• chapters – book one
  • chapters – book two
  • nelle

worlds undone

worlds undone

Category Archives: Chsensera

CCLXXV – consortial affirmation

11 Sunday Jan 2009

Posted by nelle in Addison, Alicia Ellenwood, Anita, Arrhazon, Arrkarhara, Barbara Millwood, Chsensera, Dr Elsrensia K’avahra, Ensign Sserhara, Hrilleae, I’Isahra M’lensa, Jahrae, Khaehala, Khahishra, llhaesa, M'traliel, Ronnie, Saehressa, Serada

≈ 1 Comment

Tags

blog novels, blog stories, blog-books, books, creative writing, e books, e novels, eBooks, feminism, feminist, feminist fiction, feminist literature, feminist stories, feminist writing, fiction, lesbian, lesbian books, lesbian fiction, lesbian literature, lesbian stories, lesbian writing, lesbian-novels, literature, online books, online novels, writing

The ship’s Arboretum looked at once natural and festive. Tastefully decorated with rearranged, well-placed flowers, as well as varying long, whimsically twisted and shaped swaths of fabric in varying shades of green, yellow, and rust, the Arboretum called out its readiness to play host to a truly special event.

The Arboretum was spacious for a garden on board a ship, a curved room that stretched 65 metres by 30, affording substantial space for growing greenery of practical and aesthetic purpose, while simultaneously affording the crew a more natural place for them to seek occasional refuge.

An artificial stream that in actuality looked like the real thing, coursed through the Arboretum, slowly meandering to give maximum water exposure in a minimum amount of space. Varying in width and depth to simulate a stream, its source was a three-meter high rock waterfall, while it seeped into cleansing and permeable sand at its terminus. In spots, the water reached two metres in depth, and three in width, making it potentially possible to swim in the stream.

Located on the top deck of the ship and to the opposite side from the bridge, except for the lounge and dining hall, it was the most popular place on the ship.

When Jesnsera rendered the decision to ‘semi-informal,’ the meaning was for attendees to dress down tastefully. The actual ceremony matched the spirit of semi-informal, where both partners planned to wear slacks and a top, unmatched in relation to each other. Comfort was their wish, and comfort was the reality.

Jahrae on the other hand, dressed formally, given her role as prelate administering and officially sanctioning the marriage. She chose what to those from Arrkarhara would be a tuxedo, solid black, with a white blouse, with matching red bowtie and cummerbund that was almost a perfect match for the elemental red streak in her hair.

While her original choice was burgundy, Jahrae quickly saw this colour clashed with her hair, and so she chose red in its stead. As for hair, she revisited Oalessa early in the afternoon, and Oalessa trimmed, curled, and re-coloured the front-streaks of red, rust, blonde, and white, while adding a permanent curl to the coloured streaks.

Simply, Jahrae was stunning, and in marked contrast to the more dressed down llhaesa who wore Arrkarharan black jeans that eagerly displayed legs with an almost one metre inseam. Llhaesa chose a silk, buttoned, and red top trimmed with black and white, her lone concession to the colours worn by Jahrae. The top flared at the bottom and was of hip length, which had a black, red, and white tie around at the waist. In contrast to Jahrae in black heels, llhaesa wore flat sandals that wove across the top of her feet, somewhat, but not completely, equalising the couple in height.

Llhaesa chose to keep her hair in dreads, as Oalessa, while intrigued with the dreadlock style, had no experience in how to form the tight braids. Ready to head out, the couple took stock of one another. Though dressed in markedly different ways, both were striking in appearance. They embraced and kissed, while their eyes were reluctant to break away from direct contact with the other.

At 3:15, they left their suite, heading for the top deck and the Arboretum. The first to arrive, llhaesa and Jahrae loved the rearranged décor and setting. For a couple who desired a natural setting to exchange vows, this was a wonderful approximation of the real thing.

Jesnsera arrived next, followed by Ronnie and the girls. Jesn was dressed in close accord with llhaesa, informally and comfortable but tastefully, with the expressed desire to ‘focus on why we are here.’

Chsensera arrived and surprised, wearing the Arrhazonan equivalent of a sun dress, with yellow, green, orange, white, and black colours displayed in a bright array reminiscent of springtime, and simple black, straight strap, sandals.

Ronnie, limited in wardrobe given most of their clothing was thirty six thousand kilometres below, worked with what she had with Serada, dressing her in slacks a top, while adding a flower to her hair. Addison, growing into adulthood, selected jeans and an exposed tee with open buttoned down shirt, while she curled her hair as almost a match for Jahrae.

By 3:50 all attending were present, including the Admiral, First Officer, and many other off-duty members of the ship’s crew. All told, some one hundred were now in the Arboretum.

Jahrae, chatting with llhaesa just along the stream, called it time to ready, with llhaesa heading off to get Chsensera, while Jahrae moved toward where the wedding party of four would stand.

The Admiral agreed to serve as accompaniment to Jesnsera, and so he joined llhaesa and Jesn moments after llhaesa found them.

Jesn and Admiral M’lensa left the Arboretum, crossing to a room opposite it along the corridor, while llhaesa and Chsensera left at the far end to a room near that entrance.

Once inside, llhaesa brought out the head covering or l’oaela that Jahrae brought on ship for sentimental reasons. Jahrae fortuitously brought the l’oaela that she and llhaesa wore, and now she would wear it again, while Chsensera would wear her chosen l’oaela in the ceremony.

Taking her l’oaela out of its protective covering, llhaesa briefly fell into nostalgia, picturing it upon her head almost seventeen years before. She gently unfolded the l’oaela, and loved that it retained its vivid colouring of green, grey, black, white, and red stripes and blocks, the pattern akin to an Arrhazonan version of an Arrkarharan Scottish tartan.

These were colours chosen by llhaesa as representative of her, just as Jahrae chose the colour pattern of navy blue, sky blue, grey, white, and yellow to represent her. The Admiral proved an apt student when llhaesa showed him how to place the l’oaela on Chsen’s head, though the Admiral was initially skittish.

Seventy centimetres in length, while fifteen centimetres wide, the partners would wear the garments straight across one’s head, and in this ceremony, Jahrae would fold each back in half, front to back at the beginning of the ceremony. At the end, Jahrae would remove both and braid them together with one of her choosing, to remain this way unless used in another ceremony, after which as per tradition, one would undo the braid prior to use, while the other would re-braid the l’oaela thereafter.

Jahrae undid the braid of their combined l’oaela for this ceremony, and so by tradition, llhaesa would redo the braid thereafter. Chsensera first placed llhaesa’s l’oaela on llhaesa, folding it backward and in half. Llhaesa then placed Chsen’s choice of yellow, green, orange, white, and black upon Chsen’s head, leaving it unfolded. Pattern was less important than colour combination in the Arrhazonan ceremony; pattern was purely for aesthetics, and llhaesa loved Chsen’s chosen colours.

Llhaesa walked around Chsen, making certain the l’oaela looked right from all sides. She then pinned it in place so it would not fall as Chsen walked.

Satisfied, she pinned it twice, gave another walk around, and pronounced Chsen ready. “One moment, Chsen, I will check on Jesnsera and the Admiral.’

Llhaesa made her way to the other room, found both ready, and returned to Chsen. Giving Chsen a hug and kiss, llhaesa pronounced her ‘ravishing and aglow,’ and then led the young woman out the door and to the Arboretum entrance.

Llhaesa saw the Admiral and Jesnsera in the distance, and seeing the Admiral nod, triggered the door mechanism to open. The door dutifully slid open, and ready to start, llhaesa began to sing. Chsensera led with llhaesa two steps behind, continuing to sing as they ceremoniously and slowly walked toward the front, where Jahrae awaited each party.

The Admiral joined in singing, his voice passable, though llhaesa carried the song with the Admiral’s voice more accompaniment. This was the only way he felt comfortable singing, and given the inherent power of llhaesa’s voice, the vocal tandem worked perfectly.

While Chsensera and llhaesa made their way up one aisle, Jesnsera and the Admiral matched their pace on the other, and each reached the two mini bridges spanning the artificial stream at virtually the same time. Jesn stumbled slightly on the bridge, but kept her balance.

Reaching Jahrae as the song ended, the timing in actuality matching the timing in practice, both Chsensera and Jesnsera stopped before Jahrae, briefly stealing a glance at and give a smile to, each other.

President Ellenwood, Barbara Millwood, and Marcia Paang sat in the first row on the left, with Ronnie, Elsrensia, and the girls. Saehressa, Hrilleae, Anita, M’traliel, and Khahishra sat in the row just behind them.

Llhaesa now stood alongside Chsensera to the right, while the Admiral stood alongside Jesnsera on the left. Jahrae began the actual ceremony by speaking to those gathered.

“Good afternoon friends and family of Chsensera and Jesnsera. Before I begin, please know that Chsen and Jesn request you join them after the ceremony in the ship’s lounge. Thank you.

For those of you from Arrkarhara, please know I will repeat my words in English throughout the ceremony.

The ceremony is brief, but ritualistic. You will see me take the l’oaela covering on their crowns, and delicately and neatly fold it backward and in half as we begin. At the conclusion, I will remove the folded l’oaela from their heads and braid them together with one I have chosen, to remain this way until worn again at a future date and in a future ceremony.

Now, I wish to take a few moments to share personal thoughts and observations from the interactions of llhaesa and me with Chsensera and Jesnsera.

Our first interaction with Chsen occurred in a lift to our flat. This enthusiastic three year old warmly called out a greeting to llhaesa, instantly making a friend. Llhaesa invited her and her mum to our flat, and soon she began to take piano lessons with llhaesa. The lessons were not for purposes of llhaesa establishing such a practise, but rather due to this adorable child, a child for which we looked for every excuse to interact therewith.

When llhaesa was lost, and llhaesa, I have yet to share this story with you, but Chsensera stood vigil in the rain, holding a candle. For eight hours, this little child stood outside our building with many others much older, resolved to honour what we all thought was our fallen loved one.

I will never forget that act, or the image frozen indelibly in my mind. Within a year, Chsen’s mum moved away from our building, and we lost contact for several years. I did not know Chsensera struggled with llhaesa’s loss, that she could no longer play piano as a direct result of llhaesa’s loss. Her mum sought out therapy to assist her child, but it was only on this mission, once learning llhaesa was alive, that Chsen could sit and again play the piano.

Two years ago, we reconnected, and when the time came for me to select the team to find llhaesa, I knew she was a logical and necessary choice.

Jesnsera, we met only recently, once on board this ship. We needed assistance, and you came highly recommended by Admiral M’lensa. I accepted his recommendation and brought you in to meet our team, saw you were a great match, and formally asked you to join us.

As we drew closer to Arrkarhara, it became apparent that diplomacy was your true avocation. Inside of a month, you learned and now fluently speak ten Arrkarharan languages.

While I was impressed with your work skill, you are personable and a great match for Chsen. Of course, your flirting came as initial surprise, though I spotted the telltale exchanges before your formal pronouncement of love. I saw more than you think!

When you asked me to preside over this ceremony, despite what my wife jokes about my power hunger, in reality, no greater honour comes to me than to stand here and make formal your marriage. I shall cherish this moment through my life. Thank you.

I turn now to our formal endeavour.” Jahrae stepped forward and to the front of Jesnsera, where she delicately and carefully folded the l’oaela backward and in half, smoothing out wrinkles from top to either side with the palms of her hands.

First looking Jesnsera directly in the eye, Jahrae bowed slightly, and then turned and took two steps toward her left, to stand in front of Chsensera. Reprising the act of folding, Jahrae finished by looking intently and deeply into Chsensera eyes, and bowed.

Jahrae returned to her original position, and turning to llhaesa she formally asked, “Llhaesa ahrella t’yaeli, is Chsensera Khaehala A’hrlae of willing mind and loving purpose, and does she wish to commit her life to be one with that of Jesnsera Ae’sha Sserhara?”

“Chsensera Khaehala A’hrlae is of willing mind and loving purpose, and is so willing to commit, Jahrae T’srha Khentavra.” Llhaesa formally and loudly proclaimed.

Jahrae turned toward the Admiral. “Admiral I’Isahra Keha M’lensa, is Jesnsera Ae’sha Sserhara of willing mind and loving purpose, and does she wish to commit her life to be one with that of Chsensera Khaehala A’hrlae?”

“Jesnsera Ae’sha Sserhara is of willing mind and loving purpose, and is so willing to commit, Jahrae T’srha Khentavra.” The Admiral confidently pronounced.

“Very well then, we shall proceed. Chsensera and Jesnsera requested llhaesa sing now, before the final exchanges.

Llhaesa, would you step forward and sing Forever, Wherever to honour our young couple?”

Caught up in the emotion of the ceremony, llhaesa stepped forward as Jahrae assumed her vacated position, and turning to the gathering, began to sing. Emotion riding on adrenaline coursed through her veins, and llhaesa, if possible, sang better than at any time in her life. Llhaesa looked at Jahrae, who nodded slightly, the only way she could visibly affirm llhaesa’s calling other than with the connectivity of their eyes, which locked together as soon as llhaesa began to sing.

Llhaesa broke this gaze to look toward first Jesnsera and then Chsensera, willing herself to honour and bless their commitment. Her voice echoed through the Arboretum, loud, emotional, confident, and perfect. Few in the gathering had dry eyes by the finish, and tissues were evident if one looked around.

Finished, llhaesa returned to her place alongside Chsensera, while Jahrae returned to the front.

Taking a moment to squelch her own tears, Jahrae resumed the ceremony. Chsensera, do you lovingly, willingly, and legally give of yourself to Jesnsera?”

“Yes, with honour, and of free will.”

Jesnsera, do you lovingly, willingly, and legally give of yourself to Chsensera?

“Yes, with honour, and of free will.”

Very well; from the power of tradition as well as official sanction of the Government of Arrhazon, you are married in the official records of our society, and in the view of all you know. Please remain where you stand as I braid the l’oaela into one.

Jahrae stepped toward Jesnsera and removed her l’oaela, and then stepped toward Chsensera, repeating the action. Jahrae stepped back to her place of officialdom and, remaining standing, began to braid the two with another colour pattern she chose days before. The action took several minutes, but when done, the intricate colours merged and separated repeatedly, symbolic of their intertwined lives and resulting new entity.

She stepped toward the newlyweds, and presented the braided l’oaela to them, with Chsen’s right hand held out to receive, along with Jesn’s left hand.

The couple bowed to llhaesa, bowed to the Admiral, turned and bowed to the gathering, and finally turning back toward Jahrae, bowed to her.

Dropping each to one knee, they thanked Jahrae for her grace and sanction, promising to honour their commitment to one another for a lifetime. Jahrae motioned for them to rise, and after doing so, they turned and walked slowly out of the Arboretum, together.

← Older posts
Newer posts →

♣ raison d’être


Over the past seven months, writing the individual stories of llhaesa and Jahrae, as well as their common story, has taken a special place in my heart.

There are some elements, those with playful exchanges, or those where discussion is heavier, that grab hold of my emotions, sometimes even grab hold of my thoughts, weighing upon me during the day.

llhaesa’s story has been welling inside of me for some significant time in rough form. The story is a by-product of coping with gender dysphoria, of being a feminist and a lesbian, and dealing with all the issues related to being lgbt through my life, from closet to post-coming out; while finding – or perhaps stumbling - my way through.

Music is the catalyst, a translator of raw sensory information and feelings, that helps me take the cloud forming in my mind and shape it into story. Sometimes this is via the lyrics, other times through the melody, sometimes simply by way of the sound of an individual instrument.

Musical influences come from Delerium; Beth Orton; Dar Williams; Joan Armatrading; Sarah McLachlan; Tori Amos; Natalie Merchant; Heather Nova; Tracy Chapman; Linda Perry; Alanis Morissette; Bruce Springsteen; Brooke White; Roxy Music; and many others.

There is no order to the posting of story elements or in writing them; each is posted randomly in time, of character, of place - much like how we might share stories from our lives with another. There are times when I will string together elements, and that pattern is evident in the rescue of llhaesa and the subsequent reunion.

Most of the novel is told via a narrator; with one exception. Writing llhaesa’s last day from her perspective - what she experiences, what she sees unfold around her, how she views and reacts to these things – seemed more compelling and interesting. I added one final element to this that actually is not of her last day on Arrhazon, but in her coming out here.

There are six posts told from llhaesa’s real time experience. These story elements (in her words I-VI) are the most interesting and fun to write, as well as the most emotionally draining. As I write this, 29 posts remain in book one, and the last ten have proven the most demanding emotionally.

Some of the story involves an element of science fiction, necessary to bridge the connection between the two worlds, the disconnects, the reconnects. It is not my intent to fashion a tale of science fiction, and the parts that touch on it will remain an essential minimum. The true intent is to share a humanist and feminist story, one where two worlds struggle to find their way to gender equality. The main protagonists are lesbian, and we get to see where at least on one world, this is no issue. Our world can have issue with us, and in this story, one gets to watch as both worlds find their way to creating more accepting and equal societies. The next book will find llhaesa facing this issue square on.

The story consists of 300 individual elements, which when collectively read forms a story of book length. As written currently and displayed on the blog, this is a rough draft; changes will likely be made over time to already published elements.

This is Book One, as what follows post 300 will best be framed into its own book. The second will address issues that will be at once interesting and challenging to explore and contemplate - building upon the story told in Book One. Llhaesa, drawing upon idealism, optimism, and an incredible ability to motivate, will tackle issues in ways I believe most all of us in the lesbian community would wish to see unfold in actuality. If nothing else, the story allows us to get lost in fantasy for a while.

While the title is ‘world’s undone,' this is really the life story of and the results triggered by an incredibly talented musician and activist. Llhaesa refuses to sit idly by while gender discrimination harms the women of her world and freedom is lost on one world, paying a terrible price for her effort. When she resurfaces here, now it is our turn to face her challenges to a world resulting from her unrelenting vision and dreams.

Jahrae, while prominent throughout the story, is sort of the unsung hero, the person who grows through the story to become a formidable presence in her own right. This is by design, and her growth is a perfect match to llhaesa, who needs someone to challenge and inspire her to new learning, to new creativity.

As I wrote the story, note that I originally did not plan on having the children parented by Jahrae, Ronnie, and llhaesa. Initially my intent was for friction to build, to show that sometimes we run into difficulty seeing eye to eye with our spouses. In the end, I could not do this, for my idealism and optimism, of trying to craft something as it should be, got in the way.

nelle

♣ say that again?

Aalon:

A.ah.lawn



Aailhra:

A.yul.har.rah



Arrhazon:

Are.ha zawn



Brellian:

Brr.L.lee.an



Chsensera:

Cheh.sen.sear.rah



Cshrehyi:

Sess.ray.hee



Djellrin:

Dee.jell.er.in



E'sphara:

E.ss.far.ruh



Gl’nsiel Frehsan:

Jellen.sheel Fray.shawn



Hrilleae:

Ha.rill.ee.ay



I'Isahra M'lensa:

I.ih.sah.rah Mah.len.sah



Jahrae T'srha Khentavra:

Ja.ha.ray Teh.share.ahh Ka.hen.tahv.rah



Jesnsera Sserhara:

Ja.ess.en.sear.ah Say.sear.ahh



Elsrensia K’avahra:

L.sir.rent.sha Kah.hah.vair.ah



Khaehala:

Kay.ha.la



Khahishra:

Ka.ha.heesh.ruh



Kyielra:

Ka.E.I'll.ra



llhaesa ahrella t'yaeli:

lie yay sah are.ha.rell.la tay.lye



Lzrehae N’seseh:

Lah.zer.ra.hay N.sha.say



M'sela J'serhn:

Mah.sell.ahh Jay.sehr.hen



M'traliel Zralensa:

M.tra.lee.ell Zee.ra.len.sah



Mrevan:

Mm.ruh.van



Njesera:

En.djuh.say.rah



N'rellia:

N.rell.lee.ah



Olterian:

Oh.L.tear.E.an



Saehressa:

Sigh.ah.ress.ah



Serada:

Sir.rah.da



Sjre Jlrasre:

S.jer.ray Jas.sell.rass.er



Sk'vra Kjurha:

Skeh.var.rah Kah.jour.rah



Vreloran:

Vreh.lore.an



Zreltian:

Zzer.L.she.an



♣ people and places

  • 51 Pegasi
  • Aailhra
  • Aalon
  • Addison
  • AGA
  • Alicia Ellenwood
  • Anita
  • arlkhala
  • Arrhazon
  • Arrhazon College
  • Arrhka
  • Arrkarhara
  • Barbara Millwood
  • Bill Green
  • Boston
  • Brellian
  • Casey
  • Chsensera
  • city north
  • Cshrehyi
  • David
  • Djellrin
  • Dolores
  • Dottie Salston
  • Dr Elsrensia K’avahra
  • Dr. Ed Ellsworth
  • Dr. Wrehsx
  • E'sphara
  • Empo
  • Ensign Sserhara
  • Gl'nsiel
  • Henry Smithson
  • Hrilleae
  • I’Isahra M’lensa
  • J'saera
  • Jahrae
  • Jamila Karenga
  • J’luhre Forest Preserve
  • Jesnsera
  • Jredvarha City
  • Keene
  • Khaehala
  • Khahishra
  • Kukaeshra
  • Kyielra
  • Lajxa R’chr
  • llhaesa
  • Lzrehae
  • M'sela J'serhn
  • M'traliel
  • Marcia Paang
  • Mark Cahill
  • Mrevan
  • N'rellia
  • N'rellia Naturally
  • Nenseru Woods
  • Njesera
  • North 41
  • Old City
  • Olterian
  • reiki
  • Ronnie
  • Saehressa
  • Sara Beth
  • SEQ
  • Serada
  • Sjre Jlrasre
  • Sk'vra
  • southeast quadrant
  • Susan Woodward
  • Sylvia Washington
  • Tim
  • V'aesza
  • Vicki
  • Vreloran
  • Y'sre School of Music
  • Zreltian

♣ who’s who

Aalon:

Chief Curator of N’rellia Conservatory of Music



Aailhra:

Arrhazonan equivalent to Reiki



Addison:

Ronnie and llhaesa’s eldest daughter



Arrhazon:

llhaesa & Jahrae home world



Brellian:

Unstable Arrhazonan dictator



Chsensera:

Child friend of llhaesa and Jahrae



Cshrehyi T’yaeli:

llhaesa’s brother



Djellrin Khentavra:

Jahrae’s dad



E'sphara:

Owner of E’sphara Artist Colony



Gl’nsiel Frehsan:

Chief of Government after Brellian



Hrilleae Khentavra:

Jahrae’s mum



Admiral I'Isahra M'lensa:

Commander of Equality



Jahrae T'srha Khentavra:

llhaesa’s wife, and Ambassador



Jesnsera Sserhara:

hero of revolution who saves Jahrae



Ensign Jesnsera Sserhara:

daughter of Jahrae’s friend & wife of Chsensera



Elsrensia K’avahra:

Physician and revolutionary



Khaehala:

Chsensera’s mum



Khahishra:

llhaesa’s college roommate and M’traliel’s wife



Kyielra:

victim of murder, witnessed by young Jahrae



llhaesa ahrella t'yaeli:

musician and leader of two worlds



Lzrehae N’seseh:

Government employee and discoverer of important documents



M'sela J'serhn:

llhaesa’s college advisor



M'traliel Zralensa:

friend of llhaesa, and first lover



Mrevan:

llhaesa’s dad



Njesera:

Head of government records department



N'rellia:

Llhaesa’s college and most prestigious school on Arrhazon



Olterian:

Concert promoter



Saehressa:

llhaesa’s mum



Serada:

Ronnie and llhaesa’s youngest daughter



Sjre Jlrasre:

Café owner



Sk'vra Kjurha:

llhaesa nemesis and future hero of revolution



Vreloran:

government technician who helps llhaesa



Zreltian:

Former Arrhazonan Chief of Government



♣ historical tales

  • February 2009
  • January 2009
  • December 2008
  • November 2008
  • October 2008
  • September 2008
  • August 2008
  • July 2008
  • June 2008

♣ Feedburner


Subscribe in a reader


♣ CC License

Worlds Undone

by llhaesa t'yaeli



Is licensed under a

Creative Commons Attribution-No Derivative Works 3.0 United States License.

Based on a work at http://llhaesa.org/.

♣ CC Licence II

Worlds Undone

by llhaesa



Is licensed under a

Creative Commons Attribution-No Derivative Works 3.0 United States License.

Based on a work at llhaesa.wordpress.com.

Blog at WordPress.com. Theme: Customized Chateau by Ignacio Ricci.