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worlds undone

worlds undone

Category Archives: arlkhala

CLXVIII – spiritual intuition

30 Thursday Oct 2008

Posted by nelle in arlkhala, Arrhazon, Arrkarhara, Jahrae, llhaesa, Saehressa

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blog fiction, blog novels, blog stories, blog-books, creative writing, e books, e novels, eBooks, feminism, feminist, feminist fiction, feminist literature, feminist stories, feminist writing, fiction, lesbian, lesbian books, lesbian fiction, lesbian literature, lesbian stories, lesbian writing, lesbian-novels, literature, online books, online novels, original fiction, writing

Saehressa returned to her cabin, her mind full of happy thoughts. A long time elapsed from the last time events of a day left her smiling so at its conclusion.

Retiring for the night gave her the first serious down time since Jahrae’s exciting revelation earlier in the day, and Saehressa decided a quick and soothing shower, along with her usual bedtime hygienic ritual, would come first. Thereafter, Aailhra would draw her interest and concentration, and finally bed.

Her body cleansed and readied for bed, Saehressa searched out the myriad of candles brought aboard for her nightly Aailhra sessions, placing four like wide but stubby candles upon her dresser, and then setting each of them alight.

In the resulting flickering amber glow, Saehressa stood straight and tall, her 1.84-metre frame reflecting a practised lifetime of seriousness and dedication to her task. Her hands moved upward and came together palm to palm, with fingers such that no gaps existed – a classic and timeless human approach to prayer.

Saehressa closed her eyes, exhaled sharply and breathed in deeply but slowly, and then silently began a prayer of thankfulness. The prayer segued into an invitation to all those connected through the spiritual and who wished to engage in Aailhra, to feel free to join with her in sending healing energy to whatever destination they were inclined to choose.

Her opening prayer done, Saehressa pulled her hands away from their mutual prayer-pinnacle, now raising them separately but with palms extended, again silently working with her mind’s concentration; this time, she called upon the symbols sacred to Aailhra, channelling their healing energy about her new living space. “Love and light, love and light” repeated through her mind in repetition rotation with the various symbols she chose to invoke, her body now slowly pivoting to send the energy to all corners of the suite.

Upon first entering her room after boarding, Saehressa found an Aailhra table set up for her. She intended to bring her own aboard, but those charged with seeing to her supplies assured her there would be such tables available on board ship. Now with prayers and room clearing done, she raised her body onto the table, stretching out upon her back, and relaxed.

She began softly chanting the symbols anew, this time with her hands wrapping the crown of her head, fingers extended but closed side to side, and the tips of her middle fingers touching. After a few minutes, she shifted positioning to one hand on her chest, one to her throat, and finally ending this segment with both hands resting on her abdomen.

Self-treating finished, Saehressa moved to send distant healing energy to all of her family and friends. Energy flowed to the spiritual, to Mrevan and to Cshrehyi, and finally toward llhaesa.

She took particular care with llhaesa, searching for clues to where to send the energy flowing into her body, coursing through, and redirected out her hands. Her senses guided her, and so Saehressa sent healing energy across space, across time to her daughter-in-need.

The session ended, Saehressa’s eyes opened, her torso moved upright, and then she slowly slid off the table. Her first stop was the bath for one final call before bed. Minutes later, she settled into her new bed, one that would be hers for the duration of this trip, however long. Thoughts quickly flooded her consciousness, her senses now well tuned to the mother and daughter connection.

Llhaesa was lost 14 years before to a vicious man who saw himself as a potential dictator. He brutally raped llhaesa – and Saehressa watched every bit of that recording – before disposing of her by mysterious means. Now, now, it appeared there was no disposal, only ostracising of some form to a place unknown. Where? One of 140 worlds, and it was their assignment to find the right one and bring llhaesa home.

Other thoughts came to mind, thoughts of dreams – not just Saehressa’s dreams, but also those of Jahrae. One dream in particular left her analysing and pondering, a dream of trees, a dream of llhaesa at the point of a tree.

This dream came to Jahrae years before, and in retrospect, Saehressa felt the dream carried substance and significance. Llhaesa was out there somewhere, and llhaesa practised Aailhra as faithfully as Saehressa. Undoubtedly, healing energy flowed this way from llhaesa, again focusing senses toward awareness.

Her thoughts broke with the calling of a soft rap upon her suite door. Saehressa called out ‘one moment,’ while rising and grabbing her robe in one motion. Walking toward the door and working the keypad, the door slid open to reveal Jahrae’s always welcome and smiling face. “Mind if I bother you for a few moments?”

“Of course not, come on in Jahrae!”

Jahrae carried a portable interface, and she quickly handed it to Saehressa. Saehressa scrolled down through the information, and then looked up at Jahrae. “I was just lying in bed thinking on llhaesa practising Aailhra, and taking care to be aware of her sendings.

Do you remember your tree-dream, way back in the aftermath of llhaesa’s loss? You were still recovering then, and you could not wait to tell me.”

Jahrae nodded, the dream coming back into her mind. “Llhaesa was 40ish in the dream; I was in my late 30s. We were standing next to a sizeable arlkhala tree, back together after so very long…” Jahrae trailed off, her mind thinking on yet another dream, evidently simultaneously with her mother in law. Her voice rose slightly, reflecting an increase in excitement.

“In another dream the day before, I dreamt of the Arlkhala Constellation… at the point of which was llhaesa.”

Saehressa nodded enthusiastically, the two dreams now re-associated after so many years. Jahrae continued on. “There were children in the second dream, mum. Llhaesa was chatting with children.” She looked straight into the eyes of Saehressa; the two sensing there was a significant connection here, given what lie on the interface.

The interface information – what started this foray into Jahrae’s past dreams – was from Chief of Government Gl’nsiel. Investigators were making headway in the newly discovered secret sub-floors of the old government tower in downtown Arrhazon.

On this day, they discovered records of the mysterious machinery, records that mentioned llhaesa as the only human to experience whatever it was this machine did. It also gave names of those involved in its development and operation, and investigators were fanning out to find these individuals. Further, there was mention of a subsequent and apparently connected secret mission.

Already in custody was Vreloran G’jessa, apparently the machine operator, and Vreloran was sharing all he knew even as they read this report.

Gl’nsiel was hopeful they would uncover the destination fairly soon.

“Jahrae, do you recall the name of the star atop the Arlkhala Constellation?” Saehressa knew the answer, and a smiled betrayed this fact to Jahrae.

“No, but you know! What is it?” Jahrae sensed Saehressa felt this might be a key element, such was the playful expression on her face – somewhat how Jahrae was with the information on llhaesa, while the remainder still thought this a recovery mission.

“It is on our list of the 140, thought the most remote. Think about it, Jahrae. An irrational leader goes to all this trouble to rid the world of his nemesis – your wife, my daughter. If you are going to place her on another world, would you choose a close in world where we have contact, or a more remote world where there is none?” Saehressa not only rationalised, but her Aailhra senses roared to life. She was on the right track; she could feel this pointed them in the proper direction.

“The star is Arrkarhara.”

“Arrkarhara is 50 light years distant. It will take months to traverse that distance. If it proves wrong, we severely set back our search. Saehressa, I am new to, but dedicated in, following Aailhra. I will look there as you for guidance.

We will wait a week before setting course in that direction. In that time, we give the investigators time to uncover something significant.”

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♣ raison d’être


Over the past seven months, writing the individual stories of llhaesa and Jahrae, as well as their common story, has taken a special place in my heart.

There are some elements, those with playful exchanges, or those where discussion is heavier, that grab hold of my emotions, sometimes even grab hold of my thoughts, weighing upon me during the day.

llhaesa’s story has been welling inside of me for some significant time in rough form. The story is a by-product of coping with gender dysphoria, of being a feminist and a lesbian, and dealing with all the issues related to being lgbt through my life, from closet to post-coming out; while finding – or perhaps stumbling - my way through.

Music is the catalyst, a translator of raw sensory information and feelings, that helps me take the cloud forming in my mind and shape it into story. Sometimes this is via the lyrics, other times through the melody, sometimes simply by way of the sound of an individual instrument.

Musical influences come from Delerium; Beth Orton; Dar Williams; Joan Armatrading; Sarah McLachlan; Tori Amos; Natalie Merchant; Heather Nova; Tracy Chapman; Linda Perry; Alanis Morissette; Bruce Springsteen; Brooke White; Roxy Music; and many others.

There is no order to the posting of story elements or in writing them; each is posted randomly in time, of character, of place - much like how we might share stories from our lives with another. There are times when I will string together elements, and that pattern is evident in the rescue of llhaesa and the subsequent reunion.

Most of the novel is told via a narrator; with one exception. Writing llhaesa’s last day from her perspective - what she experiences, what she sees unfold around her, how she views and reacts to these things – seemed more compelling and interesting. I added one final element to this that actually is not of her last day on Arrhazon, but in her coming out here.

There are six posts told from llhaesa’s real time experience. These story elements (in her words I-VI) are the most interesting and fun to write, as well as the most emotionally draining. As I write this, 29 posts remain in book one, and the last ten have proven the most demanding emotionally.

Some of the story involves an element of science fiction, necessary to bridge the connection between the two worlds, the disconnects, the reconnects. It is not my intent to fashion a tale of science fiction, and the parts that touch on it will remain an essential minimum. The true intent is to share a humanist and feminist story, one where two worlds struggle to find their way to gender equality. The main protagonists are lesbian, and we get to see where at least on one world, this is no issue. Our world can have issue with us, and in this story, one gets to watch as both worlds find their way to creating more accepting and equal societies. The next book will find llhaesa facing this issue square on.

The story consists of 300 individual elements, which when collectively read forms a story of book length. As written currently and displayed on the blog, this is a rough draft; changes will likely be made over time to already published elements.

This is Book One, as what follows post 300 will best be framed into its own book. The second will address issues that will be at once interesting and challenging to explore and contemplate - building upon the story told in Book One. Llhaesa, drawing upon idealism, optimism, and an incredible ability to motivate, will tackle issues in ways I believe most all of us in the lesbian community would wish to see unfold in actuality. If nothing else, the story allows us to get lost in fantasy for a while.

While the title is ‘world’s undone,' this is really the life story of and the results triggered by an incredibly talented musician and activist. Llhaesa refuses to sit idly by while gender discrimination harms the women of her world and freedom is lost on one world, paying a terrible price for her effort. When she resurfaces here, now it is our turn to face her challenges to a world resulting from her unrelenting vision and dreams.

Jahrae, while prominent throughout the story, is sort of the unsung hero, the person who grows through the story to become a formidable presence in her own right. This is by design, and her growth is a perfect match to llhaesa, who needs someone to challenge and inspire her to new learning, to new creativity.

As I wrote the story, note that I originally did not plan on having the children parented by Jahrae, Ronnie, and llhaesa. Initially my intent was for friction to build, to show that sometimes we run into difficulty seeing eye to eye with our spouses. In the end, I could not do this, for my idealism and optimism, of trying to craft something as it should be, got in the way.

nelle

♣ say that again?

Aalon:

A.ah.lawn



Aailhra:

A.yul.har.rah



Arrhazon:

Are.ha zawn



Brellian:

Brr.L.lee.an



Chsensera:

Cheh.sen.sear.rah



Cshrehyi:

Sess.ray.hee



Djellrin:

Dee.jell.er.in



E'sphara:

E.ss.far.ruh



Gl’nsiel Frehsan:

Jellen.sheel Fray.shawn



Hrilleae:

Ha.rill.ee.ay



I'Isahra M'lensa:

I.ih.sah.rah Mah.len.sah



Jahrae T'srha Khentavra:

Ja.ha.ray Teh.share.ahh Ka.hen.tahv.rah



Jesnsera Sserhara:

Ja.ess.en.sear.ah Say.sear.ahh



Elsrensia K’avahra:

L.sir.rent.sha Kah.hah.vair.ah



Khaehala:

Kay.ha.la



Khahishra:

Ka.ha.heesh.ruh



Kyielra:

Ka.E.I'll.ra



llhaesa ahrella t'yaeli:

lie yay sah are.ha.rell.la tay.lye



Lzrehae N’seseh:

Lah.zer.ra.hay N.sha.say



M'sela J'serhn:

Mah.sell.ahh Jay.sehr.hen



M'traliel Zralensa:

M.tra.lee.ell Zee.ra.len.sah



Mrevan:

Mm.ruh.van



Njesera:

En.djuh.say.rah



N'rellia:

N.rell.lee.ah



Olterian:

Oh.L.tear.E.an



Saehressa:

Sigh.ah.ress.ah



Serada:

Sir.rah.da



Sjre Jlrasre:

S.jer.ray Jas.sell.rass.er



Sk'vra Kjurha:

Skeh.var.rah Kah.jour.rah



Vreloran:

Vreh.lore.an



Zreltian:

Zzer.L.she.an



♣ people and places

  • 51 Pegasi
  • Aailhra
  • Aalon
  • Addison
  • AGA
  • Alicia Ellenwood
  • Anita
  • arlkhala
  • Arrhazon
  • Arrhazon College
  • Arrhka
  • Arrkarhara
  • Barbara Millwood
  • Bill Green
  • Boston
  • Brellian
  • Casey
  • Chsensera
  • city north
  • Cshrehyi
  • David
  • Djellrin
  • Dolores
  • Dottie Salston
  • Dr Elsrensia K’avahra
  • Dr. Ed Ellsworth
  • Dr. Wrehsx
  • E'sphara
  • Empo
  • Ensign Sserhara
  • Gl'nsiel
  • Henry Smithson
  • Hrilleae
  • I’Isahra M’lensa
  • J'saera
  • Jahrae
  • Jamila Karenga
  • J’luhre Forest Preserve
  • Jesnsera
  • Jredvarha City
  • Keene
  • Khaehala
  • Khahishra
  • Kukaeshra
  • Kyielra
  • Lajxa R’chr
  • llhaesa
  • Lzrehae
  • M'sela J'serhn
  • M'traliel
  • Marcia Paang
  • Mark Cahill
  • Mrevan
  • N'rellia
  • N'rellia Naturally
  • Nenseru Woods
  • Njesera
  • North 41
  • Old City
  • Olterian
  • reiki
  • Ronnie
  • Saehressa
  • Sara Beth
  • SEQ
  • Serada
  • Sjre Jlrasre
  • Sk'vra
  • southeast quadrant
  • Susan Woodward
  • Sylvia Washington
  • Tim
  • V'aesza
  • Vicki
  • Vreloran
  • Y'sre School of Music
  • Zreltian

♣ who’s who

Aalon:

Chief Curator of N’rellia Conservatory of Music



Aailhra:

Arrhazonan equivalent to Reiki



Addison:

Ronnie and llhaesa’s eldest daughter



Arrhazon:

llhaesa & Jahrae home world



Brellian:

Unstable Arrhazonan dictator



Chsensera:

Child friend of llhaesa and Jahrae



Cshrehyi T’yaeli:

llhaesa’s brother



Djellrin Khentavra:

Jahrae’s dad



E'sphara:

Owner of E’sphara Artist Colony



Gl’nsiel Frehsan:

Chief of Government after Brellian



Hrilleae Khentavra:

Jahrae’s mum



Admiral I'Isahra M'lensa:

Commander of Equality



Jahrae T'srha Khentavra:

llhaesa’s wife, and Ambassador



Jesnsera Sserhara:

hero of revolution who saves Jahrae



Ensign Jesnsera Sserhara:

daughter of Jahrae’s friend & wife of Chsensera



Elsrensia K’avahra:

Physician and revolutionary



Khaehala:

Chsensera’s mum



Khahishra:

llhaesa’s college roommate and M’traliel’s wife



Kyielra:

victim of murder, witnessed by young Jahrae



llhaesa ahrella t'yaeli:

musician and leader of two worlds



Lzrehae N’seseh:

Government employee and discoverer of important documents



M'sela J'serhn:

llhaesa’s college advisor



M'traliel Zralensa:

friend of llhaesa, and first lover



Mrevan:

llhaesa’s dad



Njesera:

Head of government records department



N'rellia:

Llhaesa’s college and most prestigious school on Arrhazon



Olterian:

Concert promoter



Saehressa:

llhaesa’s mum



Serada:

Ronnie and llhaesa’s youngest daughter



Sjre Jlrasre:

Café owner



Sk'vra Kjurha:

llhaesa nemesis and future hero of revolution



Vreloran:

government technician who helps llhaesa



Zreltian:

Former Arrhazonan Chief of Government



♣ historical tales

  • February 2009
  • January 2009
  • December 2008
  • November 2008
  • October 2008
  • September 2008
  • August 2008
  • July 2008
  • June 2008

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♣ CC License

Worlds Undone

by llhaesa t'yaeli



Is licensed under a

Creative Commons Attribution-No Derivative Works 3.0 United States License.

Based on a work at http://llhaesa.org/.

♣ CC Licence II

Worlds Undone

by llhaesa



Is licensed under a

Creative Commons Attribution-No Derivative Works 3.0 United States License.

Based on a work at llhaesa.wordpress.com.

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