• chapters – book one
  • chapters – book two
  • nelle

worlds undone

worlds undone

Category Archives: Arrhazon College

CCLXXIII – ceremonial honours

10 Saturday Jan 2009

Posted by nelle in Addison, Arrhazon, Arrhazon College, Chsensera, Ensign Sserhara, Jahrae, llhaesa, N'rellia, Ronnie

≈ Leave a Comment

Tags

blog fiction, blog novels, blog stories, blog-books, books, creative writing, e books, e novels, eBooks, feminism, feminist, feminist fiction, feminist literature, feminist stories, feminist writing, fiction, lesbian, lesbian books, lesbian fiction, lesbian literature, lesbian stories, lesbian writing, lesbian-novels, literature, online books, online novels, original fiction, story telling, writing

Late for her meeting with Chsensera because of the time spent with Addison, llhaesa scooted through the hall, her mind thinking back to Addison’s wish for a Newfoundland puppy.

Llhaesa mentioned the request to Ronnie and Jahrae; now her mind drifted back to their conversation, with Jahrae unknowing of this species of Esrha, and so they both teamed to bring up the Arrkarharan internet to search for an example.

Seeing the picture, Jahrae’s eyes grew wide, followed by a question pointedly aimed at llhaesa. “And you told her this was ok?”

“I did.”

Jahrae burst into laughter, partially because she loved the idea of one of these giant and gentle furballs, but partially because she intended to pretend annoyance in order that llhaesa would volunteer to help Addison care for the creature. Looking sternly at llhaesa with arms folded, Jahrae asked, “And who will provide care for the Esrha – I mean dog?”

“Addison will, and if she cannot, I will assist her.”

Ronnie joined Jahrae in finding this amusing, but in the end, both agreed to llhaesa and Addison getting a Newfoundland, affirming llhaesa’s commitment to Addison.

Reaching the lounge, llhaesa found Chsensera waiting at a small table not far from the bar, just to the right of the baby grand piano. The lighting was in its usual subdued state, conducive to relaxation and conversation.

“Hello, Chsen. Sorry I am late; I was preoccupied in conversation with Addison, discussing her desire of a pet. Jahrae tells me you have something to ask of me?”

Before llhaesa could answer, a server arrived and took her order of a beer and an appetizer. Llhaesa asked if Chsen wished another drink, and as Chsen nodded, the server recorded the request and set about fulfilling the order, with llhaesa asking for everything to be on her tab.

“Llhaesa, you know Jesnsera and I are partnered. What you do not know, and what I wished to personally tell you, is that we wish to marry.”

Llhaesa grinned, her grin reflecting her happiness for Chsen, but also that she sussed this out days ago, and had a surprise in store for this one. “Congratulations! When will you marry?”

“Tomorrow, providing arrangements are complete.”

“Tomorrow! You two did not waste time!

“Ahem… tomorrow marks nine weeks for us together, and I believe you married at four weeks?”

“You have us on that one, Chsen! May you have all the happiness in your marriage that Jahrae and I share in our marriage!”

“There is more, llhaesa. I wish to know… wish to know whether you will accompany me in place of my mum.”

“Of course I will, that is an honour I will treasure. Of course, your mum is ok with my standing in for her.”

Chsen’s face formed an expression of puzzlement. “You did not ask that as a question,” Chsen stated, hoping llhaesa would explain.

“I spoke with your mum days ago. The two of you are in love, obviously in love, and it did not take me long to suspect something was afoot here. I called your mum and had a nice chat. I needed to call her anyway, so this worked out well. Khaehala is thrilled that I am ok, and standing in for her.”

“You knew I would ask you?”

“No, your mum knew you would ask me.”

“Well, thank you! Now I have both of you in our wedding!”

Now it was llhaesa’s turn to be confused. They just discussed how Chsen’s mum was back on Arrhazon, so Chsen referred to someone else. “Both of us in your wedding – who is the other you refer to?”

Chsen laughed, thinking back to the tease-fest of four days before. “You and Jahrae are in our wedding. Jahrae is conducting the ceremony and officiating. As commander on this voyage, that duty falls to her.”

Far from the feigned reaction of days before, Llhaesa felt something tingle inside; a mix of pride, of love, of this as honour, of how Jahrae in this role meant much to llhaesa, as did the prospect of standing with Chsen as she married Jesn. To llhaesa’s way of thinking, life formed up nicely now that she was out of the clutches of captors.

“Is this a formal or informal wedding?” llhaesa inquired, beginning to think through logistics.

“Informal and formal, we remain undecided.”

Llhaesa giggled knowingly, remembering that their solution was to semi-elope. “That solved precisely nothing! When will you decide, ten minutes before the ceremony?

I understand your view, but people need to know today how to prepare tomorrow. It takes time for me to put on war paint and accessories!”

“You need no war paint, llhaesa. Yours is a natural beauty. How about I call Jesn to join us and we can finalise things? There is something both of us wish to ask you, though I fear we exhaust our quota of requests.”

“Very well, though you are free to ask me as well! Do not worry on exhausting your quota of requests, I bill by the hour.” Llhaesa replied, winking at Chsen.

Chsen called Jesn on her ships mobile, and Jesnsera arrived minutes later. Taking a seat to the side of her partner and opposite llhaesa, she seemed somewhat fidgety to llhaesa, nervous about the question they prepared to ask.

Chsen looked at Jesn, obviously looking for her to ask, and it was apparent the two partners had discussed and planned this element. “Llhaesa,” Jesn began, “we were hopeful you would sing for us during the ceremony.”

Llhaesa again felt honoured, and quickly responded with, “Of course I will. I will sing what you wish, how you wish, and when you wish.”

“Thank you, this means much to us, llhaesa. I do have a song request, and we will both understand if you prefer not to sing it, but it is our favourite.”

“What is it you wish me to sing that you feel I might resist?”

“Forever, Wherever.”

Llhaesa could not help but feel the force of remembrance, her mind retracing back to the circumstances of when she wrote the song, putting every ounce of her love into what she felt at the time was a final declaration to Jahrae. On the horrid night 14 years before, llhaesa faced the prospect of imminent death.

“As you suspected, the song is an emotional one for me, Chsen and Jesn. All of my love poured out of me into the recordings of that night. I felt resigned to my fate, and wished to leave something for Jahrae that would be a reminder that my love for her was limitless; it would be all Jahrae had left of me.

To this day, the songs stir the emotions of the moment within me, and to this day, I feel the total love of my partner that inspired the writing and recording, as I felt it then.

I will sing this song for you, and I welcome doing so for you, but please know that in all honesty the song will pull me away from focus toward the two of you, of the commitment you make to one another, and toward my love standing before you, presiding.”

Llhaesa watched as a tear dropped out of Jesn’s right eye. Grabbing a tissue from her jeans pocket, reached out to the young woman and gently and lovingly daubed it away.

Chsen watched llhaesa’s caring and simple kindness and felt tears forming as well, but she managed to squelch the tears for now. “Llhaesa, I suspect Jesn feels as I, that your frank admission, that your focus would be such, reaffirms the meaning of the song for us. Thank you.”

“You are most welcome Chsen. Now if I may switch subjects, there is a matter I wish to discuss with you.”

Chsen looked puzzled, and tentatively replied in a prompting manner, “OK?”

Llhaesa smiled, but after conversing with Khaehala, felt she needed to pursue this course. “I mentioned education the other day, referencing our children, but your names worked their way into the matter, in terms of the example I wished to set.

I wish to clarify this for you; it was not my or Jahrae’s intent to demean and devalue either of you. You have yet to finish school, Chsen, and you are young – not yet 20. Your mum trusts Jahrae and me to guide you, and please take no offence, for I pushed Jahrae in this way in her school days as well.

Your mum informed me your school performance is exemplary. Since we will live on Arrkarhara for over a year, you need to attend college. Moreover, I expect you to ready for graduate studies thereafter.

My understanding is I am not the only one at this table with dreams of earning a doctorate.”

“You believe I can enrol in school on Arrkarhara?”

“Yes. And we will work to set up an interface to Arrhazon College if need be, just as I do with the doctoral programme and N’rellia.”

“I would love to do this! I have another question for you, now. Are you considering teaching on a collegiate level?”

Llhaesa smiled, as she looked inward for the answer. “Yes, I have Chsen. I am not interested in a full tenure, but teaching one class of students might prove very rewarding, enlightening, and if you pardon the word, entertaining.

Do you see me as a tough prof to have, or that I will kick the arses of wayward students?”

“You would not kick someone’s arse, llhaesa.”

“Oh? Brellian might have reason to disagree with you.”

“That was different – and did you ever kick his arse! You are one of the kindest, gentlest souls I have had the pleasure to know and love.”

“OK, so which is it, formal or informal?” llhaesa looked for a decision, reaching back to the original subject matter.

“We compromise – it shall be semi-informal!” Jesn called out, ending the debate.

“Semi-informal it is. Just before I sing, I will ingest helium; I believe that would be a nice touch!” Llhaesa teased.

“You wouldn’t dare!” Chsen challenged.

“Hmmm… daring me, or daring my partner generally is a challenge we often accept.”

Chsen’s facial colour changed immediately to a crimson shade. “You would really do this?”

“Have you ever seen video of when I appeared at Hrensa Music Hall?”

“Yes, why – the opening song, the one you and Jahrae sang when you reunited!”

Jesn looked straight into her partner’s eyes before she spoke for her and Chsen with a simple reply, “Oh, great! Just great! And Chsen, no more dares, m-kay?”

← Older posts

♣ raison d’être


Over the past seven months, writing the individual stories of llhaesa and Jahrae, as well as their common story, has taken a special place in my heart.

There are some elements, those with playful exchanges, or those where discussion is heavier, that grab hold of my emotions, sometimes even grab hold of my thoughts, weighing upon me during the day.

llhaesa’s story has been welling inside of me for some significant time in rough form. The story is a by-product of coping with gender dysphoria, of being a feminist and a lesbian, and dealing with all the issues related to being lgbt through my life, from closet to post-coming out; while finding – or perhaps stumbling - my way through.

Music is the catalyst, a translator of raw sensory information and feelings, that helps me take the cloud forming in my mind and shape it into story. Sometimes this is via the lyrics, other times through the melody, sometimes simply by way of the sound of an individual instrument.

Musical influences come from Delerium; Beth Orton; Dar Williams; Joan Armatrading; Sarah McLachlan; Tori Amos; Natalie Merchant; Heather Nova; Tracy Chapman; Linda Perry; Alanis Morissette; Bruce Springsteen; Brooke White; Roxy Music; and many others.

There is no order to the posting of story elements or in writing them; each is posted randomly in time, of character, of place - much like how we might share stories from our lives with another. There are times when I will string together elements, and that pattern is evident in the rescue of llhaesa and the subsequent reunion.

Most of the novel is told via a narrator; with one exception. Writing llhaesa’s last day from her perspective - what she experiences, what she sees unfold around her, how she views and reacts to these things – seemed more compelling and interesting. I added one final element to this that actually is not of her last day on Arrhazon, but in her coming out here.

There are six posts told from llhaesa’s real time experience. These story elements (in her words I-VI) are the most interesting and fun to write, as well as the most emotionally draining. As I write this, 29 posts remain in book one, and the last ten have proven the most demanding emotionally.

Some of the story involves an element of science fiction, necessary to bridge the connection between the two worlds, the disconnects, the reconnects. It is not my intent to fashion a tale of science fiction, and the parts that touch on it will remain an essential minimum. The true intent is to share a humanist and feminist story, one where two worlds struggle to find their way to gender equality. The main protagonists are lesbian, and we get to see where at least on one world, this is no issue. Our world can have issue with us, and in this story, one gets to watch as both worlds find their way to creating more accepting and equal societies. The next book will find llhaesa facing this issue square on.

The story consists of 300 individual elements, which when collectively read forms a story of book length. As written currently and displayed on the blog, this is a rough draft; changes will likely be made over time to already published elements.

This is Book One, as what follows post 300 will best be framed into its own book. The second will address issues that will be at once interesting and challenging to explore and contemplate - building upon the story told in Book One. Llhaesa, drawing upon idealism, optimism, and an incredible ability to motivate, will tackle issues in ways I believe most all of us in the lesbian community would wish to see unfold in actuality. If nothing else, the story allows us to get lost in fantasy for a while.

While the title is ‘world’s undone,' this is really the life story of and the results triggered by an incredibly talented musician and activist. Llhaesa refuses to sit idly by while gender discrimination harms the women of her world and freedom is lost on one world, paying a terrible price for her effort. When she resurfaces here, now it is our turn to face her challenges to a world resulting from her unrelenting vision and dreams.

Jahrae, while prominent throughout the story, is sort of the unsung hero, the person who grows through the story to become a formidable presence in her own right. This is by design, and her growth is a perfect match to llhaesa, who needs someone to challenge and inspire her to new learning, to new creativity.

As I wrote the story, note that I originally did not plan on having the children parented by Jahrae, Ronnie, and llhaesa. Initially my intent was for friction to build, to show that sometimes we run into difficulty seeing eye to eye with our spouses. In the end, I could not do this, for my idealism and optimism, of trying to craft something as it should be, got in the way.

nelle

♣ say that again?

Aalon:

A.ah.lawn



Aailhra:

A.yul.har.rah



Arrhazon:

Are.ha zawn



Brellian:

Brr.L.lee.an



Chsensera:

Cheh.sen.sear.rah



Cshrehyi:

Sess.ray.hee



Djellrin:

Dee.jell.er.in



E'sphara:

E.ss.far.ruh



Gl’nsiel Frehsan:

Jellen.sheel Fray.shawn



Hrilleae:

Ha.rill.ee.ay



I'Isahra M'lensa:

I.ih.sah.rah Mah.len.sah



Jahrae T'srha Khentavra:

Ja.ha.ray Teh.share.ahh Ka.hen.tahv.rah



Jesnsera Sserhara:

Ja.ess.en.sear.ah Say.sear.ahh



Elsrensia K’avahra:

L.sir.rent.sha Kah.hah.vair.ah



Khaehala:

Kay.ha.la



Khahishra:

Ka.ha.heesh.ruh



Kyielra:

Ka.E.I'll.ra



llhaesa ahrella t'yaeli:

lie yay sah are.ha.rell.la tay.lye



Lzrehae N’seseh:

Lah.zer.ra.hay N.sha.say



M'sela J'serhn:

Mah.sell.ahh Jay.sehr.hen



M'traliel Zralensa:

M.tra.lee.ell Zee.ra.len.sah



Mrevan:

Mm.ruh.van



Njesera:

En.djuh.say.rah



N'rellia:

N.rell.lee.ah



Olterian:

Oh.L.tear.E.an



Saehressa:

Sigh.ah.ress.ah



Serada:

Sir.rah.da



Sjre Jlrasre:

S.jer.ray Jas.sell.rass.er



Sk'vra Kjurha:

Skeh.var.rah Kah.jour.rah



Vreloran:

Vreh.lore.an



Zreltian:

Zzer.L.she.an



♣ people and places

  • 51 Pegasi
  • Aailhra
  • Aalon
  • Addison
  • AGA
  • Alicia Ellenwood
  • Anita
  • arlkhala
  • Arrhazon
  • Arrhazon College
  • Arrhka
  • Arrkarhara
  • Barbara Millwood
  • Bill Green
  • Boston
  • Brellian
  • Casey
  • Chsensera
  • city north
  • Cshrehyi
  • David
  • Djellrin
  • Dolores
  • Dottie Salston
  • Dr Elsrensia K’avahra
  • Dr. Ed Ellsworth
  • Dr. Wrehsx
  • E'sphara
  • Empo
  • Ensign Sserhara
  • Gl'nsiel
  • Henry Smithson
  • Hrilleae
  • I’Isahra M’lensa
  • J'saera
  • Jahrae
  • Jamila Karenga
  • J’luhre Forest Preserve
  • Jesnsera
  • Jredvarha City
  • Keene
  • Khaehala
  • Khahishra
  • Kukaeshra
  • Kyielra
  • Lajxa R’chr
  • llhaesa
  • Lzrehae
  • M'sela J'serhn
  • M'traliel
  • Marcia Paang
  • Mark Cahill
  • Mrevan
  • N'rellia
  • N'rellia Naturally
  • Nenseru Woods
  • Njesera
  • North 41
  • Old City
  • Olterian
  • reiki
  • Ronnie
  • Saehressa
  • Sara Beth
  • SEQ
  • Serada
  • Sjre Jlrasre
  • Sk'vra
  • southeast quadrant
  • Susan Woodward
  • Sylvia Washington
  • Tim
  • V'aesza
  • Vicki
  • Vreloran
  • Y'sre School of Music
  • Zreltian

♣ who’s who

Aalon:

Chief Curator of N’rellia Conservatory of Music



Aailhra:

Arrhazonan equivalent to Reiki



Addison:

Ronnie and llhaesa’s eldest daughter



Arrhazon:

llhaesa & Jahrae home world



Brellian:

Unstable Arrhazonan dictator



Chsensera:

Child friend of llhaesa and Jahrae



Cshrehyi T’yaeli:

llhaesa’s brother



Djellrin Khentavra:

Jahrae’s dad



E'sphara:

Owner of E’sphara Artist Colony



Gl’nsiel Frehsan:

Chief of Government after Brellian



Hrilleae Khentavra:

Jahrae’s mum



Admiral I'Isahra M'lensa:

Commander of Equality



Jahrae T'srha Khentavra:

llhaesa’s wife, and Ambassador



Jesnsera Sserhara:

hero of revolution who saves Jahrae



Ensign Jesnsera Sserhara:

daughter of Jahrae’s friend & wife of Chsensera



Elsrensia K’avahra:

Physician and revolutionary



Khaehala:

Chsensera’s mum



Khahishra:

llhaesa’s college roommate and M’traliel’s wife



Kyielra:

victim of murder, witnessed by young Jahrae



llhaesa ahrella t'yaeli:

musician and leader of two worlds



Lzrehae N’seseh:

Government employee and discoverer of important documents



M'sela J'serhn:

llhaesa’s college advisor



M'traliel Zralensa:

friend of llhaesa, and first lover



Mrevan:

llhaesa’s dad



Njesera:

Head of government records department



N'rellia:

Llhaesa’s college and most prestigious school on Arrhazon



Olterian:

Concert promoter



Saehressa:

llhaesa’s mum



Serada:

Ronnie and llhaesa’s youngest daughter



Sjre Jlrasre:

Café owner



Sk'vra Kjurha:

llhaesa nemesis and future hero of revolution



Vreloran:

government technician who helps llhaesa



Zreltian:

Former Arrhazonan Chief of Government



♣ historical tales

  • February 2009
  • January 2009
  • December 2008
  • November 2008
  • October 2008
  • September 2008
  • August 2008
  • July 2008
  • June 2008

♣ Feedburner


Subscribe in a reader


♣ CC License

Worlds Undone

by llhaesa t'yaeli



Is licensed under a

Creative Commons Attribution-No Derivative Works 3.0 United States License.

Based on a work at http://llhaesa.org/.

♣ CC Licence II

Worlds Undone

by llhaesa



Is licensed under a

Creative Commons Attribution-No Derivative Works 3.0 United States License.

Based on a work at llhaesa.wordpress.com.

Blog at WordPress.com. Theme: Customized Chateau by Ignacio Ricci.