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worlds undone

worlds undone

Category Archives: Barbara Millwood

CCLXXXI – music, news, and opinion

18 Sunday Jan 2009

Posted by nelle in Addison, Alicia Ellenwood, Arrhazon, Arrkarhara, Barbara Millwood, David, Dottie Salston, Dr Elsrensia K’avahra, Jahrae, llhaesa, Marcia Paang, Ronnie, Serada, Vicki

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Their assiduous and fervid day began precisely at llhaesa’s proclaimed time, with the down-flyers gathered in the waiting room of the ship’s massive hangar.

Llhaesa, Jahrae, Elsrensia, and Ronnie would make the trip alone, their first flight unaccompanied by one of the ship’s crew. The grandmothers would oversee the children, from class time through bedtime, just in case the four industrious voyageurs, with their multitude of guests, were not back on board at that time.

Boarding Chekresu, Jahrae saw to closing, sealing, and pressurising the craft, whilst llhaesa ran a pre-flight check. The wide array of instrumentation indicated the craft ready for depressurisation of the hangar, but llhaesa waited for actual confirmation from Jahrae before requesting this next step.

“Are you nervous, Ronnie?” Jahrae asked, in reality teasing llhaesa.

Seeing Jahrae’s playful expression, Ronnie fell in step with the teasing. “I have second thoughts, Jahrae. Perhaps it is best that we get out and walk. Llhaesa can meet us there.”

“Aren’t you guys’ funny?” llhaesa shot back at them, adding, “Of course, if you continue to tease while I attempt to pilot this craft, you might find us landing on the moon, instead of in Tampa.”

Jahrae groaned. “That is actually our fear, llhaesa. Now you are certain you have gained certification, right?”

“You saw my certification, Jahrae. Remember, there is return flight, of which I will be a passenger, not pilot.”

“Only if we land in one piece, and Jahrae, Ronnie, and I have doubts on the likelihood of this occurrence!” Elsrensia tossed in.

“Three against one, this is most certainly unfair. Undoubtedly, on the return, you will speak of Jahrae’s mastery of the controls, the smoothness of our flight, the beauty of her landing, and the confidence you felt throughout! Just you wait, Elsrensia and Ronnie. Both of you, as well as my dear wife, are apparently pre-destined for the oubliette of my soul!”

In reality, Ronnie, Elsrensia, and Jahrae had total confidence in llhaesa’s ability to fly the craft, as did llhaesa in their ability. Such was the closeness amongst llhaesa, Ronnie, and Jahrae that the usual banter between llhaesa and Jahrae had acquired a third participant, though Ronnie had yet to master the nuances of how they used words and language as their implement of choice in jousting. Elsrensia, still getting up to speed on things, loomed on the outside, as another who would soon fit right in the tight knit family.

Llhaesa, in communication with Equality, awaited instructions to take the craft off the deck and move out into space. The ‘go’ instruction came seconds later. “Chekresu, hangar is depressurised and doors are open. You are clear to lift craft and leave the hangar.”

“Authorisation received and noted,” llhaesa replied in Arrhazonan, which Ronnie now clearly understood. “Power levels in desired range, Chekresu is ready to lift; and initiating – now.” The craft slowly lifted off the decking, and reaching the desired and instructed height, llhaesa signalled again, “forward thrust initiated.”

The craft moved through the doors at a speed that would measure an almost snail like twenty kilometres per hour. Once cleared of the hangar doors by one hundred metres, llhaesa increased forward speed to two hundred kph, and at a distance of ten kilometres, began a powered descent, the opposite of the traditional Arrkarharan space faring methodology, where craft slowed to enter the atmosphere, in effect dropping from orbit.

Llhaesa much preferred a power-type descent, in which she remained in control of Chekresu at all times, and allowing the use of higher speeds.

With the craft descending, her tension eased, though her concentration on task remained. Still, llhaesa engaged in conversation, expressing excitement over the various planned elements of their day.

Within fifteen minutes, she expertly landed the craft behind the Salston home, in the same location as on their first visit. Ronnie handled depressurisation, and once accomplished opened the door, allowing the waiting Salstons, including the twin boys, to climb aboard.

As soon as the newcomers settled in, llhaesa once again took to the skies, flying above normal aircraft routes. The advanced equipment aboard Chekresu served as their personal air traffic control system, superior to anything currently in use by world governments.

The flight northward from Tampa unfolded and completed in a spiffy ten minutes, resulting in a smooth landing on the lawn to the side of llhaesa and Jahrae’s new home, their new home but seventy metres from Ronnie’s home.

The passengers disembarked, and spread out across both properties, checking the substantial but mostly hidden improvements made by work teams from Equality. Each home was essentially intruder proof, and redundant safety systems protected all advanced technology.

Jahrae and llhaesa planned an addition to their new home, and they preferred to hire an Arrkarharan contractor to do the building, part of their wish to become part of the local community.

The addition would consist of a great room with cathedral ceiling, this to provide adequate space for a baby grand piano. A second room would house a small recording studio and one room for Addison, one for Serada. For the short time they would live in this location with the baby, once born, the couple planned to keep the child in their room.

The family toured through both homes, checking out the systems and improvements, chatting and laughing, talking of and imagining future improvements.

Short on time, Jahrae, using her new Arrkarharan based mobile, while having little idea what she ordered other than the descriptive provided by others, ordered pizza for the group from a local eatery, ordering several pizzas to meet the needs of the varied tastes and likes of the family.

Llhaesa, familiar with the Arrkarharan delicacy called pizza, chose for her and Jahrae, suggesting Jahrae order a large pizza with mushrooms, black olives, jalapeño peppers, and artichokes. Jahrae’s accent proved difficult for the order taker to understand, and so she repeated the request thrice before finally succeeding with the order.

After dinner, the adults pitched in to clean up, and this done, re-boarded Chekresu to head for Chicago, llhaesa again piloting. The group landed an hour before show time, and waiting staff greeted them warmly. Dottie, Vicki, David and the boys would watch from the audience, while llhaesa, Ronnie, Jahrae, and Elsrensia appeared on stage, llhaesa to perform later at centre stage.

Jamila hugged her friends, and invited the group to her spacious office until it was time to head into the studio. A half-hour before broadcast, they made their way into the studio, the Salstons taking to their front row seats.

At precisely two pm, the show began taping, for this would not be a live broadcast. Jamila greeted llhaesa, Jahrae, Ronnie, and Elsrensia, the former two on the far sofa, the latter two on the closest sofa to Jamila, who sat in a wing backed chair just off to the side, angled so she could speak to audience and guest alike.

“It is great to have you back again, llhaesa, Jahrae, and Ronnie! Special greetings to our new guest, Elsrensia!” Jamila began, once everyone found a seat. “Llhaesa you look well, in far better condition than when we last saw you.”

“I feel much better as well, Jamila. My ribs and jaw are healed, and the two teeth that had temporary implants are now regenerated, all thanks to Elsrensia.”

“Elsrensia, you are new to our stage,” Jamila spoke to her newest guest. “And you obviously worked wonders on llhaesa’s recovery. How long did healing take?”

“Approximately thirty hours in all.” Elsrensia replied.

“You just said ‘thirty hours.’ How could she heal so quickly?” Jamila asked.

“We have technology that facilitates rapid re-growth of cells, Jamila. Unfortunately, this equipment is not portable and is aboard ship. Perhaps one day we can make use of this technology here.”

The five chatted for a half hour, interrupted by two commercial breaks. After the second break, Jamila asked llhaesa to perform, and she readily agreed.

Llhaesa was ready to play, and would let both the music and her mood shape what followed. Walking confidently to the grand piano and keyboard waiting for her on centre stage, llhaesa sat upon the piano bench and drew her customary three deep breaths. Her arms lifted upward and backward, palms forward as she did so, all of this movement in harmony with her inrushing breath. Her arms came down on exhale, only to lift anew with a new breath.

Finished, her brain cleared and focused, llhaesa began to play. Uninhibited physically as she was when Jahrae first arrived, llhaesa’s fingers showed peerless dexterity and coordination.

Choosing to play a newly written song, llhaesa rocked the house, incorporating the electronic keyboard into her play three minutes into the song, this instrument offering an accenting and duelling contrast to the piano.

Llhaesa’s voice ascended above the instruments, reaching for lows, highs, and about everything in between. Llhaesa held notes, as if having no need to breathe, she changed inflection for emphasis, and her voice projected and soared, the combined instrument play and vocal performance creating a performance unique in the annals of recorded performance on this world.

At one point llhaesa lay down upon the piano bench and reached upward to the keys, playing unseeing and from below. In the last minute of play, llhaesa stood while she performed, moving in time with the music, spinning, and playing with her back to both instruments. She finished with a jump into the air in place, somersaulting and striking a hard final note while unfolding into an upright landing.

The audience loved it, rising as one to their feet, cheering, clapping, and chanting llhaesa’s name.

Llhaesa moved toward the stage edge, bowing and thanking the audience. “Thank you! Thank you!” The audience continued to cheer, and llhaesa felt her emotions stirring within. “You all are a wonderful audience, thank you!” llhaesa yelled out, the cheering finally tapering off and fading away.

“I am touched – and rather emotional – over your appreciation; please know I will treasure this moment through my life.

I wish to chat with you for a moment, if I may, if Jamila is willing.” Llhaesa looked toward where Jamila and her guests sat, receiving an enthusiastic go-ahead nod.

“In two weeks, my family will settle into life in your country, on your world, for the next fifteen months. We are grateful to President Ellenwood, Chief of Staff Paang, and Attorney General Millwood for the great kindnesses extended to us over the last few months.

We intend to prove ourselves worthy of such kindness in whatever way we can. Now I know some think that should mean immediate access to advanced technology, but we are not at a point where that is possible.

What I wish to do, what we wish to do, is work to change this, work to get the people of this world involved in working for a better world, one free of war and oppression, where equality is both law and practise.

From my perspective, all of us can do better; we can play a role in change. Where I see the most promise is with the women of this world, our abilities and outlook too long oppressed.

In order to achieve lasting results, we need everyone engaged and involved, putting forth ideas, discussing the options, choosing solutions.

It is not sufficient to talk change, or to throw our hands up and claim it is impossible to achieve meaningful change. The only acceptable course for us is to work for what we wish to achieve. If we fail, at least memory of our effort will comfort us. Perhaps we identify where we fail, and we try again, but we must start somewhere, and that starting point is now.

Before I rejoin everyone to chat, I wish to share a personal element from my life, a new development. I… am pregnant.”

As when she shared this on ship, an audible gasp rose from the audience. Even Jamila’s expression reflected pleasant surprise, wishing and anticipating congratulating llhaesa. For now, Jamila congratulated Jahrae, who simply and quietly uttered to Jamila, “Wait, she has more to share.”

Llhaesa smiled, first looking at the gathered group onstage, and then back out to the audience. “As you all know, I am a lesbian, and chose in vitro fertilisation as facilitating methodology. In this case, the fertilised egg is from Jahrae, fertilised with blood from Ronnie.

We decided that since we three parent our two girls, we should continue parenting as the three of us, though in terms of actual partners Jahrae and I are partners, while Ronnie and Elsrensia are partners. I suspect that our parenting group of three might one day be four.” As llhaesa said this, she looked directly at Elsrensia, her look signalling welcome into the family circle.

Elsrensia blushed at the mention and public pronunciation of her relationship with Ronnie, and she reached out with her hand to take Ronnie’s hand in hers.

Resuming her chat, llhaesa publicly thanked Elsrensia for her efforts in making llhaesa well. “There is more. Elsrensia oversaw hormone treatment prior to implantation, and she handled the process of fertilising Jahrae’s egg with incredible skill.

Elsrensia is from Arrhazon’s first family of medicine, and she gives honour to all in her family who have done so much in insuring the health of others.

I know for you of this planet, this is startling news, two women conceiving and a third carrying, but this is common practise on Arrhazon. I wish you to think of this not as a violation of the natural order of the universe, fashioned in terms of your particular beliefs, rather as something that can change the unnatural order of things that are not so nice.

What I mention here is also unfortunately true on Arrhazon, though I dearly hope to see evidence of much improvement upon my return. I speak of domestic violence and sexual assault, driven by power needs rooted in insecurity, framed by control.

In the past, some have used biology against us. We bear the brunt of reproduction, and through various societal mores, patriarchy boxed us in.

No longer is biology our limiting destiny. We turn this around, and we make biology our liberating option, not limiting destiny.

The option we chose is liberating. Most heterosexual couples would not make this choice, nor do I advocate that you consider our option as one better than another – it is not a better option. Instead, know the technology is available – and Elsrensia will work to facilitate this through respected institutions.

Perhaps our culture begins to change, begins to recognise that biology cannot control women, because… we have options.

Imagine us having confidence, not willing to endure domestic violence, because ours is a culture of options, options we are willing to consider and embrace.

You have a word for this – choice, though the word is often used rather narrowly. An added choice will soon be available, further empowering each of us.

Know the power each of you carries in your hearts, your minds, and your bodies. Know that we can overcome challenges together, if we believe in each other.

Part of the change for which I advocate includes gender equality, and it begins here. Will you join with me?”

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♣ raison d’être


Over the past seven months, writing the individual stories of llhaesa and Jahrae, as well as their common story, has taken a special place in my heart.

There are some elements, those with playful exchanges, or those where discussion is heavier, that grab hold of my emotions, sometimes even grab hold of my thoughts, weighing upon me during the day.

llhaesa’s story has been welling inside of me for some significant time in rough form. The story is a by-product of coping with gender dysphoria, of being a feminist and a lesbian, and dealing with all the issues related to being lgbt through my life, from closet to post-coming out; while finding – or perhaps stumbling - my way through.

Music is the catalyst, a translator of raw sensory information and feelings, that helps me take the cloud forming in my mind and shape it into story. Sometimes this is via the lyrics, other times through the melody, sometimes simply by way of the sound of an individual instrument.

Musical influences come from Delerium; Beth Orton; Dar Williams; Joan Armatrading; Sarah McLachlan; Tori Amos; Natalie Merchant; Heather Nova; Tracy Chapman; Linda Perry; Alanis Morissette; Bruce Springsteen; Brooke White; Roxy Music; and many others.

There is no order to the posting of story elements or in writing them; each is posted randomly in time, of character, of place - much like how we might share stories from our lives with another. There are times when I will string together elements, and that pattern is evident in the rescue of llhaesa and the subsequent reunion.

Most of the novel is told via a narrator; with one exception. Writing llhaesa’s last day from her perspective - what she experiences, what she sees unfold around her, how she views and reacts to these things – seemed more compelling and interesting. I added one final element to this that actually is not of her last day on Arrhazon, but in her coming out here.

There are six posts told from llhaesa’s real time experience. These story elements (in her words I-VI) are the most interesting and fun to write, as well as the most emotionally draining. As I write this, 29 posts remain in book one, and the last ten have proven the most demanding emotionally.

Some of the story involves an element of science fiction, necessary to bridge the connection between the two worlds, the disconnects, the reconnects. It is not my intent to fashion a tale of science fiction, and the parts that touch on it will remain an essential minimum. The true intent is to share a humanist and feminist story, one where two worlds struggle to find their way to gender equality. The main protagonists are lesbian, and we get to see where at least on one world, this is no issue. Our world can have issue with us, and in this story, one gets to watch as both worlds find their way to creating more accepting and equal societies. The next book will find llhaesa facing this issue square on.

The story consists of 300 individual elements, which when collectively read forms a story of book length. As written currently and displayed on the blog, this is a rough draft; changes will likely be made over time to already published elements.

This is Book One, as what follows post 300 will best be framed into its own book. The second will address issues that will be at once interesting and challenging to explore and contemplate - building upon the story told in Book One. Llhaesa, drawing upon idealism, optimism, and an incredible ability to motivate, will tackle issues in ways I believe most all of us in the lesbian community would wish to see unfold in actuality. If nothing else, the story allows us to get lost in fantasy for a while.

While the title is ‘world’s undone,' this is really the life story of and the results triggered by an incredibly talented musician and activist. Llhaesa refuses to sit idly by while gender discrimination harms the women of her world and freedom is lost on one world, paying a terrible price for her effort. When she resurfaces here, now it is our turn to face her challenges to a world resulting from her unrelenting vision and dreams.

Jahrae, while prominent throughout the story, is sort of the unsung hero, the person who grows through the story to become a formidable presence in her own right. This is by design, and her growth is a perfect match to llhaesa, who needs someone to challenge and inspire her to new learning, to new creativity.

As I wrote the story, note that I originally did not plan on having the children parented by Jahrae, Ronnie, and llhaesa. Initially my intent was for friction to build, to show that sometimes we run into difficulty seeing eye to eye with our spouses. In the end, I could not do this, for my idealism and optimism, of trying to craft something as it should be, got in the way.

nelle

♣ say that again?

Aalon:

A.ah.lawn



Aailhra:

A.yul.har.rah



Arrhazon:

Are.ha zawn



Brellian:

Brr.L.lee.an



Chsensera:

Cheh.sen.sear.rah



Cshrehyi:

Sess.ray.hee



Djellrin:

Dee.jell.er.in



E'sphara:

E.ss.far.ruh



Gl’nsiel Frehsan:

Jellen.sheel Fray.shawn



Hrilleae:

Ha.rill.ee.ay



I'Isahra M'lensa:

I.ih.sah.rah Mah.len.sah



Jahrae T'srha Khentavra:

Ja.ha.ray Teh.share.ahh Ka.hen.tahv.rah



Jesnsera Sserhara:

Ja.ess.en.sear.ah Say.sear.ahh



Elsrensia K’avahra:

L.sir.rent.sha Kah.hah.vair.ah



Khaehala:

Kay.ha.la



Khahishra:

Ka.ha.heesh.ruh



Kyielra:

Ka.E.I'll.ra



llhaesa ahrella t'yaeli:

lie yay sah are.ha.rell.la tay.lye



Lzrehae N’seseh:

Lah.zer.ra.hay N.sha.say



M'sela J'serhn:

Mah.sell.ahh Jay.sehr.hen



M'traliel Zralensa:

M.tra.lee.ell Zee.ra.len.sah



Mrevan:

Mm.ruh.van



Njesera:

En.djuh.say.rah



N'rellia:

N.rell.lee.ah



Olterian:

Oh.L.tear.E.an



Saehressa:

Sigh.ah.ress.ah



Serada:

Sir.rah.da



Sjre Jlrasre:

S.jer.ray Jas.sell.rass.er



Sk'vra Kjurha:

Skeh.var.rah Kah.jour.rah



Vreloran:

Vreh.lore.an



Zreltian:

Zzer.L.she.an



♣ people and places

  • 51 Pegasi
  • Aailhra
  • Aalon
  • Addison
  • AGA
  • Alicia Ellenwood
  • Anita
  • arlkhala
  • Arrhazon
  • Arrhazon College
  • Arrhka
  • Arrkarhara
  • Barbara Millwood
  • Bill Green
  • Boston
  • Brellian
  • Casey
  • Chsensera
  • city north
  • Cshrehyi
  • David
  • Djellrin
  • Dolores
  • Dottie Salston
  • Dr Elsrensia K’avahra
  • Dr. Ed Ellsworth
  • Dr. Wrehsx
  • E'sphara
  • Empo
  • Ensign Sserhara
  • Gl'nsiel
  • Henry Smithson
  • Hrilleae
  • I’Isahra M’lensa
  • J'saera
  • Jahrae
  • Jamila Karenga
  • J’luhre Forest Preserve
  • Jesnsera
  • Jredvarha City
  • Keene
  • Khaehala
  • Khahishra
  • Kukaeshra
  • Kyielra
  • Lajxa R’chr
  • llhaesa
  • Lzrehae
  • M'sela J'serhn
  • M'traliel
  • Marcia Paang
  • Mark Cahill
  • Mrevan
  • N'rellia
  • N'rellia Naturally
  • Nenseru Woods
  • Njesera
  • North 41
  • Old City
  • Olterian
  • reiki
  • Ronnie
  • Saehressa
  • Sara Beth
  • SEQ
  • Serada
  • Sjre Jlrasre
  • Sk'vra
  • southeast quadrant
  • Susan Woodward
  • Sylvia Washington
  • Tim
  • V'aesza
  • Vicki
  • Vreloran
  • Y'sre School of Music
  • Zreltian

♣ who’s who

Aalon:

Chief Curator of N’rellia Conservatory of Music



Aailhra:

Arrhazonan equivalent to Reiki



Addison:

Ronnie and llhaesa’s eldest daughter



Arrhazon:

llhaesa & Jahrae home world



Brellian:

Unstable Arrhazonan dictator



Chsensera:

Child friend of llhaesa and Jahrae



Cshrehyi T’yaeli:

llhaesa’s brother



Djellrin Khentavra:

Jahrae’s dad



E'sphara:

Owner of E’sphara Artist Colony



Gl’nsiel Frehsan:

Chief of Government after Brellian



Hrilleae Khentavra:

Jahrae’s mum



Admiral I'Isahra M'lensa:

Commander of Equality



Jahrae T'srha Khentavra:

llhaesa’s wife, and Ambassador



Jesnsera Sserhara:

hero of revolution who saves Jahrae



Ensign Jesnsera Sserhara:

daughter of Jahrae’s friend & wife of Chsensera



Elsrensia K’avahra:

Physician and revolutionary



Khaehala:

Chsensera’s mum



Khahishra:

llhaesa’s college roommate and M’traliel’s wife



Kyielra:

victim of murder, witnessed by young Jahrae



llhaesa ahrella t'yaeli:

musician and leader of two worlds



Lzrehae N’seseh:

Government employee and discoverer of important documents



M'sela J'serhn:

llhaesa’s college advisor



M'traliel Zralensa:

friend of llhaesa, and first lover



Mrevan:

llhaesa’s dad



Njesera:

Head of government records department



N'rellia:

Llhaesa’s college and most prestigious school on Arrhazon



Olterian:

Concert promoter



Saehressa:

llhaesa’s mum



Serada:

Ronnie and llhaesa’s youngest daughter



Sjre Jlrasre:

Café owner



Sk'vra Kjurha:

llhaesa nemesis and future hero of revolution



Vreloran:

government technician who helps llhaesa



Zreltian:

Former Arrhazonan Chief of Government



♣ historical tales

  • February 2009
  • January 2009
  • December 2008
  • November 2008
  • October 2008
  • September 2008
  • August 2008
  • July 2008
  • June 2008

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♣ CC License

Worlds Undone

by llhaesa t'yaeli



Is licensed under a

Creative Commons Attribution-No Derivative Works 3.0 United States License.

Based on a work at http://llhaesa.org/.

♣ CC Licence II

Worlds Undone

by llhaesa



Is licensed under a

Creative Commons Attribution-No Derivative Works 3.0 United States License.

Based on a work at llhaesa.wordpress.com.

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