“Thank you for the invitation, J’saera! I really like your stealth studio; I have never been in an invisible building before. Of course, it does take a bit of effort getting used to my clothing being invisible as well!”

J’saera laughed at the unexpected line on invisibility, which llhaesa meant as a taunting of Brellian over his inability to find the illegal broadcasters, and not an actual statement of any actual invisibility.

“Llhaesa, your first release Equality was a huge success. When can we expect a follow up?”

“I finished writing for a new release some time ago, and plan to actually record the material in the next few months. I am pretty happy with the writing, now if only I can find similar happiness with the music in the recording stage!”

“Will the music be of the same style as Equality?”

“When I write or play, the music most often reflects my mood and outlook in that moment. I might be upset with our current mis-leader, smiling and relaxed after sex with Jahrae, feeling wicked in my lustful horniness, mischievous for the teasing, sad over some unexpected loss or hurt of another. Most often, music leaves me playful, no pun intended.

Answering your question more directly, I love all forms of music, and this recording will reflect that love, though I may incorporate more than one genre into individual songs – I like pushing the envelope.”

“Of that we are certain! Will you tour after this new release?”

“Yes, I intend an extensive world tour, one on a much larger scale than the limited eight city tour for Equality. At that time, I was fresh out of college, and toured just to get my feet wet, to take away the uncertainty. Now I have a much better idea of what I would like to do, where I would like the music to go.

With regard to the tour, it will work around Jahrae’s school schedule, since she intends to accompany me as much as possible through the tour.”

“Some say you are the best pianist this world has ever produced. To what do you ascribe mastering of this skill?”

“That is a most kind thing to say, though I rather frown upon comparisons – comparisons might uplift one, but they also leave another as diminished by the equation; it is not my intent to render another lesser through my playing. I play for the pure unadulterated joy of letting my soul create music.”

“Where did you learn your incredible moves?”

“Has Jahrae been sharing our bed-stories again?”

J’saera bursts out laughing, while llhaesa sat with just a hint of a mischievous and playful twinkle in her eye, knowing at home, Jahrae was likely uttering her own comeback lines.

“Since you mentioned Jahrae, would you share how you two met?”

“Fate intervened. Her parents invited me to their home to discuss business – the Nenseru Woods concert. Jahrae was a nouveau adult who still spent her time attempting to counter the lessons her parents wished to teach. I rather changed that, funny how love can change our paths.

A couple of weeks later, she visited the home of my parents and on her entrance into their home, tripped. The subsequent rather spectacular fall landed her at the feet of my mum, and Jahrae, to her credit, had the witty presence of mind to utter, “Hi mum!” to my mother. I knew right then the two of us would be one through life.”

“I keep hearing stories of how the two of you bring humour, lively banter, and competitive and witty exchanges to your relationship. Is this truth, or is it exaggeration?”

“It is no exaggeration. People can bog down in the stresses of life, that is no different for us than anyone else. Both of us recognise that life needs to balance, to have an element of fun, of enjoying each other on various levels, from physical love to serious discussions to playful interplay. The key is balance in all things.

With the playful interplay, we really love fashioning formal exchanges that sound as if of another age, where there is an element of stoicism, a sense of rigidity, yet with zingers tucked in the gentle fabrications of words – not quite subliminal zingers, but one level above this, where they are visible, if only one thinks for a moment.”

“You mentioned bed-stories. Would you share one in retribution?”

“Har! Not on your life, or rather my life, because that is likely what is at stake here if I do. However, Jahrae’s hands to lovemaking are what my hands are to playing piano. I wonder if she might consider a trading of hand-skills.

And that is as far as this tangent will go!”

“Aww. I heard you were more risqué in your answers. Was I deceived?”

“Not something I wish to confirm or deny, though I will say we all would be better off tossing Brellian, building an equal society, and refocusing our attention to love.

In all honesty, I can be candid on the subject, because there is no shame found with our bodies. This notion that we cover what is filth is an asinine view, and neither I nor Jahrae subscribe to that philosophy.”

“Since you mentioned Brellian, at the old age of 25, you are a formidable presence on the political scene, or more specifically, as a political activist. Some clamour for you to rise to leadership. What say you to this?”

“It is difficult to string together words such that they are devoid of aloofness or some lack of responsibility. After all, I encourage people to think on this, encourage people to look to cast aside this government, and to then back away, even though that is what I feel inside, is probably a mistake of my past.

To the depths of my soul, I am a musician, who loves moving through life on that level. Activism comes to me by necessity, because as an idealist and a decided optimist, I see what can be. When I contrast that with what we have, the injustices, the disappearances, the murders, the lack of rights…

Our laws do not recognise women as equal. Women who work frequently can only find menial positions, at a horrid pay scale. Domestic violence is on the upswing, and rape is never far away from us.

Our current leader is a disgrace to the office. He is culpable in many a crime, including the death of Zreltian. He needs removal, and when I tour post release, each performance will feature an extended interactive political element. It is time to do more; it is time to set our world right.

My thoughts on leadership have shifted, in no small part thanks to Jahrae, and our dear friend M’traliel. Accordingly, if the people wished it, I would accept a leadership role, but only for a limited period.

Our world would better be governed by the likes of Gl’nsiel, of whom I am a great admirer.”

“Are you suggesting a popular uprising?”

“Not necessarily; there are many ways for the people to change a government. Well, that is a rather insipid statement, is it not?

For clarity: my preference is for change to flow through the electoral process. If he fails to permit elections, we have on our hands a budding dictator; and a budding dictator needs to have his arse tossed out forcibly, if that is what he brings us to.

“Are you advocating violence?”

“Thank you for asking this question. No, I do not advocate violence –“

“Yet you said forcibly.”

“Yeah, sigh…I did. My intent – and guess I have to choose words more wisely – but my intent is change through peaceful means. If denied the electoral process, then I would advocate an arrest-like method of change, removing a leader holding office illegally, not change through violent revolution.

I am in favour of public demonstrations of sentiment, done peacefully. I wish to see a peaceful world, one with full equality for Arrhazonans. And I hope Brellian sees the light, and comes to embrace this vision, though at this point, I believe it better he embrace it as ordinary citizen, rather than as Chief of Government.”

“What do you see of our future – the future of this world?”

“What I advocate for, I see. All of it is possible. We are reaching out to other worlds now, and new discoveries come yearly. We are living in an exciting time, and the future, that of our children, and their children, is the stuff of dreams. We have this roadblock, but we will remove it, and soon.”

“You spoke to a group recently – teachers as I recall – and promised to begin a foundation on domestic violence. Has this been established?”

“Yes, the foundation is in its nascent stages, and now is fully funded for its start up. Jahrae oversees this, though she has much help due to her current school requirements. She will oversee this foundation and the four others, while I will sit on the board of each.”

“What other foundations are there?”

There is one for advocating equal rights – amending our law to recognise women as equals. There is one for education; to help young women access education otherwise denied to them. A third promotes the training of our young in the arts, and the final foundation deals with protecting our environment.”

“We are nearing the end of our time. Is there anything you wish to add?”

“Yes, and thank you for extending this courtesy to me. People sometimes think I am larger than life, simply because I play music and advocate for change. I am no different from anyone else and do not hold myself above. If I ever do this, please cut me down to size, such boorish conduct would be unconscionable.

When I speak of rising against this government, it is as one of you. This is why the leadership calls bothered me so. I am of you, not above, and wish more than anything to be one of an entire world who sees an injustice, and simply wishes to set it right.

Thank you, J’saera, and thank you to your fine broadcast centre – all of you perform an invaluable service for the people or Arrhazon. Be well, be free, and be equal!”

The interview ended, and the studio where J’saera and llhaesa sat went off air. The two talked privately for some time after, both not knowing that this interview was the final catalyst that would send government forces into llhaesa’s flat three days hence.

The store was devoid of any security paraphernalia, and it was in an out of the way location, where no security types would even begin to think to look. Moreover, the two acted as independent and solitary customers, carefully couching their comments such that no one around them would notice they were conversing.

They would interact briefly, one would move to another rack and look through it, and then they would come face to face at yet another rack. At other times, they stood side by side, looking forward as if studying what lie in front of them.

Their real reason for meeting was to discuss the second release of llhaesa’s final songs. The first achieved spectacular results and created a huge public outcry. This second release should build upon this, escalating public pressure.

With the imminent début of the new release, Kukaeshra had recommended Jahrae, M’traliel, Saehressa and Mrevan, Khahishra, Hrilleae and Djellrin, etc go into hiding. All but M’traliel and Jahrae were now safely scattered to places of safety, and after this release, both of them would move in with Jesnsera for a short while, until Jesnsera found them other secure accommodation.

The next release in her closed jacket pocket, Jahrae would wait until they were out of the store and among a larger crowd before making the transfer to Kukaeshra. This song, titled Corporeal Superficiality was a defiant declaration by llhaesa of how the government goons might destroy her body, but they would never destroy or take away her heart, her soul, her beliefs, her spirituality, her outlook, and most especially her love for Jahrae. It ‘featured’ llhaesa playing an acoustic guitar, which she played as expertly and nimbly as her keyboard work, and which ultimately would catch those less familiar with her work totally by surprise.

With this song, Llhaesa’s voice displayed its natural, unique, and somewhat raspy nature – how it sounded when she did not intentionally refine through years of training into a more consistent, less throaty sound – best suited for classical works. The natural and raspy was quite appealing in other genres, though most often, llhaesa did not let her voice go this route.

Jahrae was quite familiar with hearing llhaesa sing this way during practice time. Beyond classical training, this was also for health reasons – this style was straining on llhaesa’s vocal cords, even if she were predisposed to sing in this manner. Yet if someone asked her to choose and forced to answer, this voice was the one Jahrae most loved to hear. It represented the unfiltered and incredibly pure, raw and powerful voice of llhaesa, bereft of formal musical training – a blow out, kick arse blues sort of feel.

The faux shoppers left the store at different times, moving toward the market area as any shopper would – by window-shopping. The market at midday hosted thousands of people, who congregated around the myriad of food kiosks and shops. Jahrae reached the market last, finally heading for the first lamppost on the far right of the market block.

As expected, Kukaeshra stood in the general vicinity of the post, fumbling with what she pretended was a shoe problem. Hundreds of people moved within 30 metres of where she stood. She carried a purchase from the store just left, as did Jahrae, but Kukaeshra’s sat with her bag on the pavement as she fumbled with her shoe. Jahrae passed, accidentally dropping her purchase next to Kukaeshra’s identical bag, and then stooped and picked up Kukaeshra’s bag, while leaving her own – with the recording – with Kukaeshra.

Once again, Kukaeshra tasked to her musical mission. She pronounced her shoe as ‘fixed,’ slipped back into it, and headed off on public transport with her invaluable if hidden new possession.

Another 3 hours passed before Kukaeshra safely sat in her secret office, about to play the recording. The first release had brought her to tears on first playback; she wondered what her emotions would be after playback of this newest song. This song was slightly longer than the first at 7:24, and as it played, the expressions that left her mouth grew from “wow” to “fucking eh! Way to go llhaesa!”

Kukaeshra found herself standing, applauding, and generally whooping it up. A few on duty personnel ran in to see what was going on, then stood there looking on curiously, watching their boss as she thrust her fist into the air, spun around, danced, and yelled out things like WOO HOO!

Finally, she stopped, just looked at the three onlookers, and smiled. J’saera was again on duty, and again Kukaeshra passed the recording to her, explaining to J’saera what she put in her hand. She had less than a minute to get back in the studio.

The two rushed down the hall into the open door studio. Kukaeshra closed the door behind her, while the on air light triggered outside, warning others away. The time wound down on the current set of songs, and right on cue, J’saera began to speak.

“I’m certain all of you out there are familiar with llhaesa t’yaeli’s release Forever, Wherever – one of three songs she recorded on the final night of her life, before that life was ripped away from her by the government’s – Brellian’s – murderous thugs. Who isn’t familiar with the song and her story now? Well, now we have the second release in our hands, ready to share with you.

I’ve not heard the recording as yet, so as with the first, I will hear it for the first time with all of you. Llhaesa ahrella t’yaeli has come to be our spiritual societal guide, who even in physical death lives on, who leads, relentlessly challenges and pushes for change, who stands by us all, who calls out ‘there is hope’ where the rest of us might only see despair. When I think of llhaesa now, I not only think of how she is the best our world has ever produced, I think of her incredible courage, kind-heartedness, and power to stand and lead without ever losing her commonality.

They took her away from those she loved and loved her, took her from us all. Yet we are about to hear from her once again – from a place Brellian would have thought impossible, from beyond death – still challenging our world to change.

It is my great honour to play for you llhaesa ahrella t’yaeli’s second of three final recordings – Corporeal Superficiality.”

All over the world, people not listening received quick messages from excited listeners to tune in to the broadcast. Within moments, an entire world listened to the newest ‘llhaesa’ (as they now commonly refer to her work) 15 months after llhaesa’s existence came to a nightmarish and abrupt end. This very same world sat enraptured by what they were hearing, stunned by the defiance and the incredible courage, but also by llhaesa’s slightly different voice style, combined with her inspired guitar play.

In that 7:24 of first time playback, the fourth world in the Arrhkan system moved one major step closer to full blown revolution.

Posted in Brellian, J'saera, Jahrae, Kukaeshra, llhaesa, M'traliel Tagged: blog fiction, blog novels, blog stories, blog-books, creative writing, e books, e novels, eBooks, feminism, feminist, feminist fiction, feminist literature, feminist stories, feminist writing, fiction, lesbian, lesbian fiction, lesbian literature, lesbian stories, lesbian writing, lesbian-novels, literature, online books, online novels, original fiction, writing ]]> http://llhaesa.org/2008/10/06/cxli-second-release/feed/ 2 llhaesa t'yaeli http://llhaesa.org/2008/09/14/cxv-first-release/ http://llhaesa.org/2008/09/14/cxv-first-release/#comments Sun, 14 Sep 2008 20:06:08 +0000 llhaesa http://llhaesa.wordpress.com/?p=580 ]]> After leaving M’traliel and the check in at her cover location, Kukaeshra made her way to the mobile broadcast station. This generally took some time due to the elaborate security precautions that must be followed in order to avoid detection.

Once there, she headed straight for production, where she ran the llhaesa recording given her by Jahrae.

Seven minutes later, she wiped away tears. Tears flowed from her reaction – tears that came along despite her excitement of what might happen, tears that came along despite her anticipation of what would happen.

How could one not be moved by the recording? Here was the world’s best musician in her final hours, instinctively knowing her fate. And in that moment, she chose not to rant on the sorry state of politics, not in defiance of Brellian and the government, instead choosing to memorialise her love to her beloved partner.

This song, apparently titled Forever, Wherever – was a raw and unedited sharing of all llhaesa felt inside, an emotional recording of llhaesa playing piano with accompanying vocal. There was no other accompaniment edited in, no subsequent takes. She likely wrote the song that very evening, and just sat down and played it from her heart. Though Kukaeshra had never met the musician, from what she knew of llhaesa, she probably had no need for written lyrics or music, it all flowed from her brilliant mind.

Llhaesa’s key play was laden with emotion, emphasised in just the right points; she played as if being pushed beyond all physical barriers to her movement. Kukaeshra could feel the urgency, the importance to say – all of these things were so thick they could be cut with a knife.

The song was not quite seven minutes long, but it seemed hardly enough. “When the world hears this” Kukaeshra thought – basing it on years of professional knowledge and insight, “it will stop in its collective tracks.”

Kukaeshra had no intentions of editing the song for shorter play time; it was going to air as is. She needed to conduct interviews with Jahrae and M’traliel; their comments would share insight into llhaesa’s life.

There was another very significant issue: very few people were aware of llhaesa’s loss. That would change with the release of this song, and that alone would trigger a reaction of unknown strength. If she were asked to guess, Kukaeshra would opine that this could well begin an unstoppable reaction, likely resulting in Brellian’s removal from power. How much of this was sound judgment, and how much was clever insight remained to be seen, but that would be her opinion.

Since the station broadcast constantly, it was just a small matter of giving the song to the current person on air, with instructions to ‘play this immediately.’

It was now the afternoon commute in the capitol time zone; millions of commuters would be listening. Kukaeshra walked to the broadcast room, saw they were in the midst of song playback, and so she continued on in.

J’saera was the current personality on air; she warmly greeted Kukaeshra, and inquired after her day. Pleasantries complete, Kukaeshra got down to business.

“J’saera, this is a new release. It is a recording by llhaesa t’yaeli on the occasion of her imminent death. I know we heard rumours, unsubstantiated. They are true. Llhaesa was murdered by those fiends, and if I have anything to contribute to bring them to justice, it shall be so.” Kukaeshra was pissed just talking about what had happened.

“Kukaeshra, how much do you know? When…?” J’saera was looking to find her own outrage.

“It apparently happened about a year ago. They stormed her flat, held her prisoner there overnight, while tossing out Jahrae – her spouse. Before noon the following day, Jahrae received word that – to quote her own words “llhaesa t’yaeli ceased to be at 10:20 am.” Pissed was putting it mildly.

At this information, J’saera slumped dejectedly in her chair, only to notice there were but ten seconds to song’s end. She quickly started the next without going on air, buying time for her conversation to continue with Kukaeshra. With llhaesa actually lost, things were incredibly grim.

“J’saera, your dejection shows through your body expressions. I suggest you wait and hear what is on this recording.”

“Kukaeshra, do you wish to…” she began to ask, but Kukaeshra knew where she was going, and interrupted. “No, I give you this honour, because you represent us and the greater community of equalists with honour.”

J’saera cued the new recording, not having previewed what she was about to play. She and her listeners were going to be surprised together.

The playing song wound down, 5…4…3… and J’sera began to speak. “I’ve just been handed a brand new release by llhaesa t’yaeli. As we all know, llhaesa has not been heard from in a year; we have fielded countless communications inquiring as to her current work.

The answer is: there is none. Wait, you say… you just said you have a new recording…yes, that we do. What need also be said is when it was recorded and why it was recorded, as well as what was happening when it was recorded.

J’saera proceeded to meticulously outline the story as she understood it, finally almost whispering an introductory “llhaesa t’yaeli.”

She shut down her input, and the song began. J’saera sat back and closed her eyes, ready to let her spirit be taken away by the incredible talent of llhaesa.

One minute from the end, she realised she was in no shape to speak. A series of songs were cued for automatic play. With this done, she ran from the room in tears, tears coupled with outrage unlike any she had ever felt before.