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worlds undone

worlds undone

Category Archives: Anita

CCLXXXIII – new customs, new affirmations

19 Monday Jan 2009

Posted by nelle in Addison, Anita, Arrhazon, Arrkarhara, David, Dottie Salston, Dr Elsrensia K’avahra, Hrilleae, Jahrae, Jamila Karenga, llhaesa, Mrevan, Ronnie, Saehressa, Serada, Tim, Vicki

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Hours after returning to Equality, the entirety of the family gathered for dinner in the Dining Hall.

Once on board, Jahrae saw to the Salston’s need for living space, and with this done, she set out for the Dining Hall, requesting reservations for a party of fourteen. This number included Elsrensia, for the connection between Ronnie and Elsrensia was no longer just speculation, it was fact.

Jahrae also requested seating near the broad expanse of massive portals that formed the outside wall of the ship, captivating ambiance for the gathered family.

Reservations were for eight pm, allowing plenty of time for people to settle in, perhaps nap, shower, and dress for dinner.

Jahrae had a surprise for the evening that she would share with the group, an idea unintentionally gleaned from Jamila during a commercial break.

After the programme, she and Jamila mysteriously scooted off, promising only to return shortly, and they did, a full forty minutes later, offering no explanation as to where and why they had gone.

With arrangements for dinner made, Jahrae returned to their suite, finding herself pounced upon by a very much in the mood llhaesa. With four hours until the reservation, there was more than enough time for play and time to ready for dinner.

Jahrae softly giggled at and frolicked in llhaesa’s sexual aggressiveness, treasuring every second of the resulting intimacy. They settled in anticipation into their bed, silken burgundy covers drawn to cover their bodies in case of the unexpected incursion of visiting children, not wishing a reprise of Serry’s night time intrusion several weeks before.

They made love driven by the full force of their passion, though Jahrae muted her calling-out, knowing if her voice reached above a certain level it would be audible outside of their immediate environs, and questions from their children would prove the equal of their entering the room at an inopportune time.

Knowing they ran against the clock, they kept their bed play under an hour, the satisfying ending flowing into sleep in the arms of one another.

Jahrae woke with a start at eight pm, immediately recalling the time of their reservation. She scrambled out of bed, the sheets pulling off llhaesa as they caught on Jahrae’s feet, such was her frantic effort to reach the bath and expeditiously shower.

Llhaesa woke from the sudden removal of the warmth of both Jahrae and the bedding, and immediately fell into laughter as her partner tried to shake herself loose from the entangled sheets.

Deciding it was pointless to move until Jahrae vacated the shower, llhaesa lingered in bed for ten minutes, pulling the bedding back over her, and awaiting her turn to shower. When Jahrae walked out of the bath wrapped in towels – one for hair, one for body – llhaesa, bereft of any clothing, scooted into the bath and on into the shower, attempting a new personal best in shower time.

Dinner was not a formal affair, but both dressed a bit above their usual clothing for comfort. Jahrae chose black and white as a colour theme, knowing llhaesa loved her in that colour combination. Her choices consisted of black dress slacks and a white mock turtleneck tunic, with an Arrhazonan sapphire goddess of fertility draped on a gold chain around her neck.

Llhaesa, knowing much of her clothing was on borrowed time as her pregnancy progressed, chose to wear her favourite dress blue jeans with a white button down oxford top, leaving the top button of the shirt open. Llhaesa then improvised to suit her mood, finding a red scarf that she wore in necktie fashion around her neck, but with the tie inside the opened collar shirt, rather than under the fold of the collar. The tie fell perfectly, ending just a few centimetres below belt level on her jeans.

A half-hour late, the couple made their way out of their suite just before eight thirty and headed for the dining hall, where they found the rest of the family already in waiting. Both apologised profusely for their unintended tardiness.

The children were given a choice to sit interspersed within the adults at the table, or to gather collectively in their own sub-pod of dining. Led by Addison, they went with the latter choice, claiming the far right side of the table as their dining turf.

Llhaesa found herself seated at the head of the left hand side, though not by choice. She sensed this was not accidental for whatever reason, and redirected her thoughts toward conversation already underway.

Jahrae sat to llhaesa’s immediate left, back toward the portal and the spectacular view of the blue, white, brown, and green earth below.

Vicki sat directly across from Jahrae and to the right of llhaesa, while David sat alongside his wife.

Dottie sat toward the right side of the table with Hrilleae, Saehressa, and Anita, the grandmothers working their mutual magic in welcoming and initiating another into their familial sorority.

Two servers worked the party competently and professionally, taking orders for refreshments and appetisers, while standing back attentively, giving the party space to enjoy each other’s company without interference, yet being within distance such that they might promptly see to the needs of any guest.

Llhaesa listened, seeing where the conversation was in the moment, allowing her time to understand the topic at hand before she attempted to join in. With pregnancy, alcohol was no longer an option as refreshment, and so she settled for her favourite non-alcoholic refreshment, carbonated water with a couple of twists of lime.

Due to their current locale in space, the crew, curious and adventurous in ways that included their dining, made a few trips to bring earth fruits and vegetables aboard ship. The chefs seized this opportunity to create new dishes, though a few were tried and true Earth recipes.

Llhaesa, drawing on fourteen years of Earth living, ordered mushrooms stuffed with bread crumbs, cheese, and jalapeños as an appetiser, curious to see if Jahrae loved them as much as she.

Llhaesa noticed a marked change in David’s attitude. Instead of sombre, David was actively chatting, laughing, and cracking jokes, at one point even winking at llhaesa, something he never would have done with Tim.

“How are you tonight, sis?” David called out; startling llhaesa, given this was the first use of the term ‘sis’ ever.

“I am well, thank you for asking. So far, morning sickness has spared me, though I fear my appetite is rapidly gaining sway over me. These jeans will not fit much longer!”

“Llhaesa, you have a long way to go before those do not fit you, and you are in incredible shape to begin with!” Vicki tossed in. “That said, I understand on appetite, everything sounded delicious when I was preggers with the twins.

Before we get lost in conversation, thank you for having us aboard, and for welcoming us into the family, this means much to David and me.”

“I second what Vicki said,” David began, fully accepting and welcoming the change of circumstances. “When you wrestled me, llhaesa, something deep inside told me you were all about the truth that you really desired us to be family, that you had some inner drive to play big sister to me as little brother.

When you squared off to wrestle, it was at once amusing and fun, real sibling interaction on one hand, and on the other, a fervent wish to reconnect. Thank you.

As Tim, you were hard to connect with, distant, private, living in your own world. Now, you are effervescent and outgoing, a leader, both in our family and in life.

I do not know if I can be of help to you with the foundations that will form, but I surely wish to try.”

Llhaesa’s eyes flashed with pride, looking deep into David’s eyes in a way that Tim never would. She saw trust, she saw hope, she saw love. This… was family.

“The only regret I have, Tim, is that you never met my dad. You would have liked him, I think.”

Dinner proved everything llhaesa, Jahrae, and Ronnie wished it to be, cementing the ties of family, building for the future.

Jahrae held her surprise for after dinner.  Although she sat near llhaesa, she stood, calling the attention of the group. “There is an Arrkarharan – Earth – custom of which I became aware earlier today while on Jamila’s programme, and Jamila was gracious in offering to assist me, given I know not the city of Chicago!

While llhaesa and I are already married, given that our family – is of two worlds, it seems appropriate to incorporate customs of both worlds into our formal relationship.

Llhaesa, I know you know you are my moon, you are my stars, you are my inspiration in life. As an affirmation of our love, this is for you.” Jahrae held a tiny but elegant case, which she slowly opened for llhaesa and all to see. Inside was a breathtakingly beautiful blue diamond stone in an simple but magnificently worked gold setting, the colour emphasised by smaller sapphires to either side. The stones were proportional to the setting, tasteful and not garish. The ring spoke of honouring love and a partner, not one that would make it the focal point of a gathering, merely a beautiful accompaniment representing love, not materialistic predomination of thought.

Llhaesa, her emotions already on standby alert due to the wash of hormones within, fell into both smile and tears simultaneously, overwhelmed by Jahrae’s beautiful gesture born of learning of a custom and wishing it to represent her love. “Jahrae, it is magnificent, and I shall treasure this always!” Llhaesa joined Jahrae in standing, the lovers embracing and sharing a passionate, but tasteful kiss.

Lying in bed hours later, double pillows fluffed and propped up behind each of the now happily exhausted lovers, conversation was mellow, speculating and pondering their future, as well as reliving the surprise ring sharing during dinner. They lay close and tight after a heavy and passionate round of lovemaking, reluctant to fall into sleep and disconnect from their mutual wish to let the whole of their senses drink in everything about the other. “After 8 years, another baby in the home, that will be some re-adjustment!”

“Perhaps for you my dear, but for me, this child shall be a first, requiring a total adjustment.”

“And yet you wish for your turn at pregnancy as well, or so you have told me five nights in a row!”

“I do, parenting is the fulfilment of a life’s goal and dream. Growing up in a society that encouraged women to eschew careers in favour or domestic life, I was fortunate to have parents who saw a different future for me.”

“One that you enthusiastically embraced, not to mention you took serious risk to work for change leading up to the revolution.”

“That I did, but it was worth the effort. After all, I was there to assist Jahrae, and if nothing else, that was a vital strategic accomplishment, not to mention a mandatory personal requirement. Had I failed to assist, I would never have forgiven myself.”

Ronnie snuggled just a little closer to Elsrensia, and reached over with her right arm in a pseudo-hug.

“Thank goodness you were there, Elsrensia, thank goodness you were there. And thank goodness you are here!”


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♣ raison d’être


Over the past seven months, writing the individual stories of llhaesa and Jahrae, as well as their common story, has taken a special place in my heart.

There are some elements, those with playful exchanges, or those where discussion is heavier, that grab hold of my emotions, sometimes even grab hold of my thoughts, weighing upon me during the day.

llhaesa’s story has been welling inside of me for some significant time in rough form. The story is a by-product of coping with gender dysphoria, of being a feminist and a lesbian, and dealing with all the issues related to being lgbt through my life, from closet to post-coming out; while finding – or perhaps stumbling - my way through.

Music is the catalyst, a translator of raw sensory information and feelings, that helps me take the cloud forming in my mind and shape it into story. Sometimes this is via the lyrics, other times through the melody, sometimes simply by way of the sound of an individual instrument.

Musical influences come from Delerium; Beth Orton; Dar Williams; Joan Armatrading; Sarah McLachlan; Tori Amos; Natalie Merchant; Heather Nova; Tracy Chapman; Linda Perry; Alanis Morissette; Bruce Springsteen; Brooke White; Roxy Music; and many others.

There is no order to the posting of story elements or in writing them; each is posted randomly in time, of character, of place - much like how we might share stories from our lives with another. There are times when I will string together elements, and that pattern is evident in the rescue of llhaesa and the subsequent reunion.

Most of the novel is told via a narrator; with one exception. Writing llhaesa’s last day from her perspective - what she experiences, what she sees unfold around her, how she views and reacts to these things – seemed more compelling and interesting. I added one final element to this that actually is not of her last day on Arrhazon, but in her coming out here.

There are six posts told from llhaesa’s real time experience. These story elements (in her words I-VI) are the most interesting and fun to write, as well as the most emotionally draining. As I write this, 29 posts remain in book one, and the last ten have proven the most demanding emotionally.

Some of the story involves an element of science fiction, necessary to bridge the connection between the two worlds, the disconnects, the reconnects. It is not my intent to fashion a tale of science fiction, and the parts that touch on it will remain an essential minimum. The true intent is to share a humanist and feminist story, one where two worlds struggle to find their way to gender equality. The main protagonists are lesbian, and we get to see where at least on one world, this is no issue. Our world can have issue with us, and in this story, one gets to watch as both worlds find their way to creating more accepting and equal societies. The next book will find llhaesa facing this issue square on.

The story consists of 300 individual elements, which when collectively read forms a story of book length. As written currently and displayed on the blog, this is a rough draft; changes will likely be made over time to already published elements.

This is Book One, as what follows post 300 will best be framed into its own book. The second will address issues that will be at once interesting and challenging to explore and contemplate - building upon the story told in Book One. Llhaesa, drawing upon idealism, optimism, and an incredible ability to motivate, will tackle issues in ways I believe most all of us in the lesbian community would wish to see unfold in actuality. If nothing else, the story allows us to get lost in fantasy for a while.

While the title is ‘world’s undone,' this is really the life story of and the results triggered by an incredibly talented musician and activist. Llhaesa refuses to sit idly by while gender discrimination harms the women of her world and freedom is lost on one world, paying a terrible price for her effort. When she resurfaces here, now it is our turn to face her challenges to a world resulting from her unrelenting vision and dreams.

Jahrae, while prominent throughout the story, is sort of the unsung hero, the person who grows through the story to become a formidable presence in her own right. This is by design, and her growth is a perfect match to llhaesa, who needs someone to challenge and inspire her to new learning, to new creativity.

As I wrote the story, note that I originally did not plan on having the children parented by Jahrae, Ronnie, and llhaesa. Initially my intent was for friction to build, to show that sometimes we run into difficulty seeing eye to eye with our spouses. In the end, I could not do this, for my idealism and optimism, of trying to craft something as it should be, got in the way.

nelle

♣ say that again?

Aalon:

A.ah.lawn



Aailhra:

A.yul.har.rah



Arrhazon:

Are.ha zawn



Brellian:

Brr.L.lee.an



Chsensera:

Cheh.sen.sear.rah



Cshrehyi:

Sess.ray.hee



Djellrin:

Dee.jell.er.in



E'sphara:

E.ss.far.ruh



Gl’nsiel Frehsan:

Jellen.sheel Fray.shawn



Hrilleae:

Ha.rill.ee.ay



I'Isahra M'lensa:

I.ih.sah.rah Mah.len.sah



Jahrae T'srha Khentavra:

Ja.ha.ray Teh.share.ahh Ka.hen.tahv.rah



Jesnsera Sserhara:

Ja.ess.en.sear.ah Say.sear.ahh



Elsrensia K’avahra:

L.sir.rent.sha Kah.hah.vair.ah



Khaehala:

Kay.ha.la



Khahishra:

Ka.ha.heesh.ruh



Kyielra:

Ka.E.I'll.ra



llhaesa ahrella t'yaeli:

lie yay sah are.ha.rell.la tay.lye



Lzrehae N’seseh:

Lah.zer.ra.hay N.sha.say



M'sela J'serhn:

Mah.sell.ahh Jay.sehr.hen



M'traliel Zralensa:

M.tra.lee.ell Zee.ra.len.sah



Mrevan:

Mm.ruh.van



Njesera:

En.djuh.say.rah



N'rellia:

N.rell.lee.ah



Olterian:

Oh.L.tear.E.an



Saehressa:

Sigh.ah.ress.ah



Serada:

Sir.rah.da



Sjre Jlrasre:

S.jer.ray Jas.sell.rass.er



Sk'vra Kjurha:

Skeh.var.rah Kah.jour.rah



Vreloran:

Vreh.lore.an



Zreltian:

Zzer.L.she.an



♣ people and places

  • 51 Pegasi
  • Aailhra
  • Aalon
  • Addison
  • AGA
  • Alicia Ellenwood
  • Anita
  • arlkhala
  • Arrhazon
  • Arrhazon College
  • Arrhka
  • Arrkarhara
  • Barbara Millwood
  • Bill Green
  • Boston
  • Brellian
  • Casey
  • Chsensera
  • city north
  • Cshrehyi
  • David
  • Djellrin
  • Dolores
  • Dottie Salston
  • Dr Elsrensia K’avahra
  • Dr. Ed Ellsworth
  • Dr. Wrehsx
  • E'sphara
  • Empo
  • Ensign Sserhara
  • Gl'nsiel
  • Henry Smithson
  • Hrilleae
  • I’Isahra M’lensa
  • J'saera
  • Jahrae
  • Jamila Karenga
  • J’luhre Forest Preserve
  • Jesnsera
  • Jredvarha City
  • Keene
  • Khaehala
  • Khahishra
  • Kukaeshra
  • Kyielra
  • Lajxa R’chr
  • llhaesa
  • Lzrehae
  • M'sela J'serhn
  • M'traliel
  • Marcia Paang
  • Mark Cahill
  • Mrevan
  • N'rellia
  • N'rellia Naturally
  • Nenseru Woods
  • Njesera
  • North 41
  • Old City
  • Olterian
  • reiki
  • Ronnie
  • Saehressa
  • Sara Beth
  • SEQ
  • Serada
  • Sjre Jlrasre
  • Sk'vra
  • southeast quadrant
  • Susan Woodward
  • Sylvia Washington
  • Tim
  • V'aesza
  • Vicki
  • Vreloran
  • Y'sre School of Music
  • Zreltian

♣ who’s who

Aalon:

Chief Curator of N’rellia Conservatory of Music



Aailhra:

Arrhazonan equivalent to Reiki



Addison:

Ronnie and llhaesa’s eldest daughter



Arrhazon:

llhaesa & Jahrae home world



Brellian:

Unstable Arrhazonan dictator



Chsensera:

Child friend of llhaesa and Jahrae



Cshrehyi T’yaeli:

llhaesa’s brother



Djellrin Khentavra:

Jahrae’s dad



E'sphara:

Owner of E’sphara Artist Colony



Gl’nsiel Frehsan:

Chief of Government after Brellian



Hrilleae Khentavra:

Jahrae’s mum



Admiral I'Isahra M'lensa:

Commander of Equality



Jahrae T'srha Khentavra:

llhaesa’s wife, and Ambassador



Jesnsera Sserhara:

hero of revolution who saves Jahrae



Ensign Jesnsera Sserhara:

daughter of Jahrae’s friend & wife of Chsensera



Elsrensia K’avahra:

Physician and revolutionary



Khaehala:

Chsensera’s mum



Khahishra:

llhaesa’s college roommate and M’traliel’s wife



Kyielra:

victim of murder, witnessed by young Jahrae



llhaesa ahrella t'yaeli:

musician and leader of two worlds



Lzrehae N’seseh:

Government employee and discoverer of important documents



M'sela J'serhn:

llhaesa’s college advisor



M'traliel Zralensa:

friend of llhaesa, and first lover



Mrevan:

llhaesa’s dad



Njesera:

Head of government records department



N'rellia:

Llhaesa’s college and most prestigious school on Arrhazon



Olterian:

Concert promoter



Saehressa:

llhaesa’s mum



Serada:

Ronnie and llhaesa’s youngest daughter



Sjre Jlrasre:

Café owner



Sk'vra Kjurha:

llhaesa nemesis and future hero of revolution



Vreloran:

government technician who helps llhaesa



Zreltian:

Former Arrhazonan Chief of Government



♣ historical tales

  • February 2009
  • January 2009
  • December 2008
  • November 2008
  • October 2008
  • September 2008
  • August 2008
  • July 2008
  • June 2008

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♣ CC License

Worlds Undone

by llhaesa t'yaeli



Is licensed under a

Creative Commons Attribution-No Derivative Works 3.0 United States License.

Based on a work at http://llhaesa.org/.

♣ CC Licence II

Worlds Undone

by llhaesa



Is licensed under a

Creative Commons Attribution-No Derivative Works 3.0 United States License.

Based on a work at llhaesa.wordpress.com.

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