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worlds undone

worlds undone

Category Archives: Gl’nsiel

CCLXXXIV – ambassadorial revolutionary

20 Tuesday Jan 2009

Posted by nelle in Arrhazon, Gl'nsiel, I’Isahra M’lensa, Jahrae, llhaesa, M'traliel

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blog fiction, blog novels, blog stories, blog-books, books, creative writing, e books, e novels, eBooks, feminism, feminist, feminist fiction, feminist literature, feminist stories, feminist writing, fiction, lesbian, lesbian books, lesbian fiction, lesbian literature, lesbian stories, lesbian writing, lesbian-novels, literature, online books, online novels, original fiction, story telling, writing

Jahrae’s thoughtfulness found its intended mark, that of providing an unexpected expression of love to her surprised and moved partner.

Llhaesa treasured the ring, a universal symbol of commitment and love in her adopted world’s culture, and she wore it day and night, refusing to remove it for even a moment. Llhaesa knew that as her pregnancy progressed, a time would come when the ring would not fit, but until then, she did not intend to remove the ring from her left hand ring finger.

Three nights after Jahrae gave llhaesa the ring, both slept blissfully, and as usual, one against the other, until Jahrae began to fidget. Growing ever more restless, yet still in the throes of sleep, the change in Jahrae brought llhaesa out of her sleep.

Jahrae turned rapidly toward the side opposite that of llhaesa, and a moment later, she let loose with a bloodcurdling yell of, “Ahi asah kalara msra!” Twice more Jahrae called out the same words, translated as ‘let me go!”

Llhaesa lifted up on her elbows and reached over to call Jahrae out of the obviously haunting nightmare, already suspecting its origins. “Jahrae! Jahrae! Jahrae!” llhaesa called softly but loud enough for Jahrae to hear, at the same time as her hand, now on Jahrae’s shoulder, gently shook Jahrae out of sleep.

Jahrae came to, immediately falling into the embrace of llhaesa, whom not waiting for Jahrae to wake, extended her arms around and held tight to Jahrae. “It is ok my love, it is ok. I am here, I am here!”

Seconds passed before the disoriented Jahrae regained purchase on reality, setting her bearings on the realisation she was in their suite and in llhaesa’s arms.

“Bloody hell, llhaesa! That is the correct English expression, right?”

Llhaesa giggled and replied, “A British expression, yes. You know, on occasion I do speak Arrhazonan, Jahrae.”

“OK, OK, I get the point, but I do try to converse with you across the spectrum of possible communication, though you would never wish to hear me speak in piano as you do!

In any case, that fool nightmare of that horrid day when they came for you haunts me still.”

“Interestingly, my nightmares of you being dragged away subsided after I regained my identity and realised you were coming for me. Now that I say this, perhaps my turn lies near.”

“I surely hope not, ‘essa.” Changing the subject, Jahrae observed, “If you were only partially pregnant, I would suggest we indulge in a mid-night cap in the ship’s lounge, but since you went and got yourself fully pregnant, that idea is out!”

“You goof. I need not drink alcohol to enjoy your company. Since we are awake, and since you need a chance to settle, lets dress and head on up to the lounge.”

“Dress, llhaesa? I thought we might go as we are.”

“That would surely draw attention, my dark haired goddess, but not the kind I wish to seek.”

“Look at the positives in the idea. You could do a before, as in now, and after, say seven months from now.”

“Aren’t you a funny one, post nightmare! If you keep that up, I will ask you to carry me!”

“Undressed as you are? I surely would do so – if I can find the proper bracing to hold me up.”

Llhaesa laughed, calling out that she had best dress before Jahrae delved further into humour. “I suggest you dress as well, or it may be me who carries you. Of course, my hands might wish to roam some.”

“I have no doubt they would, having experienced this phenomenon many times in my life, though not as much as I wished for.”

The sleepless couple made their way to the lounge, where Jahrae ordered her new standard, a margarita, matched by llhaesa ordering her new standard, carbonated water and lime.

Due to the three-shift cycle of the ship’s crew, the lounge still played host to the usual complement of crewmembers. While llhaesa felt the pull of the piano, she focused her attention back to Jahrae, and the two engaged in conversation for over an hour, before recommitting to try to sleep.

The effort proved successful, and the next morning each went their separate ways, Jahrae to work on logistics of the team’s move, and llhaesa to practise. Around ten am, llhaesa called Jahrae, mysteriously requesting authorisation for her and M’traliel and the girls to go planetside.

“M’traliel and I have things to attend to, my love, and it might be nice for the girls to get their feet on solid ground for a while.”

The request and its vagueness puzzled Jahrae, given llhaesa made no earlier mention of wishing to make the trip on this day, as well as for not asking her to join the travellers. Yet she trusted llhaesa’s judgement, and aside from the puzzlement over the lack of mention and invite, she readily assented to the request and so informed ship’s control.

The four set out, with llhaesa piloting. On the way down, llhaesa informed the girls of the reason for their trip. “I need you to keep this a secret, please do not talk to anyone, or tell anyone, about what we are doing today. Can you do this for me, girls?”

The plan excited both, and both readily promised to maintain the secret, though it would not be easy.

They re-boarded the ship eight hours later, and if Jahrae thought llhaesa vague prior to the trip, she seemed positively evasive after the return.

Jahrae knew something was up, for the girls acted as if they spent the day in a library staring at the walls. She could see the feigned innocence in their twinkling eyes, eyes that revealed they knew an exciting secret they were not about to share.

Debating whether to have some fun with the girls, teasing them over their withheld secret, Jahrae decided against this, in case one did accidentally slip with the truth, leaving them feeling awful for the revelation.

Instead, Jahrae put the matter out of her mind; figuring llhaesa would share when ready, and no sooner. Over the ensuing days, Jahrae became lost in the logistics of the move, including the need for more supply trips to and from the ship than she first anticipated.

Discussing the issue with the Admiral and llhaesa, the trio worked on revising the schedule. Needing a restroom break, Jahrae took her leave, while the Admiral and llhaesa continued with planning. Jahrae quickly returned, and the Admiral immediately suggested, subject to Jahrae’s approval, they delay the departure date of Equality by ten days, effectively ending this element of the discussion.

Llhaesa excused herself from the meeting, claiming the matter ‘resolved,’ and set out for parts unknown.

Two days later, a Friday, Jahrae rose and showered, ready to work. Llhaesa had long since showered to meet her usual practise time. Jahrae headed out the door at 8 am, turned right in the hall, and saw llhaesa approaching. “Jahrae, do you have a moment? I have something I wish to discuss with you. You will need to see to understand what I mean, so if you will follow me, please.”

The two said nothing as they made their way down the hall and into the lift, descending to the bottom deck, on into the hangar.

“Llhaesa, what is going on, here? What could possibly be in the hangar we need to discuss?”

I wish to show you how we can carry more supplies per trip, Jahrae.”

Confused but not quite exasperated, Jahrae indulged llhaesa’s uncharacteristic flightiness. The door to the landing craft already open, llhaesa motioned for Jahrae to go first, as she dutifully did, climbing the two rungs headlong into six adults and four children, as well as one excited puppy darting and happily skipping around and about the multitude of legs in the craft’s main cabin.

Before Jahrae could utter a word, llhaesa had the door closed and the craft pressurising. Realising this as she found her voice, Jahrae asked, “What is this journey you wish to undertake, llhaesa – and everyone? Have you forgotten ship’s control will allow this craft to go precisely nowhere without my authorisation?

Llhaesa, attempting and failing to stifle a snicker, otherwise said nothing as she made her way forward to converse with First Officer L’hhera in the pilot’s seat, with Ensign V’rahshera already seated alongside, co-piloting. Activating the craft, the First Officer interacted with the controllers in the hangar monitoring room, who gave the go ahead for the craft to leave the ship.

Jahrae by then had reached llhaesa, now standing alongside M’traliel and Khahishra. Looking upward into llhaesa’s eyes, Jahrae silently but expressively looked for an explanation. knowing all on board watched this encounter.

With the craft now clear of the hangar and picking up speed, llhaesa’s attention shifted to the need for explanation, and so she began to explain. “While you have authority in almost all instances involving Equality and the landing craft, Jahrae, please forgive me, but I had to go over your head for this excursion. Gl’nsiel personally authorised my taking this craft and these passengers off ship without your authorisation, even if we had to bind and gag you to get you on this craft.

In answer to your inquiry, why the lot of us are taking a mini vacation – we all need to rest and have fun.”

“We have so much to do, ‘essa; is this wise?” Jahrae asked, worried.

“Do you recall the day we extended the time Equality would remain here? Llhaesa asked.

“Yes, I do. Why?”

“While you stepped away, I informed the Admiral of my plan, which he wholeheartedly loved and supported. After that, as soon as I had a safe place to make the call, I contacted Gl’nsiel, and here we are.”

“Does this have anything to do with your mystery trip earthward with M’traliel?”

“Mystery trip, J-har? M’traliel, do you recall taking a mystery trip?” llhaesa mischievously asked.

“Why no, llhaesa. I recall having to take care of an urgent business matter, but no mystery trip.” M’traliel played along.

Jahrae did not have to wait long, though the minutes seemed to stretch into hours in her unrelenting and anticipating excitement to learn the complete details of llhaesa’s vacation plan.

The craft set down in Palm Beach, Florida, in the parking lot of a prestigious marina. The passengers filed out with their gear, llhaesa hauling two bags upon her shoulders, annoying Jahrae, who promptly fished one off llhaesa to carry. “You are pregnant after all, llhaesa.”

“Jahrae, I may be pregnant, but I can carry those bags and you at the same time, so don’t challenge me to try!”

“You rented a sailboat for the weekend? How big must it be to hold eight adults and four children, ‘essa?”

Llhaesa said nothing, but smiled widely, picking up her pace as she neared the docks. The parade of family followed dutifully behind, walking one hundred metres out along the main dock, and then turning right onto one of the spurs. Llhaesa stopped alongside a brand new Jeanneau Sun Odyssey 49. White with green trim and apparently white sails, the boat was breathtakingly beautiful.

Dropping her bag as Jahrae did the same, llhaesa placed her hands on the sides of Jahrae’s upper arms and offered, ‘for you, my love, for you.”

Jahrae, not grasping llhaesa’s true meaning, thanked her for arranging the vacation. “I shall treasure our weekend vacation on this magnificent boat!”

Llhaesa realised Jahrae still thought in terms of ‘weekend,’ and so she grabbed Jahrae’s hand, and led her along the dock, aft of the boat. Turning to observe the boat from the rear, Jahrae saw a tarp hanging off the back of the boat.

“Jahrae,” llhaesa began, talking loud enough so that the gathered family, who followed them along the dock, could hear. “The most difficult part of this arrangement was in the naming.

The name needed to be for you, to represent you, just as Overture carried meaning to my life. What would carry meaning to your life? Well, I thought of ‘Reunion,’ but that was something for both of us, not something exclusively representing you.

I thought of ‘Dark haired goddess,’ but it just did not feel right. I even thought of the dark haired goddess of light’s name – the middle name you failed to share with me all those years ago, and that I only learned at the wedding of Chsen and Jesn – T’srha, and that too did not meet what I felt was needed in a name.

Which brings us to…” llhaesa paused for just a second as M’traliel grabbed a cord holding the tarp, and her right arm muscles tensing for the effort, gave the cord a solid pull, revealing a name beautifully written in script: Ambassadorial Revolutionary.

In that moment, and just in that moment, Jahrae realised llhaesa’s story was not at all about a rental boat for a weekend vacation, it was for a gift from llhaesa to her. Ambassadorial Revolutionary – her boat, her magnificent boat, fifteen long metres in length, and fully capable of comfortably carrying the entirety of those gathered for vacation.

This… was going to be fun, and the fun began when Jahrae jumped up, right into llhaesa’s catching and holding arms, taking her up on that offer of carrying. There was but one proper way onto that boat, and Jahrae just made it her choice.


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♣ raison d’être


Over the past seven months, writing the individual stories of llhaesa and Jahrae, as well as their common story, has taken a special place in my heart.

There are some elements, those with playful exchanges, or those where discussion is heavier, that grab hold of my emotions, sometimes even grab hold of my thoughts, weighing upon me during the day.

llhaesa’s story has been welling inside of me for some significant time in rough form. The story is a by-product of coping with gender dysphoria, of being a feminist and a lesbian, and dealing with all the issues related to being lgbt through my life, from closet to post-coming out; while finding – or perhaps stumbling - my way through.

Music is the catalyst, a translator of raw sensory information and feelings, that helps me take the cloud forming in my mind and shape it into story. Sometimes this is via the lyrics, other times through the melody, sometimes simply by way of the sound of an individual instrument.

Musical influences come from Delerium; Beth Orton; Dar Williams; Joan Armatrading; Sarah McLachlan; Tori Amos; Natalie Merchant; Heather Nova; Tracy Chapman; Linda Perry; Alanis Morissette; Bruce Springsteen; Brooke White; Roxy Music; and many others.

There is no order to the posting of story elements or in writing them; each is posted randomly in time, of character, of place - much like how we might share stories from our lives with another. There are times when I will string together elements, and that pattern is evident in the rescue of llhaesa and the subsequent reunion.

Most of the novel is told via a narrator; with one exception. Writing llhaesa’s last day from her perspective - what she experiences, what she sees unfold around her, how she views and reacts to these things – seemed more compelling and interesting. I added one final element to this that actually is not of her last day on Arrhazon, but in her coming out here.

There are six posts told from llhaesa’s real time experience. These story elements (in her words I-VI) are the most interesting and fun to write, as well as the most emotionally draining. As I write this, 29 posts remain in book one, and the last ten have proven the most demanding emotionally.

Some of the story involves an element of science fiction, necessary to bridge the connection between the two worlds, the disconnects, the reconnects. It is not my intent to fashion a tale of science fiction, and the parts that touch on it will remain an essential minimum. The true intent is to share a humanist and feminist story, one where two worlds struggle to find their way to gender equality. The main protagonists are lesbian, and we get to see where at least on one world, this is no issue. Our world can have issue with us, and in this story, one gets to watch as both worlds find their way to creating more accepting and equal societies. The next book will find llhaesa facing this issue square on.

The story consists of 300 individual elements, which when collectively read forms a story of book length. As written currently and displayed on the blog, this is a rough draft; changes will likely be made over time to already published elements.

This is Book One, as what follows post 300 will best be framed into its own book. The second will address issues that will be at once interesting and challenging to explore and contemplate - building upon the story told in Book One. Llhaesa, drawing upon idealism, optimism, and an incredible ability to motivate, will tackle issues in ways I believe most all of us in the lesbian community would wish to see unfold in actuality. If nothing else, the story allows us to get lost in fantasy for a while.

While the title is ‘world’s undone,' this is really the life story of and the results triggered by an incredibly talented musician and activist. Llhaesa refuses to sit idly by while gender discrimination harms the women of her world and freedom is lost on one world, paying a terrible price for her effort. When she resurfaces here, now it is our turn to face her challenges to a world resulting from her unrelenting vision and dreams.

Jahrae, while prominent throughout the story, is sort of the unsung hero, the person who grows through the story to become a formidable presence in her own right. This is by design, and her growth is a perfect match to llhaesa, who needs someone to challenge and inspire her to new learning, to new creativity.

As I wrote the story, note that I originally did not plan on having the children parented by Jahrae, Ronnie, and llhaesa. Initially my intent was for friction to build, to show that sometimes we run into difficulty seeing eye to eye with our spouses. In the end, I could not do this, for my idealism and optimism, of trying to craft something as it should be, got in the way.

nelle

♣ say that again?

Aalon:

A.ah.lawn



Aailhra:

A.yul.har.rah



Arrhazon:

Are.ha zawn



Brellian:

Brr.L.lee.an



Chsensera:

Cheh.sen.sear.rah



Cshrehyi:

Sess.ray.hee



Djellrin:

Dee.jell.er.in



E'sphara:

E.ss.far.ruh



Gl’nsiel Frehsan:

Jellen.sheel Fray.shawn



Hrilleae:

Ha.rill.ee.ay



I'Isahra M'lensa:

I.ih.sah.rah Mah.len.sah



Jahrae T'srha Khentavra:

Ja.ha.ray Teh.share.ahh Ka.hen.tahv.rah



Jesnsera Sserhara:

Ja.ess.en.sear.ah Say.sear.ahh



Elsrensia K’avahra:

L.sir.rent.sha Kah.hah.vair.ah



Khaehala:

Kay.ha.la



Khahishra:

Ka.ha.heesh.ruh



Kyielra:

Ka.E.I'll.ra



llhaesa ahrella t'yaeli:

lie yay sah are.ha.rell.la tay.lye



Lzrehae N’seseh:

Lah.zer.ra.hay N.sha.say



M'sela J'serhn:

Mah.sell.ahh Jay.sehr.hen



M'traliel Zralensa:

M.tra.lee.ell Zee.ra.len.sah



Mrevan:

Mm.ruh.van



Njesera:

En.djuh.say.rah



N'rellia:

N.rell.lee.ah



Olterian:

Oh.L.tear.E.an



Saehressa:

Sigh.ah.ress.ah



Serada:

Sir.rah.da



Sjre Jlrasre:

S.jer.ray Jas.sell.rass.er



Sk'vra Kjurha:

Skeh.var.rah Kah.jour.rah



Vreloran:

Vreh.lore.an



Zreltian:

Zzer.L.she.an



♣ people and places

  • 51 Pegasi
  • Aailhra
  • Aalon
  • Addison
  • AGA
  • Alicia Ellenwood
  • Anita
  • arlkhala
  • Arrhazon
  • Arrhazon College
  • Arrhka
  • Arrkarhara
  • Barbara Millwood
  • Bill Green
  • Boston
  • Brellian
  • Casey
  • Chsensera
  • city north
  • Cshrehyi
  • David
  • Djellrin
  • Dolores
  • Dottie Salston
  • Dr Elsrensia K’avahra
  • Dr. Ed Ellsworth
  • Dr. Wrehsx
  • E'sphara
  • Empo
  • Ensign Sserhara
  • Gl'nsiel
  • Henry Smithson
  • Hrilleae
  • I’Isahra M’lensa
  • J'saera
  • Jahrae
  • Jamila Karenga
  • J’luhre Forest Preserve
  • Jesnsera
  • Jredvarha City
  • Keene
  • Khaehala
  • Khahishra
  • Kukaeshra
  • Kyielra
  • Lajxa R’chr
  • llhaesa
  • Lzrehae
  • M'sela J'serhn
  • M'traliel
  • Marcia Paang
  • Mark Cahill
  • Mrevan
  • N'rellia
  • N'rellia Naturally
  • Nenseru Woods
  • Njesera
  • North 41
  • Old City
  • Olterian
  • reiki
  • Ronnie
  • Saehressa
  • Sara Beth
  • SEQ
  • Serada
  • Sjre Jlrasre
  • Sk'vra
  • southeast quadrant
  • Susan Woodward
  • Sylvia Washington
  • Tim
  • V'aesza
  • Vicki
  • Vreloran
  • Y'sre School of Music
  • Zreltian

♣ who’s who

Aalon:

Chief Curator of N’rellia Conservatory of Music



Aailhra:

Arrhazonan equivalent to Reiki



Addison:

Ronnie and llhaesa’s eldest daughter



Arrhazon:

llhaesa & Jahrae home world



Brellian:

Unstable Arrhazonan dictator



Chsensera:

Child friend of llhaesa and Jahrae



Cshrehyi T’yaeli:

llhaesa’s brother



Djellrin Khentavra:

Jahrae’s dad



E'sphara:

Owner of E’sphara Artist Colony



Gl’nsiel Frehsan:

Chief of Government after Brellian



Hrilleae Khentavra:

Jahrae’s mum



Admiral I'Isahra M'lensa:

Commander of Equality



Jahrae T'srha Khentavra:

llhaesa’s wife, and Ambassador



Jesnsera Sserhara:

hero of revolution who saves Jahrae



Ensign Jesnsera Sserhara:

daughter of Jahrae’s friend & wife of Chsensera



Elsrensia K’avahra:

Physician and revolutionary



Khaehala:

Chsensera’s mum



Khahishra:

llhaesa’s college roommate and M’traliel’s wife



Kyielra:

victim of murder, witnessed by young Jahrae



llhaesa ahrella t'yaeli:

musician and leader of two worlds



Lzrehae N’seseh:

Government employee and discoverer of important documents



M'sela J'serhn:

llhaesa’s college advisor



M'traliel Zralensa:

friend of llhaesa, and first lover



Mrevan:

llhaesa’s dad



Njesera:

Head of government records department



N'rellia:

Llhaesa’s college and most prestigious school on Arrhazon



Olterian:

Concert promoter



Saehressa:

llhaesa’s mum



Serada:

Ronnie and llhaesa’s youngest daughter



Sjre Jlrasre:

Café owner



Sk'vra Kjurha:

llhaesa nemesis and future hero of revolution



Vreloran:

government technician who helps llhaesa



Zreltian:

Former Arrhazonan Chief of Government



♣ historical tales

  • February 2009
  • January 2009
  • December 2008
  • November 2008
  • October 2008
  • September 2008
  • August 2008
  • July 2008
  • June 2008

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♣ CC License

Worlds Undone

by llhaesa t'yaeli



Is licensed under a

Creative Commons Attribution-No Derivative Works 3.0 United States License.

Based on a work at http://llhaesa.org/.

♣ CC Licence II

Worlds Undone

by llhaesa



Is licensed under a

Creative Commons Attribution-No Derivative Works 3.0 United States License.

Based on a work at llhaesa.wordpress.com.

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