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worlds undone

worlds undone

Category Archives: city north

XLVII – connectivity

30 Wednesday Jul 2008

Posted by nelle in city north, Djellrin, Hrilleae, Jahrae, llhaesa

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creative writing, dyke, e books, e novels, eBooks, fiction, lesbian, lesbian fiction, literature, novels

Intentionally dependent upon public transportation, llhaesa journeyed to city north without event, arriving around the agreed upon time.

Hrilleae was first to the door, given Djellrin was in the kitchen, the result of having won the flip of a coin over which would make dinner. Jahrae had spent much of her day pretending meeting llhaesa would prove an everyday event. Now, with the first opportunity to test her practised resolve, she shifted into role, too cool to jump up and answer the door – even though inside, she sensed the universe conspired to arrange this meeting, to bring each of them face to face with each other.

As Hrilleae pulled the door opened inward, the universe’s stealth manipulation of time and space pulled the last barriers away from the Khentavra’s and llhaesa; fantasy moved toward reality.

Over the past couple of weeks, the names had begun to intertwine, those in the Khentavra family learning more about llhaesa, and for her part, llhaesa had come to learn just a bit about the Khentavra family, or at least about Djellrin and Hrilleae. She knew nothing of a daughter.

Giving her usual disarming smile, Hrilleae introduced herself to the arriving guest, then with voice and arm working in tandem, signalled with a motion of her arm for llhaesa to enter their home.

Llhaesa found herself inside a spacious great room, one with an open expanse stretching from floor to the inner limits of the ceiling. She took in the exposed wooden beams, took in the original works of art hanging tastefully on the off white walls, she took in the elegant but inviting open, wooden staircase winding its way to a second floor walkway leading to the bedrooms of the Khentavra home.

The furniture was designed and in place for use, not show, for living, not observing. This was a family that loved life, llhaesa immediately surmised. The only thing missing – and her mind always searched spaces for appropriate spots – was a baby grand piano.

The piano left her mind, replaced by a vivid image of the exotic, black haired, green-eyed young goddess sitting on the sofa. Her smile grew larger at the thought, and the image remade into one re-formed with the piano, of her singing, of her singing to the dark haired goddess with no name; as yet.

Llhaesa quickly shook that tangent out of her mind, silently self-berating for wandering off into such thoughts.

Hrilleae looked to Jahrae, already on her feet and moving toward the young musician, fantasy swirling in her mind, though not of a grand piano. No, Jahrae thought of Chekresu Bay and a sailboat, with llhaesa bikini clad and in her range of view as she expertly navigated and piloted the boat through the beautiful waters of the Bay.

Jahrae was not so willing to dismiss the fantasy, nor as able as llhaesa to shoo it away.

Hrilleae only caught a glimpse of the expression on her daughter’s face, but in looking directly at llhaesa, saw her expression turn to one of instant appreciation and intense interest. At the realisation, she turned away for a moment in order not to prematurely display her own smile – one not sparked into existence by the formal introduction, but rather due her awareness of the virtual spark or two she suspected leaped from llhaesa to her daughter and back again in those brief seconds.

Hrilleae was more observant and aware of Jahrae’s natural inclinations than her daughter thought – the signs were all there, and after all, she had over nineteen years to detect and process. Hrilleae stifled a burgeoning giggle, one formed from her own mental wanderings of a notion of llhaesa as daughter in law – or perhaps it was better described as a result of her own wishful and fantastical thinking?

She looked again, and this time, clearly saw their eyes locked, exploring, processing, searching for mutual interest.

Suddenly realising her silence was awkward, Hrilleae introduced Jahrae to llhaesa, then reversed the exchange of names. As that momentary burst of formality settled, she asked Jahrae to retrieve her father from the kitchen, which Jahrae dutifully and promptly set out to do.

That done, Hrilleae motioned for llhaesa to settle into the chair or sofa of her choice. Llhaesa intentionally chose an overstuffed chair facing the kitchen, the better to catch a healthy glimpse of Jahrae as she emerged, while Hrilleae chose the sofa setting perpendicular to the chair.

No sooner were they seated when Djellrin entered the room, Jahrae in step with her dad, although a step or two behind. Hrilleae and llhaesa once again took to their feet, and once again names exchanged.

Sensing his entrance might have been ill timed, Djellrin moved to right the awkwardness, asking if anyone wished for a glass of wine. Another at work had already advised that llhaesa was partial to a smooth white. The three responded politely and  affirmatively, sending him to their built in bar located just under the stairs to retrieve the refreshments.

Finally, the four moved toward their first substantive interaction, but the story of the night was not the concert llhaesa was there to discuss with the Khentavras, it was that she, and apparently their daughter, felt an immediate pull that could not be explained simply by physical interest. That was there, but there was a whole lot more.

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♣ raison d’être


Over the past seven months, writing the individual stories of llhaesa and Jahrae, as well as their common story, has taken a special place in my heart.

There are some elements, those with playful exchanges, or those where discussion is heavier, that grab hold of my emotions, sometimes even grab hold of my thoughts, weighing upon me during the day.

llhaesa’s story has been welling inside of me for some significant time in rough form. The story is a by-product of coping with gender dysphoria, of being a feminist and a lesbian, and dealing with all the issues related to being lgbt through my life, from closet to post-coming out; while finding – or perhaps stumbling - my way through.

Music is the catalyst, a translator of raw sensory information and feelings, that helps me take the cloud forming in my mind and shape it into story. Sometimes this is via the lyrics, other times through the melody, sometimes simply by way of the sound of an individual instrument.

Musical influences come from Delerium; Beth Orton; Dar Williams; Joan Armatrading; Sarah McLachlan; Tori Amos; Natalie Merchant; Heather Nova; Tracy Chapman; Linda Perry; Alanis Morissette; Bruce Springsteen; Brooke White; Roxy Music; and many others.

There is no order to the posting of story elements or in writing them; each is posted randomly in time, of character, of place - much like how we might share stories from our lives with another. There are times when I will string together elements, and that pattern is evident in the rescue of llhaesa and the subsequent reunion.

Most of the novel is told via a narrator; with one exception. Writing llhaesa’s last day from her perspective - what she experiences, what she sees unfold around her, how she views and reacts to these things – seemed more compelling and interesting. I added one final element to this that actually is not of her last day on Arrhazon, but in her coming out here.

There are six posts told from llhaesa’s real time experience. These story elements (in her words I-VI) are the most interesting and fun to write, as well as the most emotionally draining. As I write this, 29 posts remain in book one, and the last ten have proven the most demanding emotionally.

Some of the story involves an element of science fiction, necessary to bridge the connection between the two worlds, the disconnects, the reconnects. It is not my intent to fashion a tale of science fiction, and the parts that touch on it will remain an essential minimum. The true intent is to share a humanist and feminist story, one where two worlds struggle to find their way to gender equality. The main protagonists are lesbian, and we get to see where at least on one world, this is no issue. Our world can have issue with us, and in this story, one gets to watch as both worlds find their way to creating more accepting and equal societies. The next book will find llhaesa facing this issue square on.

The story consists of 300 individual elements, which when collectively read forms a story of book length. As written currently and displayed on the blog, this is a rough draft; changes will likely be made over time to already published elements.

This is Book One, as what follows post 300 will best be framed into its own book. The second will address issues that will be at once interesting and challenging to explore and contemplate - building upon the story told in Book One. Llhaesa, drawing upon idealism, optimism, and an incredible ability to motivate, will tackle issues in ways I believe most all of us in the lesbian community would wish to see unfold in actuality. If nothing else, the story allows us to get lost in fantasy for a while.

While the title is ‘world’s undone,' this is really the life story of and the results triggered by an incredibly talented musician and activist. Llhaesa refuses to sit idly by while gender discrimination harms the women of her world and freedom is lost on one world, paying a terrible price for her effort. When she resurfaces here, now it is our turn to face her challenges to a world resulting from her unrelenting vision and dreams.

Jahrae, while prominent throughout the story, is sort of the unsung hero, the person who grows through the story to become a formidable presence in her own right. This is by design, and her growth is a perfect match to llhaesa, who needs someone to challenge and inspire her to new learning, to new creativity.

As I wrote the story, note that I originally did not plan on having the children parented by Jahrae, Ronnie, and llhaesa. Initially my intent was for friction to build, to show that sometimes we run into difficulty seeing eye to eye with our spouses. In the end, I could not do this, for my idealism and optimism, of trying to craft something as it should be, got in the way.

nelle

♣ say that again?

Aalon:

A.ah.lawn



Aailhra:

A.yul.har.rah



Arrhazon:

Are.ha zawn



Brellian:

Brr.L.lee.an



Chsensera:

Cheh.sen.sear.rah



Cshrehyi:

Sess.ray.hee



Djellrin:

Dee.jell.er.in



E'sphara:

E.ss.far.ruh



Gl’nsiel Frehsan:

Jellen.sheel Fray.shawn



Hrilleae:

Ha.rill.ee.ay



I'Isahra M'lensa:

I.ih.sah.rah Mah.len.sah



Jahrae T'srha Khentavra:

Ja.ha.ray Teh.share.ahh Ka.hen.tahv.rah



Jesnsera Sserhara:

Ja.ess.en.sear.ah Say.sear.ahh



Elsrensia K’avahra:

L.sir.rent.sha Kah.hah.vair.ah



Khaehala:

Kay.ha.la



Khahishra:

Ka.ha.heesh.ruh



Kyielra:

Ka.E.I'll.ra



llhaesa ahrella t'yaeli:

lie yay sah are.ha.rell.la tay.lye



Lzrehae N’seseh:

Lah.zer.ra.hay N.sha.say



M'sela J'serhn:

Mah.sell.ahh Jay.sehr.hen



M'traliel Zralensa:

M.tra.lee.ell Zee.ra.len.sah



Mrevan:

Mm.ruh.van



Njesera:

En.djuh.say.rah



N'rellia:

N.rell.lee.ah



Olterian:

Oh.L.tear.E.an



Saehressa:

Sigh.ah.ress.ah



Serada:

Sir.rah.da



Sjre Jlrasre:

S.jer.ray Jas.sell.rass.er



Sk'vra Kjurha:

Skeh.var.rah Kah.jour.rah



Vreloran:

Vreh.lore.an



Zreltian:

Zzer.L.she.an



♣ people and places

  • 51 Pegasi
  • Aailhra
  • Aalon
  • Addison
  • AGA
  • Alicia Ellenwood
  • Anita
  • arlkhala
  • Arrhazon
  • Arrhazon College
  • Arrhka
  • Arrkarhara
  • Barbara Millwood
  • Bill Green
  • Boston
  • Brellian
  • Casey
  • Chsensera
  • city north
  • Cshrehyi
  • David
  • Djellrin
  • Dolores
  • Dottie Salston
  • Dr Elsrensia K’avahra
  • Dr. Ed Ellsworth
  • Dr. Wrehsx
  • E'sphara
  • Empo
  • Ensign Sserhara
  • Gl'nsiel
  • Henry Smithson
  • Hrilleae
  • I’Isahra M’lensa
  • J'saera
  • Jahrae
  • Jamila Karenga
  • J’luhre Forest Preserve
  • Jesnsera
  • Jredvarha City
  • Keene
  • Khaehala
  • Khahishra
  • Kukaeshra
  • Kyielra
  • Lajxa R’chr
  • llhaesa
  • Lzrehae
  • M'sela J'serhn
  • M'traliel
  • Marcia Paang
  • Mark Cahill
  • Mrevan
  • N'rellia
  • N'rellia Naturally
  • Nenseru Woods
  • Njesera
  • North 41
  • Old City
  • Olterian
  • reiki
  • Ronnie
  • Saehressa
  • Sara Beth
  • SEQ
  • Serada
  • Sjre Jlrasre
  • Sk'vra
  • southeast quadrant
  • Susan Woodward
  • Sylvia Washington
  • Tim
  • V'aesza
  • Vicki
  • Vreloran
  • Y'sre School of Music
  • Zreltian

♣ who’s who

Aalon:

Chief Curator of N’rellia Conservatory of Music



Aailhra:

Arrhazonan equivalent to Reiki



Addison:

Ronnie and llhaesa’s eldest daughter



Arrhazon:

llhaesa & Jahrae home world



Brellian:

Unstable Arrhazonan dictator



Chsensera:

Child friend of llhaesa and Jahrae



Cshrehyi T’yaeli:

llhaesa’s brother



Djellrin Khentavra:

Jahrae’s dad



E'sphara:

Owner of E’sphara Artist Colony



Gl’nsiel Frehsan:

Chief of Government after Brellian



Hrilleae Khentavra:

Jahrae’s mum



Admiral I'Isahra M'lensa:

Commander of Equality



Jahrae T'srha Khentavra:

llhaesa’s wife, and Ambassador



Jesnsera Sserhara:

hero of revolution who saves Jahrae



Ensign Jesnsera Sserhara:

daughter of Jahrae’s friend & wife of Chsensera



Elsrensia K’avahra:

Physician and revolutionary



Khaehala:

Chsensera’s mum



Khahishra:

llhaesa’s college roommate and M’traliel’s wife



Kyielra:

victim of murder, witnessed by young Jahrae



llhaesa ahrella t'yaeli:

musician and leader of two worlds



Lzrehae N’seseh:

Government employee and discoverer of important documents



M'sela J'serhn:

llhaesa’s college advisor



M'traliel Zralensa:

friend of llhaesa, and first lover



Mrevan:

llhaesa’s dad



Njesera:

Head of government records department



N'rellia:

Llhaesa’s college and most prestigious school on Arrhazon



Olterian:

Concert promoter



Saehressa:

llhaesa’s mum



Serada:

Ronnie and llhaesa’s youngest daughter



Sjre Jlrasre:

Café owner



Sk'vra Kjurha:

llhaesa nemesis and future hero of revolution



Vreloran:

government technician who helps llhaesa



Zreltian:

Former Arrhazonan Chief of Government



♣ historical tales

  • February 2009
  • January 2009
  • December 2008
  • November 2008
  • October 2008
  • September 2008
  • August 2008
  • July 2008
  • June 2008

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♣ CC License

Worlds Undone

by llhaesa t'yaeli



Is licensed under a

Creative Commons Attribution-No Derivative Works 3.0 United States License.

Based on a work at http://llhaesa.org/.

♣ CC Licence II

Worlds Undone

by llhaesa



Is licensed under a

Creative Commons Attribution-No Derivative Works 3.0 United States License.

Based on a work at llhaesa.wordpress.com.

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