted the rights of women. I worked to counter this effort, and well, one thing led to another.”

“You rather short-changed yourself in that brief summary.”

Llhaesa laughs slightly before answering. “Well, the role I played, my advocacy, was such that the world increasingly rallied in support. Some called for me to challenge this leader for power, but I resisted – to be honest, at times this call for me to lead, when I am just a musician – annoyed me, though I started to modify that view towards the end of my Arrhazon tenure.”

“How old were you at the time of your exile?”

“Twenty-five.”

“Twenty-five! There were calls for you to lead your world?

“Yes, I know it seems weird – I sort of felt it was weird as well!”

“I understand you were – are actually – married on Arrhazon. Would you mind sharing with us a bit about your spouse?”

Llhaesa’s face immediately moved to smile as thoughts of Jahrae flowed into her consciousness. “We married two years before my exile. Jahrae… is the love of my life, how I miss her!

She was 20 when we married, still a college student. She is fun loving, particularly loves to sail – we have our own sailboat, the Overture – loves to hike with me, is as loving and caring and kind and considerate and intelligent and beautiful as I might ever hope to see in another human being. I miss her dearly, in fact, not a moment passes where my body and mind fails to yearn for her presence.”

You are married to a woman.

“Yes, yes I am – and so is she, isn’t it funny how that worked out? Llhaesa answered, winking in the process.

“Arrhazon, where women are not considered equal, accepts gay relationships?

“Yes it does. There is no animosity toward gay folk there, Arrhazonans view us as any other, we love whom we love – we cannot help this, nor is it unnatural. Love is beautiful. Commitment is beautiful.

“Are there countries on Arrhazon?”

“No. We are one world, though a very diverse one. War is not part of the equation there, and Brellian is an aberration. We will need to take greater care and not take freedom and equality for granted in the future.

“How do you contrast Arrhazon with Earth?

“I love both worlds, actually. Both have their strengths and weaknesses, and we all should strive to work on our weaknesses, eh?”

“I am going to change topics here, and switch to music. You mentioned you are a musician. Might I entice you into playing a song for us?”

“I would love to, Jamila!”

The interview pauses, as llhaesa moves to the adjacent keyboard, activating it, and readying to play. She signals Jamila, who re-activates the cameras.

Llhaesa began to play, the camera focused on one angle of her performance. She chose a slower tempo song, a song that reflected her yearning for Jahrae, for her touch, for her love. Llhaesa’s fingers worked the keyboard as if they were magical, flowing and sliding and caressing the keys such that any viewers would find themselves enraptured. Llhaesa could not see the look on Jamila’s face as she concentrated on playing, but watching the video later, Ronnie remarked with amusement at Jamila’s open astonishment.

Along with magnificent key-play, llhaesa’s non-amplified voice soared across a stunning range, vocal power dripping from every note.

As the song wound toward what most thought was the conclusion, it suddenly veered off into a wildly up-tempo beat, one that finished with llhaesa playing the keyboard with her back turned toward it.

Jamila stopped the cameras once llhaesa finished. “Wow!” she blurted out. “That was awesome!”

“Thank you,” llhaesa graciously replied. “I say we take a break right here, go and stretch our legs, have a bite to eat, and interact with family.” Llhaesa suggested, with Jamila readily agreeing, for in truth, she needed to catch her breath and clear her head after the magnificent performance she just witnessed. In Jamila’s mind, she never saw anyone sing or play quite like llhaesa, and the world would be remiss if it cast this person away.


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♣ raison d’être


Over the past seven months, writing the individual stories of llhaesa and Jahrae, as well as their common story, has taken a special place in my heart.

There are some elements, those with playful exchanges, or those where discussion is heavier, that grab hold of my emotions, sometimes even grab hold of my thoughts, weighing upon me during the day.

llhaesa’s story has been welling inside of me for some significant time in rough form. The story is a by-product of coping with gender dysphoria, of being a feminist and a lesbian, and dealing with all the issues related to being lgbt through my life, from closet to post-coming out; while finding – or perhaps stumbling - my way through.

Music is the catalyst, a translator of raw sensory information and feelings, that helps me take the cloud forming in my mind and shape it into story. Sometimes this is via the lyrics, other times through the melody, sometimes simply by way of the sound of an individual instrument.

Musical influences come from Delerium; Beth Orton; Dar Williams; Joan Armatrading; Sarah McLachlan; Tori Amos; Natalie Merchant; Heather Nova; Tracy Chapman; Linda Perry; Alanis Morissette; Bruce Springsteen; Brooke White; Roxy Music; and many others.

There is no order to the posting of story elements or in writing them; each is posted randomly in time, of character, of place - much like how we might share stories from our lives with another. There are times when I will string together elements, and that pattern is evident in the rescue of llhaesa and the subsequent reunion.

Most of the novel is told via a narrator; with one exception. Writing llhaesa’s last day from her perspective - what she experiences, what she sees unfold around her, how she views and reacts to these things – seemed more compelling and interesting. I added one final element to this that actually is not of her last day on Arrhazon, but in her coming out here.

There are six posts told from llhaesa’s real time experience. These story elements (in her words I-VI) are the most interesting and fun to write, as well as the most emotionally draining. As I write this, 29 posts remain in book one, and the last ten have proven the most demanding emotionally.

Some of the story involves an element of science fiction, necessary to bridge the connection between the two worlds, the disconnects, the reconnects. It is not my intent to fashion a tale of science fiction, and the parts that touch on it will remain an essential minimum. The true intent is to share a humanist and feminist story, one where two worlds struggle to find their way to gender equality. The main protagonists are lesbian, and we get to see where at least on one world, this is no issue. Our world can have issue with us, and in this story, one gets to watch as both worlds find their way to creating more accepting and equal societies. The next book will find llhaesa facing this issue square on.

The story consists of 300 individual elements, which when collectively read forms a story of book length. As written currently and displayed on the blog, this is a rough draft; changes will likely be made over time to already published elements.

This is Book One, as what follows post 300 will best be framed into its own book. The second will address issues that will be at once interesting and challenging to explore and contemplate - building upon the story told in Book One. Llhaesa, drawing upon idealism, optimism, and an incredible ability to motivate, will tackle issues in ways I believe most all of us in the lesbian community would wish to see unfold in actuality. If nothing else, the story allows us to get lost in fantasy for a while.

While the title is ‘world’s undone,' this is really the life story of and the results triggered by an incredibly talented musician and activist. Llhaesa refuses to sit idly by while gender discrimination harms the women of her world and freedom is lost on one world, paying a terrible price for her effort. When she resurfaces here, now it is our turn to face her challenges to a world resulting from her unrelenting vision and dreams.

Jahrae, while prominent throughout the story, is sort of the unsung hero, the person who grows through the story to become a formidable presence in her own right. This is by design, and her growth is a perfect match to llhaesa, who needs someone to challenge and inspire her to new learning, to new creativity.

As I wrote the story, note that I originally did not plan on having the children parented by Jahrae, Ronnie, and llhaesa. Initially my intent was for friction to build, to show that sometimes we run into difficulty seeing eye to eye with our spouses. In the end, I could not do this, for my idealism and optimism, of trying to craft something as it should be, got in the way.

nelle

♣ say that again?

Aalon:

A.ah.lawn



Aailhra:

A.yul.har.rah



Arrhazon:

Are.ha zawn



Brellian:

Brr.L.lee.an



Chsensera:

Cheh.sen.sear.rah



Cshrehyi:

Sess.ray.hee



Djellrin:

Dee.jell.er.in



E'sphara:

E.ss.far.ruh



Gl’nsiel Frehsan:

Jellen.sheel Fray.shawn



Hrilleae:

Ha.rill.ee.ay



I'Isahra M'lensa:

I.ih.sah.rah Mah.len.sah



Jahrae T'srha Khentavra:

Ja.ha.ray Teh.share.ahh Ka.hen.tahv.rah



Jesnsera Sserhara:

Ja.ess.en.sear.ah Say.sear.ahh



Elsrensia K’avahra:

L.sir.rent.sha Kah.hah.vair.ah



Khaehala:

Kay.ha.la



Khahishra:

Ka.ha.heesh.ruh



Kyielra:

Ka.E.I'll.ra



llhaesa ahrella t'yaeli:

lie yay sah are.ha.rell.la tay.lye



Lzrehae N’seseh:

Lah.zer.ra.hay N.sha.say



M'sela J'serhn:

Mah.sell.ahh Jay.sehr.hen



M'traliel Zralensa:

M.tra.lee.ell Zee.ra.len.sah



Mrevan:

Mm.ruh.van



Njesera:

En.djuh.say.rah



N'rellia:

N.rell.lee.ah



Olterian:

Oh.L.tear.E.an



Saehressa:

Sigh.ah.ress.ah



Serada:

Sir.rah.da



Sjre Jlrasre:

S.jer.ray Jas.sell.rass.er



Sk'vra Kjurha:

Skeh.var.rah Kah.jour.rah



Vreloran:

Vreh.lore.an



Zreltian:

Zzer.L.she.an



♣ people and places

  • 51 Pegasi
  • Aailhra
  • Aalon
  • Addison
  • AGA
  • Alicia Ellenwood
  • Anita
  • arlkhala
  • Arrhazon
  • Arrhazon College
  • Arrhka
  • Arrkarhara
  • Barbara Millwood
  • Bill Green
  • Boston
  • Brellian
  • Casey
  • Chsensera
  • city north
  • Cshrehyi
  • David
  • Djellrin
  • Dolores
  • Dottie Salston
  • Dr Elsrensia K’avahra
  • Dr. Ed Ellsworth
  • Dr. Wrehsx
  • E'sphara
  • Empo
  • Ensign Sserhara
  • Gl'nsiel
  • Henry Smithson
  • Hrilleae
  • I’Isahra M’lensa
  • J'saera
  • Jahrae
  • Jamila Karenga
  • J’luhre Forest Preserve
  • Jesnsera
  • Jredvarha City
  • Keene
  • Khaehala
  • Khahishra
  • Kukaeshra
  • Kyielra
  • Lajxa R’chr
  • llhaesa
  • Lzrehae
  • M'sela J'serhn
  • M'traliel
  • Marcia Paang
  • Mark Cahill
  • Mrevan
  • N'rellia
  • N'rellia Naturally
  • Nenseru Woods
  • Njesera
  • North 41
  • Old City
  • Olterian
  • reiki
  • Ronnie
  • Saehressa
  • Sara Beth
  • SEQ
  • Serada
  • Sjre Jlrasre
  • Sk'vra
  • southeast quadrant
  • Susan Woodward
  • Sylvia Washington
  • Tim
  • V'aesza
  • Vicki
  • Vreloran
  • Y'sre School of Music
  • Zreltian

♣ who’s who

Aalon:

Chief Curator of N’rellia Conservatory of Music



Aailhra:

Arrhazonan equivalent to Reiki



Addison:

Ronnie and llhaesa’s eldest daughter



Arrhazon:

llhaesa & Jahrae home world



Brellian:

Unstable Arrhazonan dictator



Chsensera:

Child friend of llhaesa and Jahrae



Cshrehyi T’yaeli:

llhaesa’s brother



Djellrin Khentavra:

Jahrae’s dad



E'sphara:

Owner of E’sphara Artist Colony



Gl’nsiel Frehsan:

Chief of Government after Brellian



Hrilleae Khentavra:

Jahrae’s mum



Admiral I'Isahra M'lensa:

Commander of Equality



Jahrae T'srha Khentavra:

llhaesa’s wife, and Ambassador



Jesnsera Sserhara:

hero of revolution who saves Jahrae



Ensign Jesnsera Sserhara:

daughter of Jahrae’s friend & wife of Chsensera



Elsrensia K’avahra:

Physician and revolutionary



Khaehala:

Chsensera’s mum



Khahishra:

llhaesa’s college roommate and M’traliel’s wife



Kyielra:

victim of murder, witnessed by young Jahrae



llhaesa ahrella t'yaeli:

musician and leader of two worlds



Lzrehae N’seseh:

Government employee and discoverer of important documents



M'sela J'serhn:

llhaesa’s college advisor



M'traliel Zralensa:

friend of llhaesa, and first lover



Mrevan:

llhaesa’s dad



Njesera:

Head of government records department



N'rellia:

Llhaesa’s college and most prestigious school on Arrhazon



Olterian:

Concert promoter



Saehressa:

llhaesa’s mum



Serada:

Ronnie and llhaesa’s youngest daughter



Sjre Jlrasre:

Café owner



Sk'vra Kjurha:

llhaesa nemesis and future hero of revolution



Vreloran:

government technician who helps llhaesa



Zreltian:

Former Arrhazonan Chief of Government



♣ historical tales

  • February 2009
  • January 2009
  • December 2008
  • November 2008
  • October 2008
  • September 2008
  • August 2008
  • July 2008
  • June 2008

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♣ CC License

Worlds Undone

by llhaesa t'yaeli



Is licensed under a

Creative Commons Attribution-No Derivative Works 3.0 United States License.

Based on a work at http://llhaesa.org/.

♣ CC Licence II

Worlds Undone

by llhaesa



Is licensed under a

Creative Commons Attribution-No Derivative Works 3.0 United States License.

Based on a work at llhaesa.wordpress.com.

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