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worlds undone

worlds undone

Category Archives: J’saera

CXLI – second release

06 Monday Oct 2008

Posted by nelle in Brellian, J'saera, Jahrae, Kukaeshra, llhaesa, M'traliel

≈ 2 Comments

Tags

blog fiction, blog novels, blog stories, blog-books, creative writing, e books, e novels, eBooks, feminism, feminist, feminist fiction, feminist literature, feminist stories, feminist writing, fiction, lesbian, lesbian fiction, lesbian literature, lesbian stories, lesbian writing, lesbian-novels, literature, online books, online novels, original fiction, writing

The usual extensive precautions taken prior to their meeting up, Jahrae and Kukaeshra were now looking at each other across sales shelves in a small northern Arrhazon City store.

The store was devoid of any security paraphernalia, and it was in an out of the way location, where no security types would even begin to think to look. Moreover, the two acted as independent and solitary customers, carefully couching their comments such that no one around them would notice they were conversing.

They would interact briefly, one would move to another rack and look through it, and then they would come face to face at yet another rack. At other times, they stood side by side, looking forward as if studying what lie in front of them.

Their real reason for meeting was to discuss the second release of llhaesa’s final songs. The first achieved spectacular results and created a huge public outcry. This second release should build upon this, escalating public pressure.

With the imminent début of the new release, Kukaeshra had recommended Jahrae, M’traliel, Saehressa and Mrevan, Khahishra, Hrilleae and Djellrin, etc go into hiding. All but M’traliel and Jahrae were now safely scattered to places of safety, and after this release, both of them would move in with Jesnsera for a short while, until Jesnsera found them other secure accommodation.

The next release in her closed jacket pocket, Jahrae would wait until they were out of the store and among a larger crowd before making the transfer to Kukaeshra. This song, titled Corporeal Superficiality was a defiant declaration by llhaesa of how the government goons might destroy her body, but they would never destroy or take away her heart, her soul, her beliefs, her spirituality, her outlook, and most especially her love for Jahrae. It ‘featured’ llhaesa playing an acoustic guitar, which she played as expertly and nimbly as her keyboard work, and which ultimately would catch those less familiar with her work totally by surprise.

With this song, Llhaesa’s voice displayed its natural, unique, and somewhat raspy nature – how it sounded when she did not intentionally refine through years of training into a more consistent, less throaty sound – best suited for classical works. The natural and raspy was quite appealing in other genres, though most often, llhaesa did not let her voice go this route.

Jahrae was quite familiar with hearing llhaesa sing this way during practice time. Beyond classical training, this was also for health reasons – this style was straining on llhaesa’s vocal cords, even if she were predisposed to sing in this manner. Yet if someone asked her to choose and forced to answer, this voice was the one Jahrae most loved to hear. It represented the unfiltered and incredibly pure, raw and powerful voice of llhaesa, bereft of formal musical training – a blow out, kick arse blues sort of feel.

The faux shoppers left the store at different times, moving toward the market area as any shopper would – by window-shopping. The market at midday hosted thousands of people, who congregated around the myriad of food kiosks and shops. Jahrae reached the market last, finally heading for the first lamppost on the far right of the market block.

As expected, Kukaeshra stood in the general vicinity of the post, fumbling with what she pretended was a shoe problem. Hundreds of people moved within 30 metres of where she stood. She carried a purchase from the store just left, as did Jahrae, but Kukaeshra’s sat with her bag on the pavement as she fumbled with her shoe. Jahrae passed, accidentally dropping her purchase next to Kukaeshra’s identical bag, and then stooped and picked up Kukaeshra’s bag, while leaving her own – with the recording – with Kukaeshra.

Once again, Kukaeshra tasked to her musical mission. She pronounced her shoe as ‘fixed,’ slipped back into it, and headed off on public transport with her invaluable if hidden new possession.

Another 3 hours passed before Kukaeshra safely sat in her secret office, about to play the recording. The first release had brought her to tears on first playback; she wondered what her emotions would be after playback of this newest song. This song was slightly longer than the first at 7:24, and as it played, the expressions that left her mouth grew from “wow” to “fucking eh! Way to go llhaesa!”

Kukaeshra found herself standing, applauding, and generally whooping it up. A few on duty personnel ran in to see what was going on, then stood there looking on curiously, watching their boss as she thrust her fist into the air, spun around, danced, and yelled out things like WOO HOO!

Finally, she stopped, just looked at the three onlookers, and smiled. J’saera was again on duty, and again Kukaeshra passed the recording to her, explaining to J’saera what she put in her hand. She had less than a minute to get back in the studio.

The two rushed down the hall into the open door studio. Kukaeshra closed the door behind her, while the on air light triggered outside, warning others away. The time wound down on the current set of songs, and right on cue, J’saera began to speak.

“I’m certain all of you out there are familiar with llhaesa t’yaeli’s release Forever, Wherever – one of three songs she recorded on the final night of her life, before that life was ripped away from her by the government’s – Brellian’s – murderous thugs. Who isn’t familiar with the song and her story now? Well, now we have the second release in our hands, ready to share with you.

I’ve not heard the recording as yet, so as with the first, I will hear it for the first time with all of you. Llhaesa ahrella t’yaeli has come to be our spiritual societal guide, who even in physical death lives on, who leads, relentlessly challenges and pushes for change, who stands by us all, who calls out ‘there is hope’ where the rest of us might only see despair. When I think of llhaesa now, I not only think of how she is the best our world has ever produced, I think of her incredible courage, kind-heartedness, and power to stand and lead without ever losing her commonality.

They took her away from those she loved and loved her, took her from us all. Yet we are about to hear from her once again – from a place Brellian would have thought impossible, from beyond death – still challenging our world to change.

It is my great honour to play for you llhaesa ahrella t’yaeli’s second of three final recordings – Corporeal Superficiality.”

All over the world, people not listening received quick messages from excited listeners to tune in to the broadcast. Within moments, an entire world listened to the newest ‘llhaesa’ (as they now commonly refer to her work) 15 months after llhaesa’s existence came to a nightmarish and abrupt end. This very same world sat enraptured by what they were hearing, stunned by the defiance and the incredible courage, but also by llhaesa’s slightly different voice style, combined with her inspired guitar play.

In that 7:24 of first time playback, the fourth world in the Arrhkan system moved one major step closer to full blown revolution.

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♣ raison d’être


Over the past seven months, writing the individual stories of llhaesa and Jahrae, as well as their common story, has taken a special place in my heart.

There are some elements, those with playful exchanges, or those where discussion is heavier, that grab hold of my emotions, sometimes even grab hold of my thoughts, weighing upon me during the day.

llhaesa’s story has been welling inside of me for some significant time in rough form. The story is a by-product of coping with gender dysphoria, of being a feminist and a lesbian, and dealing with all the issues related to being lgbt through my life, from closet to post-coming out; while finding – or perhaps stumbling - my way through.

Music is the catalyst, a translator of raw sensory information and feelings, that helps me take the cloud forming in my mind and shape it into story. Sometimes this is via the lyrics, other times through the melody, sometimes simply by way of the sound of an individual instrument.

Musical influences come from Delerium; Beth Orton; Dar Williams; Joan Armatrading; Sarah McLachlan; Tori Amos; Natalie Merchant; Heather Nova; Tracy Chapman; Linda Perry; Alanis Morissette; Bruce Springsteen; Brooke White; Roxy Music; and many others.

There is no order to the posting of story elements or in writing them; each is posted randomly in time, of character, of place - much like how we might share stories from our lives with another. There are times when I will string together elements, and that pattern is evident in the rescue of llhaesa and the subsequent reunion.

Most of the novel is told via a narrator; with one exception. Writing llhaesa’s last day from her perspective - what she experiences, what she sees unfold around her, how she views and reacts to these things – seemed more compelling and interesting. I added one final element to this that actually is not of her last day on Arrhazon, but in her coming out here.

There are six posts told from llhaesa’s real time experience. These story elements (in her words I-VI) are the most interesting and fun to write, as well as the most emotionally draining. As I write this, 29 posts remain in book one, and the last ten have proven the most demanding emotionally.

Some of the story involves an element of science fiction, necessary to bridge the connection between the two worlds, the disconnects, the reconnects. It is not my intent to fashion a tale of science fiction, and the parts that touch on it will remain an essential minimum. The true intent is to share a humanist and feminist story, one where two worlds struggle to find their way to gender equality. The main protagonists are lesbian, and we get to see where at least on one world, this is no issue. Our world can have issue with us, and in this story, one gets to watch as both worlds find their way to creating more accepting and equal societies. The next book will find llhaesa facing this issue square on.

The story consists of 300 individual elements, which when collectively read forms a story of book length. As written currently and displayed on the blog, this is a rough draft; changes will likely be made over time to already published elements.

This is Book One, as what follows post 300 will best be framed into its own book. The second will address issues that will be at once interesting and challenging to explore and contemplate - building upon the story told in Book One. Llhaesa, drawing upon idealism, optimism, and an incredible ability to motivate, will tackle issues in ways I believe most all of us in the lesbian community would wish to see unfold in actuality. If nothing else, the story allows us to get lost in fantasy for a while.

While the title is ‘world’s undone,' this is really the life story of and the results triggered by an incredibly talented musician and activist. Llhaesa refuses to sit idly by while gender discrimination harms the women of her world and freedom is lost on one world, paying a terrible price for her effort. When she resurfaces here, now it is our turn to face her challenges to a world resulting from her unrelenting vision and dreams.

Jahrae, while prominent throughout the story, is sort of the unsung hero, the person who grows through the story to become a formidable presence in her own right. This is by design, and her growth is a perfect match to llhaesa, who needs someone to challenge and inspire her to new learning, to new creativity.

As I wrote the story, note that I originally did not plan on having the children parented by Jahrae, Ronnie, and llhaesa. Initially my intent was for friction to build, to show that sometimes we run into difficulty seeing eye to eye with our spouses. In the end, I could not do this, for my idealism and optimism, of trying to craft something as it should be, got in the way.

nelle

♣ say that again?

Aalon:

A.ah.lawn



Aailhra:

A.yul.har.rah



Arrhazon:

Are.ha zawn



Brellian:

Brr.L.lee.an



Chsensera:

Cheh.sen.sear.rah



Cshrehyi:

Sess.ray.hee



Djellrin:

Dee.jell.er.in



E'sphara:

E.ss.far.ruh



Gl’nsiel Frehsan:

Jellen.sheel Fray.shawn



Hrilleae:

Ha.rill.ee.ay



I'Isahra M'lensa:

I.ih.sah.rah Mah.len.sah



Jahrae T'srha Khentavra:

Ja.ha.ray Teh.share.ahh Ka.hen.tahv.rah



Jesnsera Sserhara:

Ja.ess.en.sear.ah Say.sear.ahh



Elsrensia K’avahra:

L.sir.rent.sha Kah.hah.vair.ah



Khaehala:

Kay.ha.la



Khahishra:

Ka.ha.heesh.ruh



Kyielra:

Ka.E.I'll.ra



llhaesa ahrella t'yaeli:

lie yay sah are.ha.rell.la tay.lye



Lzrehae N’seseh:

Lah.zer.ra.hay N.sha.say



M'sela J'serhn:

Mah.sell.ahh Jay.sehr.hen



M'traliel Zralensa:

M.tra.lee.ell Zee.ra.len.sah



Mrevan:

Mm.ruh.van



Njesera:

En.djuh.say.rah



N'rellia:

N.rell.lee.ah



Olterian:

Oh.L.tear.E.an



Saehressa:

Sigh.ah.ress.ah



Serada:

Sir.rah.da



Sjre Jlrasre:

S.jer.ray Jas.sell.rass.er



Sk'vra Kjurha:

Skeh.var.rah Kah.jour.rah



Vreloran:

Vreh.lore.an



Zreltian:

Zzer.L.she.an



♣ people and places

  • 51 Pegasi
  • Aailhra
  • Aalon
  • Addison
  • AGA
  • Alicia Ellenwood
  • Anita
  • arlkhala
  • Arrhazon
  • Arrhazon College
  • Arrhka
  • Arrkarhara
  • Barbara Millwood
  • Bill Green
  • Boston
  • Brellian
  • Casey
  • Chsensera
  • city north
  • Cshrehyi
  • David
  • Djellrin
  • Dolores
  • Dottie Salston
  • Dr Elsrensia K’avahra
  • Dr. Ed Ellsworth
  • Dr. Wrehsx
  • E'sphara
  • Empo
  • Ensign Sserhara
  • Gl'nsiel
  • Henry Smithson
  • Hrilleae
  • I’Isahra M’lensa
  • J'saera
  • Jahrae
  • Jamila Karenga
  • J’luhre Forest Preserve
  • Jesnsera
  • Jredvarha City
  • Keene
  • Khaehala
  • Khahishra
  • Kukaeshra
  • Kyielra
  • Lajxa R’chr
  • llhaesa
  • Lzrehae
  • M'sela J'serhn
  • M'traliel
  • Marcia Paang
  • Mark Cahill
  • Mrevan
  • N'rellia
  • N'rellia Naturally
  • Nenseru Woods
  • Njesera
  • North 41
  • Old City
  • Olterian
  • reiki
  • Ronnie
  • Saehressa
  • Sara Beth
  • SEQ
  • Serada
  • Sjre Jlrasre
  • Sk'vra
  • southeast quadrant
  • Susan Woodward
  • Sylvia Washington
  • Tim
  • V'aesza
  • Vicki
  • Vreloran
  • Y'sre School of Music
  • Zreltian

♣ who’s who

Aalon:

Chief Curator of N’rellia Conservatory of Music



Aailhra:

Arrhazonan equivalent to Reiki



Addison:

Ronnie and llhaesa’s eldest daughter



Arrhazon:

llhaesa & Jahrae home world



Brellian:

Unstable Arrhazonan dictator



Chsensera:

Child friend of llhaesa and Jahrae



Cshrehyi T’yaeli:

llhaesa’s brother



Djellrin Khentavra:

Jahrae’s dad



E'sphara:

Owner of E’sphara Artist Colony



Gl’nsiel Frehsan:

Chief of Government after Brellian



Hrilleae Khentavra:

Jahrae’s mum



Admiral I'Isahra M'lensa:

Commander of Equality



Jahrae T'srha Khentavra:

llhaesa’s wife, and Ambassador



Jesnsera Sserhara:

hero of revolution who saves Jahrae



Ensign Jesnsera Sserhara:

daughter of Jahrae’s friend & wife of Chsensera



Elsrensia K’avahra:

Physician and revolutionary



Khaehala:

Chsensera’s mum



Khahishra:

llhaesa’s college roommate and M’traliel’s wife



Kyielra:

victim of murder, witnessed by young Jahrae



llhaesa ahrella t'yaeli:

musician and leader of two worlds



Lzrehae N’seseh:

Government employee and discoverer of important documents



M'sela J'serhn:

llhaesa’s college advisor



M'traliel Zralensa:

friend of llhaesa, and first lover



Mrevan:

llhaesa’s dad



Njesera:

Head of government records department



N'rellia:

Llhaesa’s college and most prestigious school on Arrhazon



Olterian:

Concert promoter



Saehressa:

llhaesa’s mum



Serada:

Ronnie and llhaesa’s youngest daughter



Sjre Jlrasre:

Café owner



Sk'vra Kjurha:

llhaesa nemesis and future hero of revolution



Vreloran:

government technician who helps llhaesa



Zreltian:

Former Arrhazonan Chief of Government



♣ historical tales

  • February 2009
  • January 2009
  • December 2008
  • November 2008
  • October 2008
  • September 2008
  • August 2008
  • July 2008
  • June 2008

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♣ CC License

Worlds Undone

by llhaesa t'yaeli



Is licensed under a

Creative Commons Attribution-No Derivative Works 3.0 United States License.

Based on a work at http://llhaesa.org/.

♣ CC Licence II

Worlds Undone

by llhaesa



Is licensed under a

Creative Commons Attribution-No Derivative Works 3.0 United States License.

Based on a work at llhaesa.wordpress.com.

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