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worlds undone

worlds undone

Category Archives: Arrhazon College

CCXLVI – caper, cavort, and frolic

24 Wednesday Dec 2008

Posted by nelle in Arrhazon College, Jahrae, llhaesa

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blog fiction, blog novels, blog stories, blog-books, creative writing, e books, e novels, eBooks, feminism, feminist, feminist fiction, feminist literature, feminist stories, feminist writing, fiction, lesbian, lesbian books, lesbian fiction, lesbian literature, lesbian stories, lesbian writing, lesbian-novels, literature, online books, online novels, original fiction, story telling, writing

“I think we should go!” Jahrae protested to llhaesa.

Llhaesa hesitated, weighing her inclination against Jahrae’s wish. Before she could formulate a response, Jahrae elaborated and expounded on her point. “You are always on stage, llhaesa. You never have a chance to enjoy a performance, or to move with a performance.

You do not incorporate choreography into your performances. Here is your chance to go out, not worry about pleasing an audience, and… dance.”

With Jahrae hinting that her performances lacked choreography, llhaesa feigned hurt, and her right hand moving to cover her heart. “I am mortally wounded by your piercing pronouncement of judgement, my dearest love.

I pivot, divot, and dither on stage, moving as the music hails and takes me. I will leave the schematic dancing to those better suited to pre-arranged performances of the feet.”

“You resist my well-intentioned effort to have you recognise your prowess afoot. You spin and play, leaving the mouths of your audience agape. Yet you resist my urging to take to your feet and dance for an evening?”

Jahrae started this discussion by mentioning there was a dance at Arrhazon College that night, and that she wished to attend. When llhaesa resisted this call, Jahrae chose to push the issue, prompting the current exchange.

They sat at the breakfast nook in the kitchen, munching on salt laden g’rsha and a concocted dip of spices and vegetables, each nursing a mug of beer as accompaniment.

“I resist because I am not of a mood to leave and dance this evening, Jahrae.”

“Yes, I know, you cramp and do not feel well. It is my experience getting out and moving leaves me feeling better. And it would help if you actually made use of the menstruation suppressant you are prescribed, llhaesa.”

“I forgot; so shoot me. Please.”

Jahrae laughed, precluded from going further with her remarks by llhaesa’s self-deprecating comment. Instead, she stood up and ran her hand haphazardly through llhaesa’s hair, teasing it into a hodgepodge of chaotic frizzies.

“Thanks. Undoubtedly my appearance now suits my mood.”

“You would like the dance once we got there. For once, I would like to interact with you on my stomping grounds. Please?”

Llhaesa threw her hands in the air, offering a surrendering ‘Oh, what the hell. I will go. And then you can shoot me – at least you will be happy in my loss subsequent to such an endeavour.”

Jahrae’s eyes lit up, at once accepting llhaesa’s change of heart, yet now feeling guilty for prying her away from a place of comfort when feeling not quite up to par. “Thank you. I promise, if after an hour you still feel lousy, we will return home.”

“There is another element, Jahrae. We each have had two beers. It is public transportation for us tonight.

If I am to go, please excuse me; a hot bath awaits and carries my name.”

Jahrae stayed and tidied up the kitchen while llhaesa drew a bath, adding various special salts and oils that suited her fancy. When the spacious bath – one created of fine crafted tiles, with the overall pattern designed by Jahrae – steamed and carried a fine froth of bubbles, llhaesa disrobed, tentatively slid her toes in to sample the water, found it irresistibly tempting, and sank near the whole of her body under the bubbly surface.

Not quite satisfied with this near total immersion, llhaesa sank further into the bath, placing her head completely underwater. She swished her hair about, and after a half minute, raised her head above the waterline. Reaching out of the bath, she depressed a flat surface, water safe switch, and hidden jets within the bath roared to life. Llhaesa adjusted the control to the desired speed and force, and then settled back to enjoy.

“Ahhhhhh, that feels so good!” llhaesa called out to no one, thoroughly relishing the moment. Llhaesa’s mind drifted off into pleasant thoughts, and all concept of time faded off with these thoughts.

Jahrae appeared in the doorway, seeing her temporarily indolent partner contentedly enjoying the swirling and steaming liquid. Jahrae again felt guilty, but if they did not leave soon, the opportunity would be lost. Llhaesa had soaked for an hour; it was time to ready. She walked over and shut down the jets.

Llhaesa’s eyes flickered open, carrying her mind back to active awareness. “I take it I have overstayed my quality time with the bath. No need to marshal me to readiness, I am on my way.”

Jahrae, restored to playfulness by llhaesa’s willing concession, teased, “On your way? While I savour and desire what stands before my yearning eyes in this moment, I would prefer you fully clothe before we embark, llhaesa. After all, we are not at E’sphara’s mythical au natural lake you claim actually exists and frequent when there, this is a college campus, where propriety and decorum are rules we must live by. Shall I dress you, m’lady, or shall you self tend to your evening wear?”

“Evening wear? Whoa, wait a minute. You said nothing about evening wear!”

“I merely invoke a figure of speech, ‘essa. Jeans and a top will do quite nicely.”

“That is still too dressy; how about hole strewn sweats and a tee?”

“You are impossible. Come on, ‘essa, lets go see to your clothing.” Jahrae teasingly walked llhaesa out of the master bath, into their adjacent bedroom, where she made a show of selecting jeans and a tee.

Far from demurring or actively seeking clothing on her own, llhaesa acceded to Jahrae’s selection. Having sufficiently towelled off, she dressed, then began the task of seeing to a more formidable challenge, drying her hair sufficiently so that they could head out. Leaving it semi-wet caused it to curl more than usual, an appearance that drove Jahrae wild with desire. Jahrae shut off the drier, determined to see it curl. “Let’s go.”

Llhaesa pulled a knowing face – knowing her partner preferred her wilder look with untamed hair. Within ten minutes, they were on public livery, headed for Arrhazon College, a forty-minute ride.

Arriving at the student gathering hall where the dance was held, the newly arriving couple found the place near full of participants, though they managed to find one empty table near the back and towards a corner of the seating area. The music of the live band throbbed in their ears, calling the energy-laden students to the floor to expend that energy.

Claiming their table, the partners bounced back up and headed for the dance floor. Llhaesa began reluctantly, her heart not quite finding a wish to grab on and ride the musical wave. By the middle of the second song, something within found purchase with the music, and llhaesa felt better than she had all day.

Jahrae noticed the sudden change in her partner’s mood, the change reflected in the shift from lackadaisical and half-hearted dancing to fully into the endeavour. As Jahrae well knew, llhaesa fully engaged and dancing to the music was a sight to see.

Taller than most of the students on hand, llhaesa was clearly visible to most in the hall. Add in her overall attractiveness and that most of those in attendance knew who llhaesa was, and people in the seating area actively began to take notice and watch.

Jahrae and llhaesa danced through a dozen songs before taking a break. Now overheated from dancing, they relished the prospect of feeling the circulating air generated by the numerous fans that were located around the seating area. Returning to what they thought was their table, the couple found two men seated at their table, their bags tossed to the floor.

“Excuse me,” Llhaesa politely spoke. “We were sitting here; those are our things you put on the floor.”

The two men looked at Jahrae and llhaesa and laughed; quite obviously buzzed. One of them continued laughing, but the second chose sarcasm. “It is our table now; those things were on the floor when we got here.”

“I see,” llhaesa replied. Jahrae saw the look on llhaesa’s face, and knew it would not take much more for llhaesa to react less kindly.

Before llhaesa could speak again, the man ratcheted up the confrontation. “We were just watching you on the dance floor, discussing how sizzling hot the two of you are. What do you say to us leaving, finding a quieter and more comfortable place, where we can um… get to know each other better?”

Another glance towards llhaesa, and Jahrae knew the threshold moved closer. She attempted a pre-emptive strike. “That is ok, llhaesa, why don’t we let them have the table?”

Emboldened by the initial exchange, the student was not about to let this matter end simply by the couple walking away. “We prefer to have you with us, we think it would be mutually satisfying.”

“Is this why you carelessly tossed our things to the floor?” llhaesa asked, her words spoken through increasingly clenched teeth.

“You are not very friendly, contrary to what people have told me.” The student replied. “I think you need a man to set you straight and teach you a lesson. One night with me, and you will forget all about this one,” he angrily replied, while nodding towards Jahrae. “You are a bit too uppity for my taste.”

Jahrae felt her anger rise. “She isn’t interested in men – or in you, thank you, sir.”

“That is because she never slept with a man quite like me. I will change her outlook, if only she come down off her high horse and visit with us mere mortals.”

While Jahrae spent the time worrying that llhaesa would react, as it turned out, it was Jahrae that reached for the three quarters full pitcher of beer in the middle of the table and dumped it over the student’s head, the amber liquid cascading down every side of the student, soaking a substantial portion of his clothing.

His companion burst into laughter at his friend’s wet misfortune, while the chatter around the periphery of the seating area quieted, now turning to see what occurred at the table with the beer soaked student.

The student reacted by grabbing his friend’s near full beer, and holding the mug, jerked it forward such that the contents splashed over Jahrae’s tee shirt, creating an immediate unintended revelation, given she went braless.

“Yes!” the two students called out in unison, high-fives accompanying their exclamation, while unabashedly staring at Jahrae’s barely covered breasts.

Llhaesa spotted throw pillows on the bay windows off to the side. An educated guess led her to suspect the pillows were down. Moving quickly before things got out of hand, she reached in her bag and pulled out something that she purposely kept hidden, walked over to one of the fans, and redirected it towards the table, while moving it closer. The student thought this move a concession, trying to dry him off.

Grabbing two of the pillows, llhaesa sliced them wide open, and using her hand to pull out the contents, and allowed the down to flow into the driving air of the fan. The down drifted through the air as if blowing snow, made easy grasp and attachment of the previously soaked student, and accumulated thickly across his face and shirt.

The room howled with laughter at the student’s feathery misfortune, and not enjoying this reaction, yelled out to his friend ‘let’s go!” and they stomped off for the exit, the bird-like student pulling off wet down as he went, leaving a trail in his wake.

Jahrae reclaimed the table, while llhaesa made her way to the bar and paid for the damage, adding a substantial sum more as a donation to the student activity centre.

Returning to the table with a pitcher of beer for she and Jahrae, Jahrae remarked, “I worried that you were going to drop that student, ‘essa. I could see it in your eyes; given how you felt awful earlier this evening, it seemed that moment grew perilously close. I was never more relieved to see you choose an alternate plan! That was beautiful!”

“To be honest, I thought you were about to tear into him, Jahrae; that is when I decided it was best to develop a quick plan. I will not attack another, not unless he struck at one of us. He is just some immature student who feels a sense of entitlement, embarrassed that he was exposed as the child he still is, and this exacerbated by alcohol and perhaps drugs.”

The evening unfolded uneventfully thereafter, the couple spending large segments of time upon the dance floor, both fully engaged and relishing the interaction. For once, llhaesa spent a night enjoying the benefits of a performance, not generating one.

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♣ raison d’être


Over the past seven months, writing the individual stories of llhaesa and Jahrae, as well as their common story, has taken a special place in my heart.

There are some elements, those with playful exchanges, or those where discussion is heavier, that grab hold of my emotions, sometimes even grab hold of my thoughts, weighing upon me during the day.

llhaesa’s story has been welling inside of me for some significant time in rough form. The story is a by-product of coping with gender dysphoria, of being a feminist and a lesbian, and dealing with all the issues related to being lgbt through my life, from closet to post-coming out; while finding – or perhaps stumbling - my way through.

Music is the catalyst, a translator of raw sensory information and feelings, that helps me take the cloud forming in my mind and shape it into story. Sometimes this is via the lyrics, other times through the melody, sometimes simply by way of the sound of an individual instrument.

Musical influences come from Delerium; Beth Orton; Dar Williams; Joan Armatrading; Sarah McLachlan; Tori Amos; Natalie Merchant; Heather Nova; Tracy Chapman; Linda Perry; Alanis Morissette; Bruce Springsteen; Brooke White; Roxy Music; and many others.

There is no order to the posting of story elements or in writing them; each is posted randomly in time, of character, of place - much like how we might share stories from our lives with another. There are times when I will string together elements, and that pattern is evident in the rescue of llhaesa and the subsequent reunion.

Most of the novel is told via a narrator; with one exception. Writing llhaesa’s last day from her perspective - what she experiences, what she sees unfold around her, how she views and reacts to these things – seemed more compelling and interesting. I added one final element to this that actually is not of her last day on Arrhazon, but in her coming out here.

There are six posts told from llhaesa’s real time experience. These story elements (in her words I-VI) are the most interesting and fun to write, as well as the most emotionally draining. As I write this, 29 posts remain in book one, and the last ten have proven the most demanding emotionally.

Some of the story involves an element of science fiction, necessary to bridge the connection between the two worlds, the disconnects, the reconnects. It is not my intent to fashion a tale of science fiction, and the parts that touch on it will remain an essential minimum. The true intent is to share a humanist and feminist story, one where two worlds struggle to find their way to gender equality. The main protagonists are lesbian, and we get to see where at least on one world, this is no issue. Our world can have issue with us, and in this story, one gets to watch as both worlds find their way to creating more accepting and equal societies. The next book will find llhaesa facing this issue square on.

The story consists of 300 individual elements, which when collectively read forms a story of book length. As written currently and displayed on the blog, this is a rough draft; changes will likely be made over time to already published elements.

This is Book One, as what follows post 300 will best be framed into its own book. The second will address issues that will be at once interesting and challenging to explore and contemplate - building upon the story told in Book One. Llhaesa, drawing upon idealism, optimism, and an incredible ability to motivate, will tackle issues in ways I believe most all of us in the lesbian community would wish to see unfold in actuality. If nothing else, the story allows us to get lost in fantasy for a while.

While the title is ‘world’s undone,' this is really the life story of and the results triggered by an incredibly talented musician and activist. Llhaesa refuses to sit idly by while gender discrimination harms the women of her world and freedom is lost on one world, paying a terrible price for her effort. When she resurfaces here, now it is our turn to face her challenges to a world resulting from her unrelenting vision and dreams.

Jahrae, while prominent throughout the story, is sort of the unsung hero, the person who grows through the story to become a formidable presence in her own right. This is by design, and her growth is a perfect match to llhaesa, who needs someone to challenge and inspire her to new learning, to new creativity.

As I wrote the story, note that I originally did not plan on having the children parented by Jahrae, Ronnie, and llhaesa. Initially my intent was for friction to build, to show that sometimes we run into difficulty seeing eye to eye with our spouses. In the end, I could not do this, for my idealism and optimism, of trying to craft something as it should be, got in the way.

nelle

♣ say that again?

Aalon:

A.ah.lawn



Aailhra:

A.yul.har.rah



Arrhazon:

Are.ha zawn



Brellian:

Brr.L.lee.an



Chsensera:

Cheh.sen.sear.rah



Cshrehyi:

Sess.ray.hee



Djellrin:

Dee.jell.er.in



E'sphara:

E.ss.far.ruh



Gl’nsiel Frehsan:

Jellen.sheel Fray.shawn



Hrilleae:

Ha.rill.ee.ay



I'Isahra M'lensa:

I.ih.sah.rah Mah.len.sah



Jahrae T'srha Khentavra:

Ja.ha.ray Teh.share.ahh Ka.hen.tahv.rah



Jesnsera Sserhara:

Ja.ess.en.sear.ah Say.sear.ahh



Elsrensia K’avahra:

L.sir.rent.sha Kah.hah.vair.ah



Khaehala:

Kay.ha.la



Khahishra:

Ka.ha.heesh.ruh



Kyielra:

Ka.E.I'll.ra



llhaesa ahrella t'yaeli:

lie yay sah are.ha.rell.la tay.lye



Lzrehae N’seseh:

Lah.zer.ra.hay N.sha.say



M'sela J'serhn:

Mah.sell.ahh Jay.sehr.hen



M'traliel Zralensa:

M.tra.lee.ell Zee.ra.len.sah



Mrevan:

Mm.ruh.van



Njesera:

En.djuh.say.rah



N'rellia:

N.rell.lee.ah



Olterian:

Oh.L.tear.E.an



Saehressa:

Sigh.ah.ress.ah



Serada:

Sir.rah.da



Sjre Jlrasre:

S.jer.ray Jas.sell.rass.er



Sk'vra Kjurha:

Skeh.var.rah Kah.jour.rah



Vreloran:

Vreh.lore.an



Zreltian:

Zzer.L.she.an



♣ people and places

  • 51 Pegasi
  • Aailhra
  • Aalon
  • Addison
  • AGA
  • Alicia Ellenwood
  • Anita
  • arlkhala
  • Arrhazon
  • Arrhazon College
  • Arrhka
  • Arrkarhara
  • Barbara Millwood
  • Bill Green
  • Boston
  • Brellian
  • Casey
  • Chsensera
  • city north
  • Cshrehyi
  • David
  • Djellrin
  • Dolores
  • Dottie Salston
  • Dr Elsrensia K’avahra
  • Dr. Ed Ellsworth
  • Dr. Wrehsx
  • E'sphara
  • Empo
  • Ensign Sserhara
  • Gl'nsiel
  • Henry Smithson
  • Hrilleae
  • I’Isahra M’lensa
  • J'saera
  • Jahrae
  • Jamila Karenga
  • J’luhre Forest Preserve
  • Jesnsera
  • Jredvarha City
  • Keene
  • Khaehala
  • Khahishra
  • Kukaeshra
  • Kyielra
  • Lajxa R’chr
  • llhaesa
  • Lzrehae
  • M'sela J'serhn
  • M'traliel
  • Marcia Paang
  • Mark Cahill
  • Mrevan
  • N'rellia
  • N'rellia Naturally
  • Nenseru Woods
  • Njesera
  • North 41
  • Old City
  • Olterian
  • reiki
  • Ronnie
  • Saehressa
  • Sara Beth
  • SEQ
  • Serada
  • Sjre Jlrasre
  • Sk'vra
  • southeast quadrant
  • Susan Woodward
  • Sylvia Washington
  • Tim
  • V'aesza
  • Vicki
  • Vreloran
  • Y'sre School of Music
  • Zreltian

♣ who’s who

Aalon:

Chief Curator of N’rellia Conservatory of Music



Aailhra:

Arrhazonan equivalent to Reiki



Addison:

Ronnie and llhaesa’s eldest daughter



Arrhazon:

llhaesa & Jahrae home world



Brellian:

Unstable Arrhazonan dictator



Chsensera:

Child friend of llhaesa and Jahrae



Cshrehyi T’yaeli:

llhaesa’s brother



Djellrin Khentavra:

Jahrae’s dad



E'sphara:

Owner of E’sphara Artist Colony



Gl’nsiel Frehsan:

Chief of Government after Brellian



Hrilleae Khentavra:

Jahrae’s mum



Admiral I'Isahra M'lensa:

Commander of Equality



Jahrae T'srha Khentavra:

llhaesa’s wife, and Ambassador



Jesnsera Sserhara:

hero of revolution who saves Jahrae



Ensign Jesnsera Sserhara:

daughter of Jahrae’s friend & wife of Chsensera



Elsrensia K’avahra:

Physician and revolutionary



Khaehala:

Chsensera’s mum



Khahishra:

llhaesa’s college roommate and M’traliel’s wife



Kyielra:

victim of murder, witnessed by young Jahrae



llhaesa ahrella t'yaeli:

musician and leader of two worlds



Lzrehae N’seseh:

Government employee and discoverer of important documents



M'sela J'serhn:

llhaesa’s college advisor



M'traliel Zralensa:

friend of llhaesa, and first lover



Mrevan:

llhaesa’s dad



Njesera:

Head of government records department



N'rellia:

Llhaesa’s college and most prestigious school on Arrhazon



Olterian:

Concert promoter



Saehressa:

llhaesa’s mum



Serada:

Ronnie and llhaesa’s youngest daughter



Sjre Jlrasre:

Café owner



Sk'vra Kjurha:

llhaesa nemesis and future hero of revolution



Vreloran:

government technician who helps llhaesa



Zreltian:

Former Arrhazonan Chief of Government



♣ historical tales

  • February 2009
  • January 2009
  • December 2008
  • November 2008
  • October 2008
  • September 2008
  • August 2008
  • July 2008
  • June 2008

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♣ CC License

Worlds Undone

by llhaesa t'yaeli



Is licensed under a

Creative Commons Attribution-No Derivative Works 3.0 United States License.

Based on a work at http://llhaesa.org/.

♣ CC Licence II

Worlds Undone

by llhaesa



Is licensed under a

Creative Commons Attribution-No Derivative Works 3.0 United States License.

Based on a work at llhaesa.wordpress.com.

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